Hair help needed, advice wanted!

Hello folks!  I've been lurking for a while but only just signed up to post here so this is my first thread!  I must say - this forum is an amazing resource of advice on all-things beauty related! 

Well, I am seeking the advice of those in-the-know about my hair situation.  I am getting more and more exasperated with my hair and I just hate it.  I'll try to outline my basics below...

So, first off it should be said I live in Frizz City - AKA Arkansas (!), so my conditions are almost perpetually humid, moist and frizzy.  I am 34 yrs old, white, female.  My ethnicity is best described as northern European - I was born blonde but transitioned to a dishwater-light-brown fairly quickly.  Now, at 34, my natural color is an ugly, flat dishwater ashen-brown with about 30% gray.  I color-treat my hair fairly often - maybe three to four times per year, once or twice at home and once or twice at the salon.  I used to get highlights when I was a teenager, but in my late-20s and early-30s I have moved more towards embracing nice, darker brown-red tones.  I do not heat-style my hair apart from blow drying.  I do not use a flat iron or a curling iron.  My hair, once dry, is pretty darned straight - with the occasional wave.  Every time I go to a salon, they always remark on how "healthy" my hair is.  It is about two inches below my shoulders, right now.  If I do NOT blowdry my hair and allow it to air-dry, then god help me.  It will be a DISASTER made of frizz and straw.

Now, after the background, comes my issues.  What the heck is my hair?!    Every time I get it cut, they always say my hair is "crazy", because they keep cutting at it and just more and more seems to appear.  They say there is SO much of it!  I can get pillowcases full of it cut from my head, and still have a full head of hair.  When I wash it, it can take FOREVER to dry, and down at the nape of my neck can stay damp until lunchtime.  I have to wash my hair pretty much every day, because my scalp gets uber-oily and VERY itchy after 24hrs of not washing, and my hair line gets GROSS with oil, not to mention the backs of my ears.  I just feel gross when I don't wash my hair in the mornings - and believe me when I say that this is not something that is remedied by showering with a cap on.....I STILL feel gross if I don't literally wash my hair.  I do not have any issues with dandruff.

After washing, conditioning, and drying with the blow-dryer, my hair invariably ends up frizzy and as soft-as-birds-feathers.  It's hard to brush after drying, and the hair itself when still damp seems to have a LOT of elasticity and doesn't break very easily.  I have a LOT of flyaways and a cowlick on the right hand side of my head at my bangs area that is uncontrollable and does not really grow and is very fine.  After stepping outside in the morning, my hair looks like a disastrous straw bale  with flyaways and frizz here in Arkansas - the more humid the weather, the worse it looks.  It's totally uncontrollable.  My hair breaks hair clasps, and there are very few that are strong enough to keep it in place.  When I run a hand over my head/hair, I can feel roughness despite it being very straight and relatively long.

By afternoon, usually, every day my hair tends to calm down and behave a bit better - I like to say it has "cured" for a few hours after washing.  It is then more brushable, although now it feels quite dry.  I usually enjoy this stage of my days by using a clasp and getting my hair out of my way/eyes.  I have very few split ends - although, admittedly, after having a handful of highlights put in about 9 months ago, I did see one or two appear.  

My individual hairs are........odd.  If I pull one or two from my head.  Some can be dead straight.  Most are very elastic, at least in the mornings after washing.  Some are sort of kinky, or have little waves or chinks in them, but as a whole head of hair, it lies flat and isn't kinky/curly or even very wavy, much.  

I use shampoo, conditioner, and a leave-in anti-frizz serum after washing, which is sometimes applied while still damp, sometimes after blowdrying, and sometimes both.  I have been using EverPure/EverStrong shampooing and conditioning products, but just yesterday in my desperation I looked for a more anti-humectant product and chose the Formerly Organix Moroccan Argan Oil line of shampoo, conditioner and leave-in serum.  After trying all these out this morning, I am disappointed.  My hair feels the same as I have described above.  Overly soft, flyaway, frizzy in the morning.  Obviously haven't got to the afternoon yet, but I imagine it will be the same as I said before.  

I just long for sleek, healthy, long hair, you know?  I am SICK and TIRED of this massive, thick, dense, frizzy, flyaway mess (that, strangely enough, looks very straight to an onlooker).  What am I doing wrong??  Why can I use all the anti-frizz stuff in the world, and still be frizzy?  Why, given my ethnicity, is my hair SO dense, thick and soft??

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!

Have you tried anything like th L'Oreal Hair Expertise EverSleek Smoothing Anti-Frizz Serum before you go out or when the fly aways start appearing? Its a bit oily but I find that it keeps everything in place cause I have a major problem with this even though its not humid. Just apply it to the ends to start about a pea sized drop for each half and work it in to the ends the most and just a little towards the roots so the roots don't look too oily. Hope this helps /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Leah_Bosward said:

Have you tried anything like th L'Oreal Hair Expertise EverSleek Smoothing Anti-Frizz Serum before you go out or when the fly aways start appearing? Its a bit oily but I find that it keeps everything in place cause I have a major problem with this even though its not humid. Just apply it to the ends to start about a pea sized drop for each half and work it in to the ends the most and just a little towards the roots so the roots don't look too oily. Hope this helps /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

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Hey there!  Thanks for the reply!

Yes, I have used anti-frizz serums a lot, as well as leave-in conditioners (although those always made me feel "dirty").  I have been using the Garnier Fructis Anti-Frizz serum, and now have just started trying the formerly Organix Moroccan Argan Oil anti-frizz serum......but it doesn't really seem to have made much difference and the Fructis stuff certainly didn't.   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  I apply the stuff from root to tips very thoroughly - doesn't really make much difference. 

Is there something special about the EverSleek ones you mention above, that the rest don't have?

I just use it compared to other ones because I think it makes my hair feel good and you can get it in smaller bottles to just slip in your bag or pocket to reapply. I don't know how long it would last in humid conditions but for British weather it does the job to just smooth the hair when out.

Leah_Bosward said:

I just use it compared to other ones because I think it makes my hair feel good and you can get it in smaller bottles to just slip in your bag or pocket to reapply. I don't know how long it would last in humid conditions but for British weather it does the job to just smooth the hair when out.

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Ah ok, gotcha.  Yeah, I don't think that sort of solution would do anything very much for me.  Sounds like that stuff is pretty much on par with the Fructis/Argan solutions I've been trying over here as well.  They almost seem too lightweight, but if I do anything heavier I just feel all gunked up.  I don't know if there will be a solution for me, quite frankly......my hair type just apparently wants to be a frizzy straw bale!

BTW I am a British expat - and I can tell you, the humidity here in Arkansas is like nothing you have ever experienced in the UK.   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Wow, your hair sounds healthy and awesome. I would guess your hair is densely disbributed on your scalp, ie you have tons of it and this makes it unmanagable.

Since you live in a humid climate and wash daily have you ever considered getting a Brazilian Keratin infusion treatment at your salon? It's a bit pricey, but your hair is the perfect candidate for it and you won't be bothered with frizz for months afterward. You'll at last have swingy perfect celeb hair.

CajunKitty said:

Wow, your hair sounds healthy and awesome. I would guess your hair is densely disbributed on your scalp, ie you have tons of it and this makes it unmanagable.

Since you live in a humid climate and wash daily have you ever considered getting a Brazilian Keratin infusion treatment at your salon? It's a bit pricey, but your hair is the perfect candidate for it and you won't be bothered with frizz for months afterward. You'll at last have swingy perfect celeb hair.

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Hahahaha!   Yeahhh.....the more research I do online, and the more hair problems and disasters I read about online, the more I come to realize that my gripes are pretty negligible compared to other people's issues!  But, it's the same every year when this time of year comes around.  A/K/A tornado season, springtime in April and May in Arkansas brings massive dew points, relative humidities of about 80-95% every day, and more rain than you can shake stick at!  The result is a head of hair for me that is frizzy, flyaway, thick, porous and altogether overpowering!  Like I said above.....even my hairdresser has remarked on how insanely dense and numerous my hair is when she cuts it.....she just keeps cutting and keeps cutting and keeps cutting LOLOL!

In my research this week, I have actually read up a bit about Brazilian Keratin treatments, and I must admit the idea of them DID seem pretty darn appealing to me.  The notion of having perfectly smooth, swingy hair in this humid climate that I don't have to spend an hour drying every morning OR coat with gloopy serum to even make myself presentable in the morning seems PREEEETTY freaking awesome!  So - do you have any experience with the Brazilian Keratin treatments?  Do they damage your hair real bad?  Do they play nice along with getting your hair colored?  How much $$$ are we looking at?

Thanks girls!

VakarianGirl said:

Hahahaha!   Yeahhh.....the more research I do online, and the more hair problems and disasters I read about online, the more I come to realize that my gripes are pretty negligible compared to other people's issues!  But, it's the same every year when this time of year comes around.  A/K/A tornado season, springtime in April and May in Arkansas brings massive dew points, relative humidities of about 80-95% every day, and more rain than you can shake stick at!  The result is a head of hair for me that is frizzy, flyaway, thick, porous and altogether overpowering!  Like I said above.....even my hairdresser has remarked on how insanely dense and numerous my hair is when she cuts it.....she just keeps cutting and keeps cutting and keeps cutting LOLOL!

In my research this week, I have actually read up a bit about Brazilian Keratin treatments, and I must admit the idea of them DID seem pretty darn appealing to me.  The notion of having perfectly smooth, swingy hair in this humid climate that I don't have to spend an hour drying every morning OR coat with gloopy serum to even make myself presentable in the morning seems PREEEETTY freaking awesome!  So - do you have any experience with the Brazilian Keratin treatments?  Do they damage your hair real bad?  Do they play nice along with getting your hair colored?  How much $$$ are we looking at?

Thanks girls!

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Good questions. I have no personal experience with Brazilian Keratin infusion treatment since my hair is just normal and wavy, not super thick like yours. The climate I live in is temperate, not humid.

BK does contain formaldehyde which is a turn off to some. It doesn't dry out hair that I have heard of. For the first day after the treatment, you do not wash your hair, but you can wash it after that and you hair will stay frizz free for months.

If this doesn't appeal to you, you could try styling your  hair with hair sticks since your hair is so thick it breaks clips. (I aspire to breaking a hair clip). Hair sticks work well for dense thick hair because they hold well without damaging the hair shaft and those that are hand made are so stylishly beautiful they add a touch of quiet elegance to your look. Thumbs up to hair sticks.

I don't have this density of hair, but I grew up with a Eurpoean descent girl with super-thick hair (we're talking about the number of strands here; though her individual hairs were also thick aka coarse, it doesn't sound like yours are). Her hair dresser would actually cut out and thin her hair overall every haircut. So in addition to reducing length, it is possible to actually reduce density by strategically cutting hair at various lengths within the style and also close to the scalp. Her hair was always double my half-fist worth of ponytail, but it was not quadruple that or more, which it would be without the cut. I suggest you try to find a hairdresser who has experience thinning the hair. Many of us are on the opposite side of this picture, which is more complex to solve, but your frustrations can be reduced with a good thinning.

Incidentally, though she enjoyed having (deliberately thinned) longer hair, she would give herself a break from it every couple of summers and get a short cut. The hair could be donated to make more than a wig each time, even though a wig generally takes much, much more hair than a lot of us have to start!

Well, to start off, the reason your hair is so dense is because you're naturally a blonde.  Blondes have the greatest number of hairs per head.  It sounds like your hair is fine, also, which makes it light and fluffy and susceptible to frizz.  I bet your hair is GORGEOUS in the cooler months of the year.  I'm jealous!

It's odd because when I was very young, my hair was super soft and fine the way yours sounds, but then when I hit puberty, my texture changed drastically.  My hair is now coarse and I have the same issue you mentioned: some strands are straight and some are kinky/wavy and cannot be tamed.  I guess I'd consider my hair "wavy," but when I tell people that, they imagine those pretty beachy waves and that is so far from what I've got going on!  Haha!  When my hair air-dries, it looks like a birds nest....just a tangled, frizzy, fuzzy, mangled mess of hair with no uniform wave patter whatsoever lol

I live in Delaware where the humidity is killer also, and I still haven't found a product that works 100% of the time.  I like to use silicone frizz serums (Frizz-Ease, PM Gloss Drops, etc) and they work in low-to-moderate humidity, but this time of year when the humidity is this oppressive, they help, but within a few minutes of being outside my hair is still nowhere near flat and straight. 

I am, however, experimenting with a new product.  I picked up that 7-day-smooth keratin product from Tresemme and tried it out for the first time yesterday.  The directions are misleading though.....I would not use NEARLY as much product as they recommend.  My hair is thick, coarse and a few inches past my shoulders and I used 2 pumps and it was sufficient.  It still got a little poofy after being outside for awhile, but to be fair, it was off and on raining outside and close to 90 degrees, so the humidity was sky-high.  But I will say that the frizz was much more controlled than with any other product so far.  My one complaint, however, was that by the end of the night my hair felt a bit heavy and just slightly greasy.  But today I washed it and now it feels amazing.  And it's supposed to last a few days, so I'm thinking if you do a pump or two every few washes, you might benefit from it.  So if I were you, I'd pick some up and give it a shot.  Worst case, you wasted $7.  Good luck to you!!

also ontop of all the beautiful advice you have been given, I also recommend sunsilk frizz factor shampoo, might help with the frizzyness. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Just come across your post, I am a consumer, not a professional.   I can only point you to what I use.   My hair became very brittle post op and 15 weeks of radiotherapy.   My hairdresser suggested I look at the Pro Naturals website http://www.pro-naturals.com/pro-naturals-hair-repair-system.html - I decided to purchase the Hair Repair System and I am so glad that I did.   After a couple of months my hair is smooth, no longer brittle and even though I use a curling iron on it daily, I no longer have split ends.   You should also look at the blog while you are browsing http://www.pro-naturals.com/blog/  

I think you should stop experimenting with hair care products, and buy argon oil for hair now. When nothing works on hair, argon oil does. But please share your experience here on the forum.