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- Jun 16, 2007
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Okay, don't get me wrong in any way, I love my boyfriend/fiance to death. He is a great guy, and he really treats me well. He does all those sweet things most girls want in a guy. He kisses my hand, buys me things for no reason, is intimate with me when we're alone (not in public, we both HATE P.D.A.), and always tells me I look beautiful as soon as he sees me, not to mention he notices little things that most men wouldn't even see.
But lately... I've been getting worried about his drinking problem. He's 20, and in the U.S. the drinking age is 21. So naturally, not only is it illegal, he could get in a lot of trouble. He has been drinking since he was 16 years old at parties. When we started going out, he never drank, not once, until about a year and a half later, he started up again. This is very difficult for me to understand because I have only drank maybe twice in my life, and both times were half a glass of wine mixed with 7-up when I was 10 because my aunt told me it was good for me. My friend died when I was 15 walking to the 7-eleven and he was killed by a drunk driver, he had the same morals I have now, and I continue with his morals in his memory. I have done drugs twice, and never done them again. He started smoking (weed) again last year, and now he's stopped because I convinced him he needed to because he would lose his job he worked so hard to get.
He's not violent when he's drunk, he's just a happy drunk. He always smiles at me when he's been drinking and tells me everything he loves about me, and sometimes I like him more when he's drunk then when he's sober, he's nicer. But I still worry, sometimes he gets angry and brings up my ex-boyfriends that I haven't talked to or seen in 3 years. He fights with me about them and calls me a slut because I wasn't a virgin when I met him and he was. He can be smart when he's drunk though... last week our friend was doing a very illegal drug in his garage and he made my boyfriend close the garage door. Well, I was scared out of my mind because I don't like being near drugs, and this 30 year old dealer kept touching my leg in my friend's garage. So I was shaking and basically having a panic attack. By the end of the night my boyfriend ended up punching my friend in the face and knocking him over on his turkey frier and collection of expensive hookahs. And last night, our friend offered me a beer, and this happens all the time, so it's nothing new. Anyways, I said no thank you, and my boyfriend got up and started yelling at our friend saying things like "Are you trying to make my girlfriend into a trashy b*tch like the girls you play around with!?" And he just kept going at our friend and eventually shoved him into his pool table and told me we were going and we left. I was so surprised and scared by his outburst, I didn't know what to think.
Now, this kind of behavior is what is starting to scare me. Getting angry and calling me out on things I had no control over at the time, and fighting with our friends.
I have tried time and time again to tell him I worry about his well-being by drinking, and that his behavior is getting scary to me, and each time he tells me: "I won't do it again, I promise."
What should I do? I normally know how to handle this, but this situation, I don't know how to work it out?
Help?
But lately... I've been getting worried about his drinking problem. He's 20, and in the U.S. the drinking age is 21. So naturally, not only is it illegal, he could get in a lot of trouble. He has been drinking since he was 16 years old at parties. When we started going out, he never drank, not once, until about a year and a half later, he started up again. This is very difficult for me to understand because I have only drank maybe twice in my life, and both times were half a glass of wine mixed with 7-up when I was 10 because my aunt told me it was good for me. My friend died when I was 15 walking to the 7-eleven and he was killed by a drunk driver, he had the same morals I have now, and I continue with his morals in his memory. I have done drugs twice, and never done them again. He started smoking (weed) again last year, and now he's stopped because I convinced him he needed to because he would lose his job he worked so hard to get.
He's not violent when he's drunk, he's just a happy drunk. He always smiles at me when he's been drinking and tells me everything he loves about me, and sometimes I like him more when he's drunk then when he's sober, he's nicer. But I still worry, sometimes he gets angry and brings up my ex-boyfriends that I haven't talked to or seen in 3 years. He fights with me about them and calls me a slut because I wasn't a virgin when I met him and he was. He can be smart when he's drunk though... last week our friend was doing a very illegal drug in his garage and he made my boyfriend close the garage door. Well, I was scared out of my mind because I don't like being near drugs, and this 30 year old dealer kept touching my leg in my friend's garage. So I was shaking and basically having a panic attack. By the end of the night my boyfriend ended up punching my friend in the face and knocking him over on his turkey frier and collection of expensive hookahs. And last night, our friend offered me a beer, and this happens all the time, so it's nothing new. Anyways, I said no thank you, and my boyfriend got up and started yelling at our friend saying things like "Are you trying to make my girlfriend into a trashy b*tch like the girls you play around with!?" And he just kept going at our friend and eventually shoved him into his pool table and told me we were going and we left. I was so surprised and scared by his outburst, I didn't know what to think.
Now, this kind of behavior is what is starting to scare me. Getting angry and calling me out on things I had no control over at the time, and fighting with our friends.
I have tried time and time again to tell him I worry about his well-being by drinking, and that his behavior is getting scary to me, and each time he tells me: "I won't do it again, I promise."
What should I do? I normally know how to handle this, but this situation, I don't know how to work it out?
Help?
