How can you tell if someone is lying on an internet dating site?
Posted 11 June 2010 - 02:13 AM
He got really frustrated about the whole situation, so I suggested that he make an online dating profile. He did and immediately stated getting contact from younger women. He started talking to a girl named Dionne who was 30, seemed really nice, and had some really nice pics on her profile. After a few weeks, he actually set up a date with her and to make things less awkward they were both gonna have a friend with them. Well she said me and Kev could go over her house which was about 45 minutes away and just chat for a bit, then go to Dave and Buster's together. We drove over there and parked.
A very large lady (perhaps even morbidly obese) met us at the door and told us to come in and sit down. Kev then said "Hi I'm Kevin, I'm here to meet Dionne", she then said "OH I'M DIONNE". Well you can just say there was some silence in the room. I could tell that Kev wanted to get out of there ASAP and he said that we were going to Taco Bell around the corner and if she wanted anything. She said yes and to bring her some Chessey Gordita Crunches. Well needless to say we weren't going to TB and he drove out like a bat out of hell! I was shocked because the photos online were not of this lady!!!
He then started talking to someone else online who was also a younger girl and was very nice looking. Once again after talking to her for a few minutes they set up a date. I didn't go this time, but he said that when he was waiting for her outside her home. She sent a text message saying "if you don't like how I look, let me know we don't have to go out". He said he got a bad vibe, but thought nothing of it. The lady then came out and was once again an obese 40+ year old lady. Well to not be a jerk, he got out the car and introduced himself or whatever and she noticed that he looked disappointed. He then said they could still go out and have dinner though. Well they went to dinner, but he really didn't want to. He also said that the lady was making sexual advances at him at dinner, but he was clearly not interested. Then he asked why she posted the decieving pics on her profile and she stated it was her, but when she was 25, and when she had pics of her now nobody would contact her.
Is this something that is prolific throughout dating sites, are there and legit profiles. What sites do you suggest, or are there any ways to tell if someone is just lying?
Posted 11 June 2010 - 02:25 AM
Posted 11 June 2010 - 02:44 AM
That all being said a good friend of mine who just went through a messy divorce met his new GF through plentyoffish.com
I met her recently while we were all hanging out in a bar. Some of the stories she told me made my skin crawl. Its the same kind of thing plentyoffish is also sort of a social place and women might make friends and sometimes compare notes about who they dated and so forth. My friend was one of their topics one day.
I don't like "locker room talk" when guys do it and sounds like even less when women do it.
Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:33 AM
Posted 11 June 2010 - 07:00 AM
Web cam is the way to go. My sister is a very large woman herself, yet with a beautiful personality. She's married, but she too plays an online game and has men falling over themselves for her. She is never honest with her pictures, even sharing as friends only, men and women alike. I used to play an online game for several years, which is a lot like a dating site to some people. Even sharing pictures as friends only was always a big surprise later. I learned over the years to take those pics with a grain of salt. I was just there to play the game but it's funny how things work out.
I never thought of the game as a dating site but I did end up meeting my fiance' on there. We were very upfront though, took it slow, and shared honest pictures. We web cammed for over a year before we met, and we knew when we met that we were already going to be together. The first day I met him face to face was the day we moved in together.
Him and I both were very lucky that we fell for honest, upfront people. My advice only comes from imagining how that could have been different. Your friend needs to share lots and lots of pictures. Ask specifically for recent pictures. Talk on the phone a lot, email a lot, take it slow. Before he meets someone face to face, tell him to give them a last chance to be upfront so neither of them is surprised.
Other than that, I can only emphasize taking it slow. I know he's in a hurry to find someone and be happy, but he needs to be reasonably sure that he could love the person he's about to meet despite a little flubbing about their flaws.
Posted 11 June 2010 - 07:12 AM
ah anyways I Think its obvious You can barely tell when a person is liying to you face to face why would anyone Believe ppl are honest online? I say if he really is a great guy than a great girl will eventually find him & vice versa its called taking your time & go out into the real world & acxtually meet ppl!!!! Its funner & you actually get to see your options instead of sitting in front of a screen typing & waiting for a response from a total lying about looks stranger!!!!
Posted 11 June 2010 - 08:19 AM
Darla, I think a webcam is a good investment if one plans to be serious about finding someone on the Internet. Most laptops these days come equipped with them, but you can buy them separately at fairly low prices.
Posted 11 June 2010 - 09:19 AM
Hence that is why I don`t use online dating, it is a very dangerous, risky move.
Posted 11 June 2010 - 04:05 PM
And yes, the webcam suggestion is good! I would do the same too.
You might also want to check this experiment too. The Lie Detection Experiment. This is not the answer to your problem but I think it's a good concept for an experiment to identify liars and all that.
Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:45 PM
Since your friend seems to be having bad experience after bad experience, I would suggest webcaming also. Or maybe met at a public place so he can check out his date and then pass if he wants too (something like what happened in You've Got Mail).
With a lot of those sites, anyone can sign up. He might want to look going a more professional route by looking at eharmony or even a matchmaker.
Posted 12 June 2010 - 01:45 AM
Your telling me, after the initial shock of seeing that lady I kinda did wanna crack up, but I was thinking how do I get outta here, without being such a bee-otch! Once we got in the car and Kevin expressed his disgust I laughed all the way home and some days afterward!!!
Posted 12 June 2010 - 03:57 AM
Tell your friend to error on the side of caution. If you have a gut feeling that something in rotten in Denmark, I act according to that gut feeling. Better safe than sorry. Besides with onlne dating you don't have the problems that you would have in the brick and mortar environment. Email can be deleted and on to the next relationship. One of the good things about online dating.
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