[beaglette]

Let me tell you where I'm coming from before anyone gets ticked at me for what I'm about to say.

I've been in in-patient rehab. I've been in outpatient rehab. I was an alcoholic and addicted to pills and pain patches (I used to chew Oxycontin by the handfuls and wear 8 duragesic patches at a time-- that's lethal, btw). Everyone can tell you how bad it is for you and how you are destroying your life. But, guess what? It's meaningless.

You know as well as I do you have to hit your rock bottom before you decide to change. No amount of prodding from anyone is going to change anything.

Get yourself to a meeting, even if you are drunk or high at the time. Just don't drive there, of course, if you ARE drunk or high. Those people understand-- don't say they don't. I understand. I understand alllll too well. They aren't going to judge you, even if you are using your DOC when you attend PROVIDED you want to get sober.

I nor anyone else can tell you what your rock bottom is but you'll know when you hit it. And then hopefully you'll decide to get some help.

I don't mean to sound harsh-- trust me, I have had my share and someone else's share of tough times and I thought the bottles were the answer. They never did anything for me except make things worse. And you can't stay high and wasted your whole life. Eventually you either die or come to your senses and hopefully the latter happens before the former. But, guess what? When you're done with getting high continually and escaping your present reality you are still faced with the same thing you are now, you've just delayed dealing with it: your present reality.

Know that we are here for you but I'm not going to pity you because it's not going to do you or any addict any good. You have admitted you are spiraling. And, I'm certain you know how to get it under control. The question is, are you going to do it?

Warmly,

Brandi