I agree in regards to what Carolyn said above.
I know exactly how you feel because I was abused by now exboyfriend for 4 years. The abuse escalated. What you described.. my ex did similar things. He enjoyed seeing me in pain. Sometimes he would lock me in a bedroom for hours or a few days and terrorize me. Abusers often 'brain wash' us. They make us feel like garbage, beat us, and under the next breath they act all loving, caring etc.
It took me a long time to leave. I was so terrified to leave him. Why? He threatened me many times what he would do to me if I left. I'm not sure how it happened but one day I just got the courage to leave. He was out, I packed my clothes, ID, important papers etc and took off. This is common with abusers the threats of what they will do or crying, pleading they can't live without you if they know or think we will leave. Abusers want to be in control and have power over their victims.
You don't want to end up like me. I've needed three surgeries on my arm and wrist due to his abuse. I still need more surgery. I have scars all over my body. His beatings left me with head concussions, permanent partial hearing loss in one ear, broken bones, dislocated shoulder etc etc.
My ex would have eventually killed me. I knew it was coming.
My life is slowly coming together. I no longer have to live in fear of what he will do next.
If I can leave the horrible situation I was in, I know you can too.
When you make that decision do not stay with family or friends. Contact a shelter and stay with them. You don't want him to know where you are.
Here are some phone numbers and links that will hopefully help you. Cover your tracks when looking up this information. You don't want him to know you've been checking out information. If it's possible, check out information on the internet at a public library, internet cafe etc to be on the safe side.
Phone a shelter etc from a pay phone, mall etc.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) - Break the silence, make the call.
Safety Plan for leaving
Domestic Violence Safety Plan - An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection
I hope this helped. Were here for you on
MUT. Please keep us updated.
Noone deserves to be abused. It is not your fault! Hugs to you.