Quote:
Originally Posted by laurreenn
i was hoping there'd be a girl on here who had a similar experience and had a turn around. like the boyfriend changed or something and he realized what he was doing and stopped. after he's done, it genuinely seems like he doesn't want to do it again..and he's fixed his HUGE problems in the past which is why i think he might be able to do it again..
|
Laurreenn, I can't say this any more clear:
Until he gets into therapy, he will never change.
There are a few ways that he will get into therapy:
1 - He gets arrested and convicted of domestic violence. The courts will then order him into a program.
2 - He calls around to various agencies or his doctor, and gets a referral to a program that focuses on men and domestic violence.
You can do all the work to get him into a program, but I guarantee he will not attend.
The courts have to order him or he has to have an epiphany and realize that he no longer wants to hurt you, but can't stop.
Hoping, wishing and praying are not going to stop him from assaulting and abusing you.
I grew up in a very violent household. My father was quite sadistic and always took out his rage on my brother and I. My mother would watch, or walk away. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't want to upset other MUTers.
I tried to run away a few times as a teen, but the police kept taking me back. I'm 44 now; 30+ years ago, kids had no rights.
I finally left at 18. I see my father periodically because of my son. But my father has not changed. I still see the anger in his eyes. I still see the clenched jaw and red face. I still hear demeaning comments he makes about minorities. I never leave my son alone with him.
So after 26 years of me being gone, my father still has not changed.
So please understand that your boyfriend will not change.
And that is why everyone is telling you to get away from him.