So last weekend my boyfriend told me that he feels like hes having a midlife crisis or something cuz he feels like Im smothering him and that hes feeling tide down. He also said that I'm controlling but when I ask him what I'm controlling about he cant seem to answer. He told me that he cant see his life without me and sometimes he cant see his life with me. Of course I started crying, its a natural reaction when someone tells you that. I cried the whole night and I didnt go to work the next day cuz my eyes were so puffy. I now know why he has been a lil stand offish lately. I told him the other night that I just want him to be happy and he told me that he wanted me to be happy. I am happy cuz I have him. I honestly dont know what I'd do if I ever lost him. I've never loved anyone that Ive dated as much as I love him. If he decides to break up with me, I'm screwed. I have no where to go. My parents moved to OK but I don't want to live there. I want to stay where I'm at. I just hope that he gets over this and we can move on from this. It's been goin good the past couple of days so maybe he's gettin over this whole thing. I just hope that when and if he gets over this that it doesnt happen again cuz I don't know if I can take it again.

sweetnsexy6953

I feel like such an outcast on MUT because im so pathetic and I go on just to stalk people and see all my old friends still conversing with one another and becoming closer and me just stalking them and not being a part of any of it. Sob. I know it's all my fault because I take no time to come on anymore but truth be told it doesnt keep my interest one bit. I only care about the people now. I never even look at any new threads unless theyre on the last 5 threads created by whomever I am stalkings profile.

So yeah. I just want you all to know I let this consume me like every time I go on and see my dearest friends going along with their MUT lives without me. I miss you all and the simple solution would be to start coming on again but I love my life way too much right now to even consider that an option.

I started my job at Goodwill about a month ago and I love it. I only work part time but I just picked up another shift and im trying to work myself to full time. My supervisor said they don't tend to hire people at full time anymore so I should make it my goal to become a supervisor and so that is my goal. I also still work random days at my old job to get as much money as I can. I would love more than anything to move out and that is also one of my goals. I need a full time job first though, im really trying. And starting to save, which is DIFFICULT for me. I have already discussed it with Johnny and we want to live together very much. This thing has only been going on 3 months now but to me it's pretty much 3 years. We are so close and know eachother so well that there is no point to sitting around and waiting to be serious when it already really is, and what we have both wanted for frikin ever.

Everything thus far has been more than perfect. Thats all I can do to describe it, lame and cheesy but there has been no problems between us and I still want to spend every second with him. We get loads of compliments from people we know AND strangers. We were downtown about a month ago and just walking together when some person (in a skeleton suit which made it all the more interesting) walked up to us and said we make a cute couple. Just stuff like that we seem to get a lot, that im not used to getting. Not to bore everyone with always talking about my love life but, even his mom looked at me and said she couldnt have picked a more beautiful, sweet girl for her son. And also said that she wished she had a daughter like me and not her own daughter, John's sister. (quite the bitch she is) When we went to his friends wedding a few weeks ago we got quite a few comments about how we were going to be married next, by how happy we were together.

So yeah, I guess I can't complain because my life is great but I still miss all my time spent on MUT. I have spent many hours on here in the past when I had no other life. It's just kind of sad to completely neglect it and all my past efforts even though I have no desire to post really, save blogging sometimes.

I love you all and have not forgot you. Although you have probably forgot me!

MindySue