Being lonely and without friends kinda sucks. But at the same time, sometimes I think it is for the best that I really dont have any friends. I have a few people that I can in some light regard as being a friend, but (fill in the blank)

Being singled out sucks and hurts as well. What hurts even more is when other people point it out to you. Its like getting shot, its painful. I had a buddy point something out to me, actually 3 people and once I saw it again, its like yeah youre right, but I cant be whiny about it, but being singled and left out does hurt.

Being two-faced sucks too. Especially when someone is verbally dogging my ass out, and it all gets back to me. Its a common known fact that women in general hold secrets and gossip like they hold their shit. Not long and not well. I would much rather prefer that the people that dont like me, just dont even attempt to be cordial to me. Sometimes cold war is better.

But at the same time, cold war sucks too, knowing that someone hates you and they totally dont acknowledge you, the bad vibes, it all just sucks. Love is so much better than war. I dont like holding grudges and burning bridges, But I am a tit for tat kinda person, I follow suit.

Useless, worthless, regarded as nothing more than a bitch 24/7, yeah I tend to call myself one but damn, just damn, ignored, disregarded, barely respected, ran over, left out, isolated, lonely, depressed, sad, all the words that relate to me and here.

I thank God for my husband and my kids, without them I would really have nothing. ...... I dont even know what else to say, I think I just need to go to sleep

Aprill