bella1342

We're having a girl!!!! I'm so excited!

Everything is going great, and the baby is exactly where she should be. (weight, measurements, etc) Yay!

Well... if you read my blog the other day, you know I was so nervous to go to my dr. appointment today. I go, and I really held everything together until it was time to hear the baby's heartbeat. For the most part..I was okay even then, until I realized he kept moving the wand (ah whatever it is) all around my belly, and we couldn't hear a heartbeat. He tried for awhile, and NOTHING. I had no emotion. I think I was trying to pretend I was somewhere else.

He told me he was sending...

So, I have a routine dr's appointment on thursday afternoon... I get to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Normally this is one of the happiest times during a pregnancy, but I'm terrified to go.

I'm afraid they won't find a heartbeat or something. I know it's sometimes hard to detect... but i don't know. I'm just afraid something has happened to my baby. I don't know where this pessimistic attitude/feeling came from.

I know this preganancy has been a lot...

Geez.... i was in the middle of writing a long emotional blog and I lost everything I wrote TWICE..when I was almost finished.

Hopefully I'll try to post it tomorrow. it's so late here now.

I really need someone to talk to.