I've been feeling much better, since I last posted in my blog. I'm trying to pull myself out of this deep hole; it feels like a continuous cycle. I miss feeling happy and carefree.

Whilst I have friends, I have always wanted to have a very close friendship. I've always wanted someone who I could consider as being my best friend. I feel that for some part, I have always been unlucky in friendships. I'm just sick of being taken for granted in some friendships. I honestly am. I find myself drifitng apart from a lot of people.. I can't help it, but once I get hurt I find it difficult to forgive. I;m just worried.. I don't want to go through my entire life, not knowing what it feels like to have a friend so close, you would consider them family.

I know life is a journey, but I'm finding this particular part of the journey very difficult at the moment. It's like a constant battle between happiness and sadness.

Curiosity

For some reason, I have been feeling pretty down; I suppose it's all the stress of exams coming up, friends and a lot of other things. Sometimes, I feel really alone, even though I know I am not alone.I'm not sure if that makes sense.. but it may to those who have been in the same position.

Why is it that friends feel as though they can depend on you, when theyfeel down..yet when you need someone to listen, there is no sign of them?

That is all.

Curiosity

Today has seriously made me consider my friendships. I may not be the loudest, most popular person, I do consider myself a good friend.

I had a group of friends (4 of us in total) however since September this group has fallen apart. With college starting and meeting new people, I am not surprised we all made different friends. However, when 1 person in your friendship group starts ignoring you and acting like you're invisible, then surely that is not the definition of friendship. Well, to cut this short, we stopped talking, but were still civil however another person in our friendship group has stopped talking to me, too. Instead, they both hang around and barely say anything to me.

I do understand not all friendships do not last, but I cannot comprehend why you would choose to blank someone, who has done nothing to you.

Curiosity