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Hello 60's..

Posted 05-27-2008 at 06:38 AM by daer0n

Well, i weighed myself yesterday, and turns out im down to 60 kgs, [primary goal], i had the shittiest day of my life yesterday, but im ok now, not great, but handling it.

I look at that pic on the left and i think 'my mom and brother are just crazy' i was talking to my brother on msn yesterday and he goes " You're way too skinny/bony in that picture sis, mom and i think you are way too skinny now" and im like

skinny? puhlease

I dunno why but i still see myself as FAT, i can't get it out of my head, i will always be fat, after you were 200+ pounds before you never see yourself as skinny anymore, i sometimes feel like a whale, deep down i know i am not, but i still do....reason why i workout too much. And i just can't stop until i get to where i want to be, i am obsessive when it comes to my appearance, i have HAVE to be/look perfect, if i don't then im not good enough for anything. Sometimes i think its so stupid, but its something that traumatized me when i was on the heavier side, and it just wont go away, it never will..

I am on one hand happy that i finally got there, now only 2 kgs away from my secondary goal, 5 pounds or less...sounds like too much when you convert it to pounds, boo to the pounds, anyways..so yeah.

All i ever do is blog about this huh? i wanna slap myself sometimes for being obsessive about it..bah.

Comments 16

Total Comments 16

Comments

don´t worry, welcome to my world. I also obsess about my looks in a very unhealthy way. I drive myself nuts sometimes and it´s bad for my self confidence (which I really lack, but nobody would know cause I seem very confident in real life) but I can´t shake it off.
I know where it comes from, I was an ugly duckling in high school and I was "invisible" to everyone cause I was very shy on top of that.
Until the age of 16 I was toothpick shaped and felt really awkward about it, then I had a half-grey tooth (I broke off half of my front tooth and the root died, and I was too young for a crown), then I had braces. Top that with an ugly haircut, mousey blonde hair and teenage acne.

It feels great to know I am not shy and not ugly or invisible anymore, but that feeling you had back then is hard to shake. If I blogged about my daily thoughts, it would be 80% about my looks.

Anyways, congrats on reaching 60kg. And you do not look too skiny/bony at all!!! That´s what a skinny person´s collar bones look like lol.

Posted 05-27-2008 at 10:12 AM by Andi Andi is offline

	Oh Nury, I think you're beautiful. Call me crazy like your borther, but I don't think you're fat at all. Congrats on meeting your primary goal. I think it is great that you have set several goals for yourself and taking it in steps. Best of luck!
	Posted 05-27-2008 at 11:03 AM by Ashley

	I'm not reeeeally obssessed with my appearance,but I know I have to lose more weight.I've lost 7 kg so far,but I have to lose 10 more. I know how you feel,I am still overweight.People say I'm getting thin,but I can't stop worrying! Well,i just have to say that you're the only one who can stop it. No matter what people say,you'll stop when you feel like.
	Posted 05-27-2008 at 03:58 PM by Bikz

Nury, you be taking your MIL's psycho pills? I think you're fine with how you look. Perfect even, especially for having 3 kids.

Don't beat yourself up! You've gotten to your goal, at least. I hope you stop being obsessive once you're there, woman. I don't want my Nury looking all malnourished and sickly looking. That's not cute. I would so call you out on that too and FED EX a hot dog to your ass. Have lumberjack force feed you that shit. Haha.

But yeah, you us know Latinos - they gotta say something about EVERYTHING and it's never encouraging. Tortilla eating bastards, haha. I keed. Hope no one reads that and gets offended. Haha... I eat tortillas too! I have the thighs to prove it. Got child baring hips. Ha.

Hearts you, Nury baby! Congrats on the progress.

Posted 05-27-2008 at 07:38 PM by CellyCell CellyCell is online now

Oh Andi i know, i used to be pretty much invisible too, i always had obesity problems, always fat, when i was in school everyone pretty much had a bf, but me, didnt have one till i turned 17 which was when i looked the most decent, physically wise, still, i was pretty unhappy with my looks, i always hated to look at myself in the mirror and think, you cant wear a bikini, you look fat, flabby, you're never gonna have the barbie type of body, plus, most guys seemed to like blonde girls, and i wasnt one....till i dyed my hair haha, and it felt kinda lame.

I, like you, am extremely obsessive about my looks, can't never shake it off either, ever.

Quote:

Anyways, congrats on reaching 60kg. And you do not look too skiny/bony at all!!! That´s what a skinny person´s collar bones look like lol.

Thank you Andi! they were just used to see the fat me i guess. lol!

Posted 05-27-2008 at 08:51 PM by daer0n daer0n is offline

	Thank you Ashley for all the compliments, you're too sweet!
	Posted 05-27-2008 at 08:51 PM by daer0n

	Bikz, i only have to lose two more...but those two kill me, thinking i NEED to lose them, sometimes i think its pathetic lol but it is that bad. I know i will do it soon though so can you! good luck!
	Posted 05-27-2008 at 08:53 PM by daer0n

LMAO Celly, i LOVE your comments, i know, im loca, skinny ...[pfft] and loca

i will be at my goal soon, promise i wont look malnourished for you, or you can call me the kid from biafra

and kick my scrawny arse for it.

Hm, don't get me started on eating a hot dog and lumberjack force feeding me that shyte, cause...i might like it baha.

Child bearing hips you say, let mine talk about that ha! pft, oh well, im a latina too, what can i say, and i was just eating tortillas btw

im a tortilla eating bastard

i love it, and a lettuce salad with avocado on it, semi guacamole, i just needed the beans, damn beaner bastards hahaha, im a mexican, don't get offfended im kidding too *hides* i do love all that stuff LOL!

Thank you Celly, i love ya! <3333 woot!

Posted 05-27-2008 at 09:06 PM by daer0n daer0n is offline

	I think every girl is worrying all the time about her body we should.. but it's bad when we are never satisfied lol I'm 53 kgs and i'm not happy about it too hehehe so you should let people judge girl u're so perfect you're beautiful and sexy *_^ smile
	Posted 05-28-2008 at 12:41 PM by Stylish Daisy

	Aww, thank you very much Stylish Daisy!
	Posted 05-28-2008 at 04:15 PM by daer0n

	you look great! i was totally gonna make an inappropriate comment about how good you look, but somebody probably would take it the wrong way and i'd get kicked off the forums and find myself adrift on the 'net trying to find something else to take up my time since i couldn't post here anymore... and nevermind. did i ever let you know that you look great?!
	Posted 05-30-2008 at 05:07 PM by ticki

	N, I respect you so much that you have the perseverance to do this.. you're not fat at all, I think you are gorgeous and beautiful. I'm so bad at losing weight, I just don't have the energy sometimes.. and I love food so much I will always be proud of you
	Posted 05-31-2008 at 05:34 AM by pinksugar

	LMAO Ticki! Thank you for the non said compliment anyways, i don't think i would have taken it the wrong way at all, you're always really nice, thank you very much!
	Posted 05-31-2008 at 10:09 AM by daer0n

	Aww Rosie, thank you so much! you're too sweet, i LOVE LOVE LOVE food too, i have SUCH a hard time trying to not eat too much i swear, i wish i could eat all day all the stuff that i love Yesterday i pigged out on some lime chips topped with hot sauce, -sigh- oh well LOL gotta have my endulgement times too i think
	Posted 05-31-2008 at 10:11 AM by daer0n

You look great dearon, I'm surprised you are still looking to lose weight, you seem to be a good UK size 8 in the pix. I've been looking to lose weight as well, and have been on some diets, as well as exercise, but always crumple at the 3 week mark, I never managed to go past that time frame. Anyway, just want to congratulate you on your great weight loss

I didn't even know MUT had a blog part till I stumbled upon yours!

Posted 08-15-2008 at 04:09 AM by Aniger86 Aniger86 is offline

	Thank you Aniger! im just wanting to lose more weight so that i dont have to throw out or give away some really cute clothes that i have from when i was supe skinny, i love those clothes, and i want to fit back in them. Thank you again for the compliments
	Posted 08-15-2008 at 10:37 PM by daer0n

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