A sigh of relief!

Its so weird, two months ago I was devastated to lose the best girls I had in my life. It was such an emotional ordeal for me and I felt so confused as to what I did and if I was really a good friend or not. As the days went on, I realized it wasn't me at all. I did everything a friend does. I was there for them, cried with them, drove them when they needed it, did favors for them, crashed at their house when no one was there for them, ditched my boyfriend when I had too to stay with them, and I truly loved them for the people they were.

I never asked for anything from them except to be an exceptional friend back, but of course that's never the case. You give 110%, they give 50% back.

But since I'm turning 21 a week from now, and I don't really have anyone to share it with besides my boyfriend and family, I think I'm just glad. It took me so long to realize that I really grew up and became more independent in life. I always tell my boyfriend, "Oh I wish I had girlfriends to hang out with!". Sometimes I miss that, but I can't be friends with someone who doesn't give it their all. But I'm glad that on my birthday I can spend it with people who really care for me.

I still wonder what their up too every now and then. Sometimes I hope to run into them just to see if they've been okay. But apart of me doesn't care anymore. Anndd, I think I've officially healed from it all. The emotional pain and distress I went thru, was too much.

I just wanted to write some thoughts on this because I was just thinking about it a few minutes ago. Funny how situations change.