[laurreenn]

there was a week where me and my boyfriend took a break from each other and agreed not to see each other. i spent that week hanging out with my ex and some of my friends. it was completely platonic, we didn't do anything but regardless, all my boyfriend thought about was that it was my ex. that was over a year ago. (we spent a total of 1 week hanging out). my boyfriend still brings it up & claims that it hurts him. i can definitely feel a distance between us in the relationship. what should i do? how do i heal this relationship?

[SimplyElegant]

Honestly with what you've posted before, distance between you two is a really good thing.

[jacquelyna]

Originally Posted by SimplyElegant

Honestly with what you've posted before, distance between you two is a really good thing.

I was thinking the same thing.

[Aprill]

Originally Posted by SimplyElegant

Honestly with what you've posted before, distance between you two is a really good thing.

couldnt have said it any better

[Carolyn]

I couldn't agree more with the other ladies.

[laurreenn]

i know that he's done some bad stuff in the past, but i really care about him. since "the incident" nothing's happened and that was over a month or so ago. i'm really trying to work this out and i know a lot of you ladies are only thinking of me when you suggest that i move on but i want us to work out. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated..

[Ricci]

a month isnt very long that doesn't mean hes changed

[Aprill]

Getting beat isnt an incident

[AngelaGM]

No woman deserves to be abused, please love yourself enough to see that.

[Ricci]

Originally Posted by Aprill

Getting beat isnt an incident

Yup if he beats u once he will beat u again and again and again..

[S. Lisa Smith]

Please listen to the advice given above. You and your boyfriend are not meant to be. Sorry, but I think in your heart of hearts I think you know this too.

[Carolyn]

I'm not sure why you refer to your beatings as "the incident". On previous threads you have talked about him assaulting you on many occasions.

I assume that one of the reasons you wanted to have some time away was to think about your relationship and for him to develop some appreciation for you and to understand that you don't want to be assaulted anymore.

But instead, he dwells on the fact that he needs to control what you think about and who you associate with.

The reality is - it is up to him to heal this relationship by going into therapy.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it is the truth.

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by Carolyn

I'm not sure why you refer to your beatings as "the incident". On previous threads you have talked about him assaulting you on many occasions.

I assume that one of the reasons you wanted to have some time away was to think about your relationship and for him to develop some appreciation for you and to understand that you don't want to be assaulted anymore.

But instead, he dwells on the fact that he needs to control what you think about and who you associate with.

The reality is - it is up to him to heal this relationship by going into therapy.

I know this is not what you want to hear, but it is the truth.

Listen to this woman. Whenever I read her comments, you know you're hearing judgement from a wise person.

[laurreenn]

he has entered treatment. i've seen a psychologist for about 2 years and she specializes in couples therapy and she offered to change my sessions to both me and my boyfriend.

[Carolyn]

Laureen, I am thrilled to hear that your boyfriend is in therapy.
I don't want to ask any personal questions as it is not my business.
However, does your psychologist offer any ideas to help heal your relationship or does she want you to figure things out for yourself - with a bit of direction from her?

[laurreenn]

oh i don't mind if you ask questions. i kind of fee