[Adrienne]

Okay, I am just so f**king pissed right now my hands are trembling. So this past weekend, my husband fixed the brakes on his car and i told him that i wanted to drive it to work from now on. We have an accord and an xterra. I figured that since i drive futher I might as well drive the car that sucks up less gas.

So today i take the car to work. When i get ready in the morning, i listen to my mp3 player because my son is asleep and i don't like to wake him earlier than i have to. Its easier to get ready if hes knocked out. I leave for work and i always have my phone on my lap because i never hear it ring and its much safer to get it quickly than going through my purse while driving. I always call my husband when i get to work because i usually have to enter the building while noone's there and i feel safer talking to him. I notice that i have a missed call so i ask him about is and he gets all mad asking, "Why didn't you answer? What were you doing? Were you messing with your phone?" I get all bent outta shape and tell him I dont remember what the hell i was doing the second i missed his call and if i need to "mess" with my phone, whatever that means, then i will.

He keeps asking why i didn't answer and what was i doing? I just hang up the phone and send him a text saying, "I told you I'm not dealing with this sh*t" and by sh*t I mean his jealous attitude.

So then and hour goes by and about thirty minutes ago he calls me when he goes on break as usual. He starts asking, "who's makeup whore" and I'm like what? Apparently I had written down makeupwhore (one of our individuals here which im sure you're familiar with) and i couldn't remember why. I also had two pictures of two girls. He asks why i have these two pictures and I tell him that i don't know what he's talking about. I know I'll randomly print out fotd's photos from here because there're plenty of looks i'd love to replicate as i'm sure many of other people do here. It is a makeup forum. Then he starts all over again and says "Well what if i had pictures of two guys in my car? What would you think?" I tell him i don't know, what am i supposed to think? I tell him that he knows i'm makeup obssesed, he lives with me and sees me doing different looks all the damn time and he knows i go through all my magazines and rip out the looks or hair that i loved.

I just tell him bye and I hang up on him again. Then he calls back complaining about why are my magazines rolling around in the back. I had them in the back seat and someone had thrown them under the seat. I had plans to give them to my coworker's wife as she loves to read them as well and then use them for reading material as clients wait in the front. I tell him, although he already knows this and he starts complaining about how he's the only one who cleans the cars. Well a$$hole, i'm the only one who cleans the house, does the laundry, cooks, gives my kid baths and dress him and maintain a 9 hour shift job and picks up after him all the damn time. And he has the nerve to b*tch at me about a small "mess" in my car!!!??? I'm driving his junk and it has bottles all around the back and snack wrappers all over the place not to mention i don't remember the last time it was cleaned.

I'm so sick and tired of his jealousy and its literally getting old. I've dealt with his crap for far too long and what i'm doing right now is just ignoring it and saying it like it is. I've been biting my tongue for too long. His ignorance/jealousy has wore me out for years and to be honest, i'll be surprised if we make it to see our 5 year anniversary in January.

Well get cool again and act like nothing happened and then he'll get mad for no reason and somehow its all my fault when he's the one with the temper and attitude. And even if i did start it, how am i supposed to just let everything he does go when all he does is nag nag nag with jealousy.

I feel like i can't take this anymore and just want out. I'm so miserable but i dont' want to do anything irrational.

[GlossyAbby]

Im sorry you are going through this. Have the two of you tried counseling? I think it could help with his jealousy issues.

[shyiskrazy2]

It sounds like he is insecure and has issues. He sounds like my ex except he can do manly projects without making a wreck of the area. My ex is in counseling and he says that it is helping a lot. We are legally separated. I'm sorry that your hubby is being a jerk...but maybe you can get him to get you something to make up for his hissy fit. I guess it's just part of being married and sometimes guys have PMS.

[sooperficial]

Sorry you're having to deal with his clearly immature behavior. It sounds like he blows things way out of proportion and THAT much jealousy is never a good thing. I've had similar problems with an ex bf, and when we finally broke up I had a mini-meltdown so off to the shrink I went. He told me that sometimes in a relationship, when one person is accusing the other of infidelity or issues of the sort, it's usually because that same person might be the one who is straying from the relatioship. I'm not saying your hubby is cheating or anything, but you should def talk and ask him WHY he's acting the way he is and how unfair he is being to you. I hope you feel better girl! Hang in there.

[Ashley]

I am very sorry as well. I agree with Abby, give counseling a try. However, I must admit he doesn't sound like someone who would be willing to go in for counseling!

[Adrienne]

[quote=sooperficial;1419356]He told me that sometimes in a relationship, when one person is accusing the other of infidelity or issues of the sort, it's usually because that same person might be the one who is straying from the relatioship.[quote]

Sadly, been there done that. He cheated on me within the first 6 months of our marriage while i was pregnant. For almost 2 years he treated me like crap while hating himself. When i finally found out, i was of course devasted and but he changed. It was like he said, a huge guilt was lifted off and even though he knew he in the wrong, he wasn't alone in being the only one knowing what he did. I did forgive him but he has huge issues regarding this. His jealousy got worse and worse because he is insecure and thinks that i'll do the same. I won't but i still get the blame.

He used to mess around with alot of girls from before i met him and when we got together, he was faithful until that time. I knew something was going on but i never could catch him. My own self esteem was shot at the time since i was 17, pregnant, hormones going crazy so my dumb self stayed.

Abby, i tried to tell him to go to couseling but he doesn't want to. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink . He's an idiot. He claims that if we can't fix the problems then whats the point. I told him if he cant trust me and wont fix the issues himself, that's not my problem. I've tried so many different ways to help him and he still doesn't believe me or trust me.

[Tony(admin)]

he cheated on you and he's acting like that? wtf

[reesesilverstar]

Maybe you should explain to him that the counselor won't fix the issues for you. They just act as mediators and use suggestions to help you come to a mutual understanding. And you want to be in this for the long haul, so for this to work, do something out of the ordinary, trust you, and just go. You know, "I'm willing if you are." Just tell him you guys need an atmosphere where you can talk calmly, and there's somebody to let u know when it's getting out of hand, so you can start talking again, and listening too...

I wish you the best hun...

[MakeupByMonet]

he cheated on you and he's acting like that? wtf

my thoughts exactly!!! I do believe when a person accuses someone so much its because of what they themselves are doing but if he's already done it maybe its his guilty concience eating at him !!!! theres this one rap song called MEDICINE in it the man is accusing his girlfriend of cheating & getting him back for cheating on her & he says now he's tasting his own medicine but in the end she wasn't cheating & he states that "If your girl doesnt get you back eventually your guilty concience will" !!!!! hes probably just paranoid that you will do the same thing & he knows how much that would hurt him!! try to talk to him & make him listen & know your not doing him wrong!!

[jmgjmg623]

Originally Posted by sooperficial

He told me that sometimes in a relationship, when one person is accusing the other of infidelity or issues of the sort, it's usually because that same person might be the one who is straying from the relatioship. I'm not saying your hubby is cheating or anything, but you should def talk and ask him WHY he's acting the way he is and how unfair he is being to you. I hope you feel better girl! Hang in there.

I've heard that, as well and I agree with her on this one.

Oh wait, I didn't see your response. He cheated already? Hmm....not good at all. Interesting why you're still with him. Good luck!

[pinksugar]

he sounds like he's being a jerk.

I would def. consider counselling before I separated though. I hope everything works out chicken. Men are such A$$holes sometimes

[Annia]

I don't think he's being a jerk intentionally; I just think he has some issues. He is very insecure, so insecure it has really messed up the relationship. I have always heard that when people cheat it's not because of their spouse, but because of their own insecurities. You two can't work it out because neither of you are professionals (I am not saying you need to be one to work something out, but you've tried everything already), so the next step is to see a mediator. It could help you two come to terms. I'd suggest therapy on his own, and couple therapy.

[cheller]

counseling sounds good.

[Anthea]

I agree with everyone, you both need to see a professional. I don't think you can go though life like that, its not a healthy relationship as it is. I sure hope you can work it out and it gets better for you.

[pinksugar]

I agree with Annia.

I just wanted to add though, that it's not fair that his insecurities and what have you are damaging your relationship. I would sit down and have a serious talk about it before counselling, saying 'look, if this doesnt stop then I may very well leave. I'm happy to get counselling and sort it out but I cannot stay in the relationship if you continue with this behaviour.' - basically make him see that what he's doing is unfair.