[polaroidscene]

So this month makes it four months of being single...and i still talk to my ex he confuses the hell out of me he get jealous if he thinks im hooking up with other guys or hes telling me to go out on dates are to go hook up....he tells me he wants to have sex with me, and there was the whole i didn't hook up with that girl cause she wasn't you ordeal. Blah i dont like the thought of not talking to him because he was my best friend blehhhhhhhhhhhh i feel lame i wouldn't not go out on a date or anything lke that because of my ex but i just wish he would talk to me about what the hell is going on because i feel like i bug the shit out of him and when i say we dont have to talk anymore hes says no...one night he asked me to be open and honest with him and i told him that i missed him and he got all weird but that was awhile ago and we still talk and sometmes take trips down memory lane on webcams if you know what i meannnn. I honestly believe that my feelings for him will never go away and im also going to be moving to the same area as him for school and that always makes my mind wonder and think what if?

[pinksugar]

I feel like having that connection to him, you are unable to let go. I would suggest you stop talking to him but I know it is a lot more complex than that. Maybe start simply - block him for one week and see if it helps at all. It is natural to miss him but by talking to him you are simply reminding yourself of what you cannot have.

It seems to me, that while he does not want you for himself, he doesn't want anyone else to have you either, and as long as you are in contact with him, you are allowing him to stop you from becoming attracted to anyone else.

Put bluntly, if he really DIDN'T pash that girl because of you, why is he not with you? it sounds like a whole lot of bull to make you guilty.

I have actually been in this exact same situation and in the end I just had to cut them off because it was so painful for me to still talk to him when he wouldn't commit or completely break it off. It's unfair to yourself.

Once you stop talking, the feelings will go away and you will be more receptive to finding someone else.

Best of luck chicken, I don't know WHY they do this, but it seems to be a fairly common thing unfortunately! it WILL get better!

[KellyB]

I'm going to give you my honest thoughts on this so I hope you won't be offended but he is playing you like a violin. It sounds like the old "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either" BS. My first husband was a master manipulator with my emotions. He may have been your best friend at one time but he is no friend to you now. Is that how you would treat a friend? Keeping them confused and unsure of themselves. He is not doing this to you though. You are doing it to you. As unfair as that sounds, he only does what you allow him to get away with. Cut him loose. Anyone who truly loved you would not keep you torn up all the time. I know how hard it is. I speak from experience and it took me 10 years to finally say enough. It won't change either. He tells you that he can't have sex with someone else because she isn't you? Games, honey. He is going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. As harsh as this sounds, I am telling you the truth and if you let these behaviors continue to control your emotions, you are setting yourself up for what could be years of heartbreak. Take it from someone who has been through it all and came out of the other side. You can stay away and you can get through this. Believe me when I tell you that your feelings for him WILL go away at some point. I worshiped my ex-husband. As bad as he was to me, I loved him with all of my heart. I would have died for him. Now, he is just a bad memory. I wish you the best of luck and I know that if you decide to change this, it will get better but it's up to you.

[jessiej78]

Originally Posted by KellyB

I'm going to give you my honest thoughts on this so I hope you won't be offended but he is playing you like a violin. It sounds like the old "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either" BS. My first husband was a master manipulator with my emotions. He may have been your best friend at one time but he is no friend to you now. Is that how you would treat a friend? Keeping them confused and unsure of themselves. He is not doing this to you though. You are doing it to you. As unfair as that sounds, he only does what you allow him to get away with. Cut him loose. Anyone who truly loved you would not keep you torn up all the time. I know how hard it is. I speak from experience and it took me 10 years to finally say enough. It won't change either. He tells you that he can't have sex with someone else because she isn't you? Games, honey. He is going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. As harsh as this sounds, I am telling you the truth and if you let these behaviors continue to control your emotions, you are setting yourself up for what could be years of heartbreak. Take it from someone who has been through it all and came out of the other side. You can stay away and you can get through this. Believe me when I tell you that your feelings for him WILL go away at some point. I worshiped my ex-husband. As bad as he was to me, I loved him with all of my heart. I would have died for him. Now, he is just a bad memory. I wish you the best of luck and I know that if you decide to change this, it will get better but it's up to you.

Wow! This is excellent advice. I have been through much the same thing and I coudn't have said it better myself.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Great advice!!

[Carolyn]

You're getting great advice from the others.
After reading your post, it sounds like the two of you are still a couple, except you are allowing him to treat you poorly.

You need to slap a HUGE boundary on this guy - meaning, avoid him at all cost. Then maybe you'll actually be free of him.
You'll be available to someone else that will treat you with the respect you deserve.

[luxotika]

I agree with all of the above!

[MissMissy]

Hey, I dont think where you guys are is going to get anybetter, You guys need to sit down and see where its going. Cause its not fair to you or him to play with each others heart and mind.

[PrettyFlowers]

Originally Posted by KellyB

I'm going to give you my honest thoughts on this so I hope you won't be offended but he is playing you like a violin. It sounds like the old "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either" BS. My first husband was a master manipulator with my emotions. He may have been your best friend at one time but he is no friend to you now. Is that how you would treat a friend? Keeping them confused and unsure of themselves. He is not doing this to you though. You are doing it to you. As unfair as that sounds, he only does what you allow him to get away with. Cut him loose. Anyone who truly loved you would not keep you torn up all the time. I know how hard it is. I speak from experience and it took me 10 years to finally say enough. It won't change either. He tells you that he can't have sex with someone else because she isn't you? Games, honey. He is going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear. As harsh as this sounds, I am telling you the truth and if you let these behaviors continue to control your emotions, you are setting yourself up for what could be years of heartbreak. Take it from someone who has been through it all and came out of the other side. You can stay away and you can get through this. Believe me when I tell you that your feelings for him WILL go away at some point. I worshiped my ex-husband. As bad as he was to me, I loved him with all of my heart. I would have died for him. Now, he is just a bad memory. I wish you the best of luck and I know that if you decide to change this, it will get better but it's up to you.

Amazing and so right!

[Faith-Abigail]

I completely agree with what everyone else has said. You're not going to be able to move on unless you cut him off completely and make a fresh start. All the best, love...