[LittleMissLilo]

So as I've told you all before I'm seeing this guy. I've been seeing him for about a year and 9 months, so almost two years. Things are going great, you know after that whole incident I talked to him about his x gf. Remember when I told you all that? Well if you dont' remember, I had asked for advice on the boards on how do you get rid of an x gf because she kept calling him and stuff and it was bugging me...


Well in other news.
I came home last night, only to find two emails on my myspace inbox. One from my friend in highschool, and the other from his x gf. I was in complete shock.

When I opened the email I read it out loud to myself and I couldn't believe what it said. She wrote that she still loved my bf, and that she cares for him deeply. In fact she thought that as a girl I should know about this because she always feels guilty. It was like her good deed for the day to report to me. And she told me that suposedly she and him have been seeing each other for a year and half behind their significant other's backs. (She did have a bf when my bf and I were dating, but he left her). She told me that my bf always tells her how great of a gf I am and it makes her feel more guilty. And then she said I should ask my bf and if he doesnt tell me the truth then obviously hes lying.

But how can this be true? How do I know if its true? I'm so confused on weather I should believe her or if I should believe whatever my bf tells me. I dont trust her, but now I dont trust him? I just don't understand? At all. I've been in this confused state all night as of last night.

Oh and I forgot to mention, she has a reputation to go around with people. She was never like that but suposedly after her and my bf split, she changed her ways. She's known for a buncha stuff, really. And its so rude of her to do that. But it was a bit out of the blue also, because I've never talked to her in my life. =[

So please MUT help! I need some advice.
Oh and I haven't told him about the email because I need to figure some things out before I approach him.
I don't know how really.

[bia910]

oh god when i read that my own stomach turned into a knot because i know exactly how you feel. Im sorry i cant advise you anything but i wish everything turns out the best for you.

[bella1342]

I think you have to tell him about it right away... maybe I'm wrong, but I think you'd be able to tell right away if he were lying to you. That is one huge lie to keep. Maybe he'll even admit it. Personally, if it happened to me that person would have to be gone. No matter how long I was with him or how much I love him. Cheating is one thing I can't tolerate. If he tells you the girl is lying.. tell him he has to confront her in front of you. I am really sorry this is happening to you... I hope it works out. Keep us posted.

[LittleMissLilo]

Originally Posted by bia910

oh god when i read that my own stomach turned into a knot because i know exactly how you feel. Im sorry i cant advise you anything but i wish everything turns out the best for you.

Thanks me too! I barely slept. =[

Originally Posted by bella1342

I think you have to tell him about it right away... maybe I'm wrong, but I think you'd be able to tell right away if he were lying to you. That is one huge lie to keep. Maybe he'll even admit it. Personally, if it happened to me that person would have to be gone. No matter how long I was with him or how much I love him. Cheating is one thing I can't tolerate. If he tells you the girl is lying.. tell him he has to confront her in front of you. I am really sorry this is happening to you... I hope it works out. Keep us posted.

Thats what I was thinking. That he should confront her in front of me, just so I can see both sides of the story in front of my face for myself! I really hope this all is just a joke on me or something

[GlossyAbby]

I would def. confront him. Also may want to let her boyfriend know if this is true doesnt seem fair to him or you...

[bia910]

Originally Posted by bella1342

I think you have to tell him about it right away... maybe I'm wrong, but I think you'd be able to tell right away if he were lying to you. That is one huge lie to keep. Maybe he'll even admit it. Personally, if it happened to me that person would have to be gone. No matter how long I was with him or how much I love him. Cheating is one thing I can't tolerate. If he tells you the girl is lying.. tell him he has to confront her in front of you. I am really sorry this is happening to you... I hope it works out. Keep us posted.

I think what Bella suggested is a good idea. I highly doubt he'll be able to lie to you to your face like that. If it turns out she made it all up, you need to tell her to get over the past, that he's YOUR man now, and she needs to respect that. Good Luck!

[love2482]

Well, you are going to have to ask him. I hope it isn't true, but if he still talks to her, it is likely. Confront him, ask him to be honest. You don't want to be in a one-sided relationship. You don't deserve that!!

[Carolyn]

I am really sorry this has happened to you. I would be very angry and unable to sleep if it had occured to me.

If this were me, I would confront both of them at the same time. Because, if you ask him, of course he is going to deny everything.
If you talk to her, she will only reinforce her email.

This situation has to be put to bed so that you can feel good that you are getting the real truth - not just his truth.

Whatever you do, do not let her know that the three of you are going to discuss this situation. If he is fooling around with her, she will warn him.

If she has been lying to you, then she will backtrack and deny ever sending you the email - saying a friend was only playing a prank.

This requires getting the two of them together unsuspectingly and demanding the truth. Make sure you have a copy of the email to show him, at the meeting.
And make sure you have a friend nearby, that can observe the two of them, so that they can offer some objectivity when you have to make any decisions.

Hope things go well for you honey.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Originally Posted by Carolyn

I am really sorry this has happened to you. I would be very angry and unable to sleep if it had occured to me.

If this were me, I would confront both of them at the same time. Because, if you ask him, of course he is going to deny everything.
If you talk to her, she will only reinforce her email.

This situation has to be put to bed so that you can feel good that you are getting the real truth - not just his truth.

Whatever you do, do not let her know that the three of you are going to discuss this situation. If he is fooling around with her, she will warn him.

If she has been lying to you, then she will backtrack and deny ever sending you the email - saying a friend was only playing a prank.

This requires getting the two of them together unsuspectingly and demanding the truth. Make sure you have a copy of the email to show him, at the meeting.
And make sure you have a friend nearby, that can observe the two of them, so that they can offer some objectivity when you have to make any decisions.

Hope things go well for you honey.

Great idea, but a tall order. How will she be able to get them together at the same time? I think she's a mean, nasty person...Lilo, I'm sorry you are going through this, I hope it works out for you. I don't have a better idea than either Carolyn (who always has great ideas) or Bella (who is also good in this department).

[Carolyn]

How could she get them together - that is a good question.

When I was writing the first post, I was thinking of a bar or some kind of social gathering. Maybe a third party could help with getting the girl to the right place, to be confronted.

If this were me I would be as aggressive as possible to get to the bottom of things. And his word would not cut it.

[LittleMissLilo]

Originally Posted by Carolyn

How could she get them together - that is a good question.

When I was writing the first post, I was thinking of a bar or some kind of social gathering. Maybe a third party could help with getting the girl to the right place, to be confronted.

If this were me I would be as aggressive as possible to get to the bottom of things. And his word would not cut it.

That is a good idea, but I'm a passive person. LOL I'm definitely not able to do that. I'd be so scared! =[

[pretty_pink13]

Yeah thats a lot of drama, she sounds like a lot of drama, is she the kind of person that likes to stir things up?? Maybe she is trying to start something between the two of you...like break you guys up or something.

Sorry, I tend to think about the worst in people, its just my nature...

I would try to talk to him about it and see what he says and if your gut feeling is that he really is messing around on you with her, well then I would have a serious talk and maybe re-think your relationship.

But then again, she might be a malicious b**** and she just wants to ruin a good thing...but then again she might be right...but how many people have confronted someone about cheating with them??? I know I haven't, if I was messing around with someone who I knew had a gf, (which I never would by the way, this is all hypothetical) would I be an angel and just tell her??? So...she can be on my side and then tag team against him for whatever reason?? Sounds like that one movie, john tucker must die...

anyways...sorry I was babbling...

Just talk to him about it....and keep us posted!!!!

[yello]

i believe that you should... confront him.. and do not wait to long cause its gonna eat you up. .. and then you might just let it go and you dont want to do that... i would say to show him the email and have him right after that call the girl right infront of you......ON SPEAKER and see what he says to her or she says to him

[Faith-Abigail]

Personally, I think you should talk to him about it in person. Bringing a crazy ex-girlfriend into the situation never helps anything. So far, he hasn't given you any reason to distrust him...so just ask him straight up..."Hey, I got an email from your crazy ex who says you guys have been cheating for the last year and a half and as your faithful loving girlfriend I deserve to know the truth." My husband has a crazy ex who tried to pull the same bullsh!t (albeit not as cleverly) and while her lies were a little more transparent I understand what you're going through. Just get everything out in the open, be honest with him, and hopefully he'll do the same with you...if you allow her email to get in between the two of you and cause you to distrust your boyfriend then her plan will work.

Hopefully, this is all a sick prank that she's playing and everything can return to normal. I'll be thinking about you and I hope everything turns out okay. Keep us updated. Hugs.