[TOOFACED]

i cant tell anyone what im going through because they get really worried and overprotective!! i can't get over my ex!!! he was perfect for me and losing him has me back in addiction =( im starting to abuse speed pills,drinking A LOT, and im starting not to eat again,i didnt want to face this reality but its come back to haunt me!!! no one understands me,ive been trying soo hard to forget but im back to square one

[kaylin_marie]

I understand, and I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I know what it feels like to lose someone and feel totally lost. And everyone says it'll pass and just stay busy and blah blah, but you just feel like they don't know what you're going through and no one understands and you just dont know what to do. My love and I ended up finding our way back to each other, so unfortunately I don't really know how to really get through it, because It wasn't a forever thing for me. I know there's really nothing to say to help, and I know you've probably heard it before, but nothing is worth hurting yourself over. And not eating and taking drugs is hurting yourself. Like they say the best thing you can do is try to find things to do to always be occupying your time and take your mind off of things. And yes it is much easier said then done. Because no matter what you're doing most of the time that person is still in your thoughts. But as time goes by the thoughts get further into the back of your head. It's like getting off a drug....its hard. It gets easier after a while, and then you relapse. But the relapses get fewer and farther apart and eventually stop. If you have close friends and people you have fun with (not doing drugs and drinking all the time) spend as much time with them as you can. I found that was the best medicine of all for me. Being around people that loved me and made me laugh kept my mind off of him...but then when I went home alone he was all I thought about. So another thing you have to do is learn to love spending time with just yourself. I started sewing and painting constantly when I wasn't working or with friends. Hope I helped a little, and if you need anyone to talk to send me a pm, I'm here all the time!!

[pinksugar]

I'm so sorry to hear that

honestly though, there are people who understand, and have experienced the same as you. When one of my bf's and i split up, I felt like I would die, the emotional pain was almost physical. I know how hard it is, but what you have to remember is that you're not defined by your relationships - you have to stop seeing yourself as your ex's ex, or as you were in the past as their partner.

Once you see yoursself as completely unconnected to them in any way you will begin to heal and move on, but it takes time, you can't rush it and of course you're going to backslide now and then - maybe many, many times. But you're worth more than him, and you can do this!

we're all here for you at MUT. As K says, if you need to talk, we're all here whenever you need us - you're not alone!

[SweetLatina]

I'm so sorry to hear about that....I went through a similiar experience except didn't use drugs. I know for the first few months it will be tough. What I did was vent to my friends and kept myself busy. I know there will be things that will remind you of him. There are plenty of fish out in the sea. Go have fun with your friends, start a new hobby or try to keep yourself busy. In no time you'll won't be thinking about him.

[love2482]

Oh honey I am so sorry. I have been where you are at. After breaking up with my first love, I turned to alcohol. WRONG choice. I know you probably don't want to hear it, but time is the only cure. I hope things turn out better for you.

[S. Lisa Smith]

All good advice! We are here for you!

[AprilRayne]

Oh wow! I'm so sorry you're going through this! I went through a divorce so I know how it feels! Please don't do anything to harm yourself, instead try to make yourself a better person so you'll be the best you can be for when the right person comes along! Just remember he is just a person, there are millions of them so someone even better will come along!

[beaglette]

Let me tell you where I'm coming from before anyone gets ticked at me for what I'm about to say.

I've been in in-patient rehab. I've been in outpatient rehab. I was an alcoholic and addicted to pills and pain patches (I used to chew Oxycontin by the handfuls and wear 8 duragesic patches at a time-- that's lethal, btw). Everyone can tell you how bad it is for you and how you are destroying your life. But, guess what? It's meaningless.

You know as well as I do you have to hit your rock bottom before you decide to change. No amount of prodding from anyone is going to change anything.

Get yourself to a meeting, even if you are drunk or high at the time. Just don't drive there, of course, if you ARE drunk or high. Those people understand-- don't say they don't. I understand. I understand alllll too well. They aren't going to judge you, even if you are using your DOC when you attend PROVIDED you want to get sober.

I nor anyone else can tell you what your rock bottom is but you'll know when you hit it. And then hopefully you'll decide to get some help.

I don't mean to sound harsh-- trust me, I have had my share and someone else's share of tough times and I thought the bottles were the answer. They never did anything for me except make things worse. And you can't stay high and wasted your whole life. Eventually you either die or come to your senses and hopefully the latter happens before the former. But, guess what? When you're done with getting high continually and escaping your present reality you are still faced with the same thing you are now, you've just delayed dealing with it: your present reality.

Know that we are here for you but I'm not going to pity you because it's not going to do you or any addict any good. You have admitted you are spiraling. And, I'm certain you know how to get it under control. The question is, are you going to do it?

Warmly,

Brandi

[polaroidscene]

When my ex and i broke up i couldn't eat or sleep i couldnt eat more than a bite..i feel the same why that hes perfect ofr me and we compliament eachother so well...but there is not point in being negatve because if its meant to be then it will work out..but it was bad i still feel sad over it but it does start to get better