[brewgrl]

This morning I was thinking my husband was the greatest thing in the world... tonight I am trying to figure out how the hell I am going to spend another minute with him, let alone the rest of my life...

I am the type of person who LIVES to be in the angry moment, so all i want to do right now is be mad, sleep on the couch, and wake up still totally mad, and maybe spend the day *****ing about married life to single friends and scare them out of even thinking about being in a relationship.

How it got to this point is totally irrelevant because it happens all the time, and it happens all the time because people living together are not spectacular puzzle pieces who fit perfectly in some magical way. If you are shaking your head and you tell me you live this perfect dream, I will call you out and your growing nose.

My issues are the way we handle our arguments.

Men have testosterone issues I will never understand... What is the deal with getting angry and feeling the need to make noise and break stuff, ie punch a wall or throw a lawn chair or throw your cell phone? I understand that it's some sort of make need to release but come on... and I know it's not just my husband, I know it's 95% of all men who pull this Neanderthal crap.

And since I am a woman, and a very *****y one when angered, I like to PICK at it and make snide comments and openly calculated remarks to piss him off further, because it makes me feel better and like I am on top and that snide rude comments are above the physical need to break cell phones.

Love and marriage... goes together like a horse and carriage.

Now you tell me what friggin horse thinks it's so wonderful to haul a friggin carriage for it's entire life??? yep, that song lyric is COMPLETELY right.


oh, yeah... this will pass, but right now, like i said, i want to live in the anger...

[pinksugar]

oh man, that is exactly how I felt last night when my bf was coming to pick me up so I'd had a cocktail and then he thought I was going to make him wait outside the restaurant for 40 minutes but I wasn't and he said he was going home leaving me stuck with the car I wasn't able to drive because of the alcohol. Lots of yelling went on but we sorted it out

being angry is almost as good as making up once you feel good about the person again

[GlossyAbby]

haha totally been there..... sometimes you love them sometimes you want to kick their butt!

[Darla_G]

Ladies, all this anger? i always thought that was more of a male attribute :-)

the argument styles are different aren't they? women seem to hate it when you won't engage and take the silent tact.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Really!

[Maysie]

Haha I've felt this way sooo many times. It's strange how you can love them so much one minute and then later in the same day they can do something that has the ability to anger you for days. For me its worse when he shuts down and refuses to talk it out. Not like throwing things is ever good!

[sue23]

I love that show married with children.

Yes living with some one is a pain my boyfriend and I are the same way.

I hear ya honey!

[Sarah84]

Oh im so glad im not alone

[Jessica]

Originally Posted by brewgrl

And since I am a woman, and a very *****y one when angered, I like to PICK at it and make snide comments and openly calculated remarks to piss him off further, because it makes me feel better and like I am on top and that snide rude comments are above the physical need to break cell phones.

I do the same exact thing!! I pick snide comments that I know push his buttons to push him further.


oh, yeah... this will pass, but right now, like i said, i want to live in the anger...

The funny thing is....when we fight he can let go of it almost instantly. It will maybe take him 10 minutes tops. Me? I wanna hold onto it and live in my anger sometimes into the next day. We had something like that this weekend. He wakes up to me all "Good morning honey" and i'm like "Hello???? I am still mad about lastnight" Eventually I let it go when IM READY TO....Grrrr men

[pinksugar]

haha, you guys have it spot on!

I do agree that female argument styles is different from men's.

My boyfriend also shuts down and won't engage.. it makes me even MORE angry!

Jen, did you let go yet? or are you still irritated?

[Kookie-for-COCO]

Men are not o the same planet as womqn

[~ Belle ~]

Pfft... I left my husband, home town, financial security, my house... because I will not accept that yelling, swearing, put downs etc are normal marriage behaviour!!
My one yr old son and I are now happier than ever!

[kaylin_marie]

I used to be like that really bad whenever I was mad at anyone. I could stay mad for days. But whenever I had someone very close to me die I got a big shock of "you never know what could happen tomorrow". So I try really really hard now to not hold grudges or be mad for long periods of time. We argue all the time but I always make it a point to try and make up either before we go to sleep or before one of us leaves the house...just because you never know. I also try to look at it like lifes too short to be mad all the time.

[bella1342]

Originally Posted by kaylin_marie

I used to be like that really bad whenever I was mad at anyone. I could stay mad for days. But whenever I had someone very close to me die I got a big shock of "you never know what could happen tomorrow". So I try really really hard now to not hold grudges or be mad for long periods of time. We argue all the time but I always make it a point to try and make up either before we go to sleep or before one of us leaves the house...just because you never know. I also try to look at it like lifes too short to be mad all the time.

I was the same way, but I'm like you now. I lost too many people in my life to be mad about everything.

It is difficult living with someone... sometimes I feel I can't spend another minute in this house and relationship. Then a few hours later I'll be so happy and in love. I think that's a lot of relationships though.

I totally hear ya Jen about guys throwing/punching things during arguments. It is SO silly... is it that they just think it is a macho thing to do? I'm similar there too... I'll just sit back and make my snide remarks. The difference is, I can't go to bed angry. It eats at me.

Jen, I'm sure you'll be in love and thinking your hubby is the greatest guy ever before you go to bed tonight.

[brewgrl]

End of the scenario- I can't sleep on the couch... It's totally a husband thing to do, hahahah... I like my bed too much.

totally forgot I was upset until I called my husband randomly on his way to work to tell him that i love him... and then after I hung up, i thought, "wait, I was all about being mad for awhile..."

Blaze doesnt put me down. we are pretty good at keeping some level of dignity... I assume that's why men like to throw small things or hit at doors and walls and tabletops- to release before they say or do something incredibly hurtful to something or someone other than themselves (the part i never understand- now you have to get another phone, you sprained your pinky, you did something stupid to yourself)

even my snide remarks are just jabs of sarcasm and mild condescension with the "Super Glare" that all women have in themselves, hahaha.

He made cookies today, and now he's back to being the greatest husband again. So I feel like I won (not really sure at what) but still, he made cookies, and I ate them.