[PrettyFlowers]

Something happen to me yesterday that it reminded me about my first long term relationship and in the past it proved that I have delt with it correctly, because my x-bf was cheating on me.

With my current situation, I know he is not cheating (I don't see other signs), but here is the situation, and I wondering if this has happen to you and how do you deal with it.

When I asked my SO if we could visit a cousin of mine earlier this week which he agreed to.
The day that we were suppose to go (after I finished work) I call him (as I normally do) to say that I'm on my way home and to come and pick me up.
This time, he was not there. I called his cell, he was not answering. It got to the point that I jumped to the conclusion that he stood me up.
An hour and a half later, he calls me.
I was so upset and told him so. It put me in a difficult situation, because my cousin had no idea why I was so late.

My SO did have a reason and so did my x-bf, but this shook me to the bone, because of my past experience with my x-bf.

Anyway, I called my cousin two hours later and he wasn't home. Either he forgot or went out because I did call as soon as I was leaving home at an expected time.

With your long term relationship, has this happen to you? How did you deal with it?
Is it possible that this is a sign that my SO is not as serious about our relationship as I have thought otherwise?

[mariascreek]

i think that you should not jump to any conclusions yet. but that you should pay more attention to how he treats you. this could be mean but maybe if you put him in the same situation how would he act?

[Darla_G]

so what do you think you want to do first?

[PrettyFlowers]

I have accepted his apology and for me being upset really got his attention. I basically told him that I thought I was being stood-up. I may have overeacted, but that was only because of my past experience.

I've have heard co-workers complain that their husband don't always come home and they do get suspicious, because their reasons are just too good or not good enough. I think also hearing from other girls, it made me wonder what was going on.

I want to give my bf lots of freedom to do whatever he wants, I just want good communication and in this case, it was not. It never occured to him to give me a call when he was out so long and past our agreement when we will meet (which was basically right after work)

[coocoo4coco]

Originally Posted by PrettyFlowers

I have accepted his apology and for me being upset really got his attention. I basically told him that I thought I was being stood-up. I may have overeacted, but that was only because of my past experience.

I've have heard co-workers complain that their husband don't always come home and they do get suspicious, because their reasons are just too good or not good enough. I think also hearing from other girls, it made me wonder what was going on.

I want to give my bf lots of freedom to do whatever he wants, I just want good communication and in this case, it was not. It never occured to him to give me a call when he was out so long and past our agreement when we will meet (which was basically right after work)

I'm no expert, but one thing really strikes me regarding this. Why couldn't he call to let you know what was happening and what the delay was? And "a husband (or wife) not coming home" is inexcusable - unless of course he's 1. taken to the hospital; 2. taken to the morgue; or 3. is going to be put there shortly by his wife BECAUSE he didn't come home the day before! This is totally inexcusable behavior - I don't care what excuse they give. There is NOTHING that can explain that away for me.

I agree with giving your significant other "lots of freedom to do whatever he wants" - It is a very good indicator of their character. He/she should WANT to let you know where he is so you won't be concerned or worried and they should treat you at all times with the same respect that they'd expect to be treated. Sometimes people need to be reminded of this.

I wish you well and hopefully he'll learn from this and become more sensitive to you!

Big hugs to you,
CooCoo