Valentines Day Roses- Need Advice ASAP

flychick767 · 02-13-2008, 07:08 AM

One of my best guy friends just called me and needed some advice about what to get his wife tomorrow for V-Day.

They have been having problems for the past year or so. And because they have 2 little children, they have stayed together, but he has no love at all for her, and he does not really know what her feelings are towards him. He says that she really has no love for him either. They never say they love each other anymore. He basically feels as if they are just roommates and parents to the children. They have discussed getting divorced or separated, but don't want to because of the children.

They have only had sex one time in the past year and a half, and have absolutly no intimacy at all. ( We have known each other for 20 years, and can talk about anything, which is why I know this)

He knows he has to at least get her flowers/roses, but what kind. He said that in the paper today, he read that red roses mean love ( which he says he really does not feel love for her) and pink roses mean appreciation or sweetness ( which he appreciates how good a mother she is, and the fact that they are still nice to each other for sake of the children).

I told him I would get the advice of some of my girlfriends and let him know.

What do I tell him? I still think that the only roses that should be given on Valentines day are red roses, but I also don't want him to come across to her as a hippocrate.

Thanks

***Saja*** · 02-13-2008, 07:21 AM

Id say get a mix boquet of roses. If she knows what the colors mean, it could just start trouble to get either red or pink. If she doesnt know the difference, then it doesnt matter. If he gets a mix, then he can play it off like he dindt know what the colors meant either. Best to avoid trouble and get an arrangement.

***Nick007*** · 02-13-2008, 07:22 AM

How about half and half, red can mean he loves her for being the mother of his kids and pink for the appreciation.

***Jennifer*** · 02-13-2008, 07:24 AM

pink's the way to go or why not other ones besides roses? does she have a favorite?

kayleigh83 · 02-13-2008, 11:05 AM

I'd say advise him to get her a big mixed bouquet of all sorts of flowers, so no specific meaning can be interpreted from it other than, "Here are some flowers".

***Ashley*** · 02-13-2008, 11:22 AM

Is she really the type that analyzes the color of the roses given to her? My BF gives me different colored roses all the time, depending on what color I like. I think since he is already married to her, and they're kind of openly discussing the separation, I don't think he really has to worry about sending the wrong message with colored roses.

***bella1342*** · 02-13-2008, 11:54 AM

The roses should be from him and the kids in my opinion. I think a bouquet of flowers mixed with a half of dozen red roses would be nice, because you'll find that the flowers will last a lot longer than the dozen of roses. Plus if the kids names are on the card, obviously red roses would be fine. I think red roses are fine regardless... I go by what color roses I like, and not what they mean.

***pinksugar*** · 02-13-2008, 01:13 PM

maybe cut out all the dramas and get white roses, which mean fidelity?

LOL.

I don't think it will really matter what colour he gets her - I mean, this doesn't sound like an attempt to be loving toward her, more like a 'I need to get a gift because it's valentines day' thing - in which case, red would be fine. He can always claim he didn't know the meanings.

if they really do feel like just room mates then she will most probably be surprised to get any flowers at all, so I don't think she will be particularly bothered by the colour..

AppleRose · 02-13-2008, 01:51 PM

Red...and a big bouqet at that!

***S. Lisa Smith*** · 02-13-2008, 06:54 PM

When I get Carol roses, I go to a wholesale place and get the most exotic roses I can find. There are two toned, peach colored, white and many more. I like to get those because they are different. She appreciates them no matter what the colors are. That being said, she'll get red tomorrow.

***brewgrl*** · 02-13-2008, 09:23 PM

First why must one HAVE to get someone flowers? Together or not together, it's thoughtless and patronizing in my opinion to get flowers that someone felt obliged to give.

I would rather the father of my children work with them to help them come up with something that expresses THEIR TRUE feelings towards me. And I would know that the effort that their father did in doing something like that was one of respect as opposed to anything more trite.

flychick767 · 02-18-2008, 05:44 AM

Thanks everyone. I wanted to give an update. He ended up getting her the red roses. He said that everyone else in the store were getting red, so that is what he did. She did seem to appreciate them from what he said.

I just wish I could be more of a friend and help him through all of this. But I know that this is something that they will need to work out. From what I understand, they want to try to make things work out (even though they know that they will probably never be in love with each other again) just for the kids. I don't know if that is the best thing or not, but I have to accept what they think is best for them.