[brewgrl]

This is specifically for non-parent teens or adults. As a parent, I think you immediately start planning how you want to raise your child in order for him/her to become the best person they can become... and in doing so, a lot of the things you said to yourself "I'll never do that when I become a parent", you start doing, because you sort of forget what it was like to be a young growing person with their own identity.
So here's the question:
What to do wish your parents did less/more of in your life that you want to share with other parents so that they don't make the same mistake?
It's hard to actually say this stuff to your own parents because, lets face it- parents think they are already doing their best, and we take it personal when we hear we are doing things that could be done better. It's easier getting advice from young people when they aren't our own young people!!! and at the same time, I think it's easier to give the advice as well, because you aren't being judged by your own parents for your critique.

[StereoXGirl]

My parents always let me know when I did something wrong, but never addressed when I did anything good...it was just expected. Even throughout my high school years. I wish they would have praised me more when I did things "right". Even if they were little things.

[Adrienne]

I'm a parent but i'm still a kid so I'm still going to answer. I wish my parents had trusted me more as oppose to how they were raised. Boys could go out with whomever but girls were to be home by a certain hour, be able to be contacted at all times and always have a "supervisor." I hate the fact that when i lived at home i could never do anything or hang out with a friend when i wanted to but my brothers been allowed to do whatever since he was 15!!!!

I guess what i really hated was the double standard that was inflicted on me. My parents have been good about erasing that obvious line for us but as soon as i hit puberty they didnt know what to do with me. My older sister had no problems as she was very shy but i was very outgoing and they didnt know how to "deal" with it, whatever that means. I moved out at 16 and although my problems are now bigger (but not necessarily worse) i never would've moved out if i felt that i had had the freedom i felt i deserved. I was a straight A student since day one all through high school (i literally got a 100 for the whole year in algebra in the ninth grade!!) i never got in trouble at school, i didn't even have to be told to do my homework or study but yet i felt like i didnt get what i had earned.

Its like they would point out the bad (i was never good at doing all my chores but i did them) but at least they had no problems when it came to my school like they did with my younger brothers! I was never really rewarded for that but oh well. I guess that would be the couple things i would change.

[SimplyElegant]

One of my parents was too tough. If I got 95 on a test, the question was why couldn't I get a 96 etc. Tough love doesn't work for everyone and it didn't work for me.

[Ashley]

I wish they didn't shelter me as much. I think that would've really changed my personality and I'd be more extroverted, out-going, independent, etc.

[CellyCell]

That they raised each one of us differently... I guess that's what sucks about being the oldest child, learn from their mistake I guess?

My youngest sister never had been spanked ass a kid, was never yelled a lot like I was - got more things her age then I did and freedom, plus they put her in extracurricular activities and I was never in one unless I signed myself up in school. We got our own cellphone at the same time, I just had to pay for mine while she abused her privileges. When I go in to complain, they never really say much... they take it as a joke... now I lash out more in frustration because she got a much easier life then I ever, ever did.
You can tell our personalities apart (me and my sister) because she's more confident than I am and it's a result of our upbringing.

I believe there is a certain age where you need to stop speaking to your child as a kid - around the time when they pay they're own things/move out/have kids/get married is that time. I know a lot of parents who are just as controlling to their 23 year old kid as they were when they were 15 years old.

Definitely doing a lot more activities and outings as a family... those build memories, and when you only do it once a year - it just sucks that you know one specific memory from each year as oppose to many for the year.

[*Melody*]

Originally Posted by Ashley

I wish they didn't shelter me as much. I think that would've really changed my personality and I'd be more extroverted, out-going, independent, etc.

Same for me.

I also wish that they had let me do extracurricular activities. I wanted to do gymnastics, ballet, and play the violin when I was 8 but they never let me. Even in high school, they were opposed to me being a part of clubs and such.

It's so much different with my younger sister though. They're giving her much more freedom at her age than what I ever got.

[Ashley]

Originally Posted by CellyCell

My youngest sister never had been spanked ass a kid

LOL sorry, but I thought that was funny.

I think this is really interesting to read. Do you think most people will succeed in doing things they saw their parents doing and swore to never do themselves? I know sometimes people try really hard but they end up kinda like their parents anyway.

[brewgrl]

OMG- I feel like my husband is going the route of his father... speaks in very harsh tones when Maverick is doing something wrong, and blames being too tired from work to spend the type for quality time that I think Maverick should get, especially since he is in daycare all day.
I am also slightly freaked out about how I will be towards Maverick as he gets older, because my mom is currently staying with us for the summer, and she is so overcritical that she has given me a slight inferiority complex... which is a remarkable feat because most of the time, I think I'm pretty spectacular! hahaha

[CellyCell]

Originally Posted by Ashley

LOL sorry, but I thought that was funny.

I think this is really interesting to read. Do you think most people will succeed in doing things they saw their parents doing and swore to never do themselves? I know sometimes people try really hard but they end up kinda like their parents anyway.

A-S-ASS? haha, inside joke with my sister because she meant to only spell it, not say it.