[|<33]

This topic came up in the racism thread and I thought that a thread about the prejudice/stereotyping against both "Skinny" and "Fat" people would be a good idea!

I grew up thin and most of my friends were bigger than me. None of them were morbidly obese. All of them were beautiful. They all also seemed to think it was ok to put me down constantly, to the point where I had some Body Dysmorphic Disorder going on; I thought I was way thinner than I actually was.

I felt so bad for my larger friends for the taunts they sometimes received that I spent a lot of energy trying to make them feel better about themselves. I reassured them constantly about their looks. None of them should have needed reassurance, they were beautiful, imo. I seriously am a kickass friend when it comes to support! lol

It got to the point though that it seemed like I was always saying "I need to gain weight" or "You're so lucky you've got curves" etc and all I ever got in return was crap. I was making them feel good but all I felt was crappy. I thought I was skeletal. I ate and ate and ate, desperately hoping to put on even a few pounds, to be accepted.

Just this year I gave that up. It was my New Year's Resolution. I decided to just be happy and healthy. My body is beautiful just like everyone else's. I don't treat it like a trash can any more. My friends can deal with their issues in their own way. I won't stop supporting them, but I also won't be their whipping post.

What I noticed too was that the prejudice was very accepted. Thin people should be able to put up with barbs and insults because apparently we're supposed to be just so grateful to be "skinny" that nothing else matters! You should hear the way people react when I complain about this whole thing by the way . . . I get enough dirty looks for being thin as it is but now I get the "oh poor little skinny girl" eye-roll crap. Grr.

Anyway, that's all for now I guess! I'd like to hear what other people have to say because I know there is a lot of prejudice on both sides of the fence . . . I just can't help but wonder why people can't just accept themselves and everyone else for who and what they are!

[Carolyn]

I have been on both sides of the spectrum.
The most hurtful insults always came from young men. For some of these idiots, they think they have the god given right to tell a female what they think of her body.

They'll tell a slim girl to eat a porkchop. They'll tell an overweight girl to "Free Willy". And they tell any girl what they think of her sexually.

Thanks for letting me rant...

[|<33]

Hey, no prob! I always rant about this issue! People can be so hurtful! Ugh!

[beaglette]

If there had to be prejudice in the world, why not making it something WORTHWHILE like stupidity, ignorance, etc.? Why something as superficial as weight???

Funny that you mention Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I have the same thing-- I see myself as wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fatter than I am. Or maybe not? I always make comments like "my fat butt", "sit my fat self down", "wait let me cover up my rolls before you take that picture!" "don't get my fat butt in that picture" and things of that nature. I will always consider myself fat-- I even see myself as 500 lbs. still. I can't get it out of my head. I even do "fat stuff" like making sure the toilet stall is big enough to maneuver around, making sure the arms of a chair are wide enough to fit me, making sure the space between the booth and the table in the restaurant is big enough and I've recently stopped bending over like a fat girl after I became aware that I was doing it.

And why do fat/thin people feel this way? Because of the way society forces its collective "standards" on others.

I say phooey!

Warmly,

Brandi

[pinksugar]

this is very true, my sister used to be very thin naturally, but she'd constantly be getting nasty comments, the one which horrified me the most was when she was walking to the bathroom in a restaurant and someone said as she passed 'she's probably going to throw it all up now'

I think with so many people being overweight, it has become more accepted, and saying rude things about fat people is seen as more nasty than comments about thin people, as you said!

I really try not to make comments about either fat or thin people, but if I know they can't hear me... well I'll be honest. I might think something nasty that is weight based if i don't like something else about them - like their personality or whatever. I wouldn't do that within their hearing though, I really do try not to say things that would hurt peoples feelings as a general rule. A little rude thinking is ok occasionally though, right?

[Andi]

I absolutely hate weight prejudices. I was stick skinny until I "filled in" in late puberty. And now I´m still borderline underweight according to my BMI, but I don´t look underweight or anything anymore. I think of myself as "curvey skinny" lol
Most of my extended family ranges from slightly overweight to obese. I was constantly teased as a child, and now still am. They make comments like "How are you ever gonna get a boyfriend, guys like a big chest and some curves" and "Oh I bet all you young girls do is count calories all day". So apparently they think I live off Tic Tacs, so they constantly offer me food. They literally stuff me, which I love though, I love to eat.

Even though I have never been fat and probably never will be, and even though I have few overweight friends...I still hate the way some people talk about overweight people. I even don´t like to use the word "fat" because it has such a negative tone to it. The word "fat" goes in hand with being lazy, and eating junk all day...at least that´s what´s IMO being associated with it.
And being in med school I have even heard a lot of doctors talk badly about overweight people behind their backs. That´s really worrying, imagine you´re overweight and very self conscious about it and now on top of everyone else you also have to worry about your doctor talking trash about you as soon as you´re out the door!
Extreme obesity is not an as big issue as it in the US (yet!), so it´s really disgusting to see how some doctors are almost fascinated with a really obese person. I´ve heard this one doc say "oh we have this new patient who´s having surgery tomorrow. Go check her out, she is freakin huuuge, she might just break the bed" and he laughed like he just told the world´s funniest joke. Eww, that comment made him seem soo ugly ya know?

[|<33]

Even though I have never been fat and probably never will be, and even though I have few overweight friends...I still hate the way some people talk about overweight people.

Yep, my hubby is about 280lbs (and that's after losing about 30lbs) so I hate hearing people talk bad about people who are overweight. He went through a lot of BS in high school and middle school, kids can be so cruel!

[magosienne]

as a baby i was anorexic, as a teen i compensated my lack of friends by anything sweet. now i am overweight but probably eat more fruit and veggies than many "educated" people of my age (those thinking they know better and giving you advices when eating a pizza ).

as a teen my parents told me i'd look so much cuter with a few less kilos. when you're a teen constantly looking for your parents' approval, that really hurts. since then i don't really care about weight anymore, at least i don't judge people by how much they weigh.

like Andrea said, it's often associated with laziness and eating junk all day. people just don't know what they are talking about. either i ask them how much their foolishness weighs, or i ask them to read the labels of whatever they're eating or whatever snack they have in their bags.

[Andi]

Originally Posted by magosienne

either i ask them how much their foolishness weighs, or i ask them to read the labels of whatever they're eating or whatever snack they have in their bags.

LMAO, those are good responses. And there´s always the classic
"I´m fat, you´re ugly. I can loose weight, but you....?"

[pinksugar]

indeed. Def. True.

But there is so much pressure on girls to lose weight.

I want to lose about 5-10 kgs. But seriously? I'm not fat. What with the changes to dress sizes, I have the same measurements as marilyn monroe! but today that's considered a little chunky

I think most girls today want to lose weight, but you know what? we don't need to! we're gorgeous how we are! it should be about health, not weight!

[Adrienne]

I know my sister in law has to deal with this crap. She's even having trouble with her boyfriend over her weight. Its sad because she doesn' even feel comfortable going to the gym because just stare at her.

When i first met her she was anorexic and when she finally got help, she gained back all 120 lbs. Right now we're motivating each other to lose weight so hopefully it'll all work out.

[|<33]

Originally Posted by pinksugar

it should be about health, not weight!

Exactly!!


And hey, if you don't want to be healthy fine! Just don't be mean to people! lol!

[magneticheart]

I followed the link from the rascism thread and came here lol

I've always been naturally thin and seeing as I'm 6 feet tall (about 1.82 metres) that makes me look slimmer as well. All my life my weight has been commented on and as a self-conscious person I've never been able to brush the comments off. I've never checked my BMI but I'm pretty sure that I'm not under-weight. I eat normally (sometimes a bit too much junk food but I've got a sweet tooth ) and don't seem to put on weight and people talk to me like my weight is my FAULT! They assume that I must watch my weight and as a result of that a lot of people judge me before they know me. They just assume that I must be stuck up and self-obsessed when I'm really not!
In a day and age where if you're even a tiny bit above average you're labelled 'fat' and if you're a tiny bit below average you're labelled 'anorexic' is it any wonder that people get eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder? As long as your healthy and happy what right has anyone else to give a hoot about how you look?
Sorry about the mini-rant. As you can tell I get quite annoyed about this subject lol

[P.I.T.A]

I've always been on the skinny side....until I started driving a couple of years ago. I've gained about 20 lbs, but you know what, I love it! I could tone it up a bit, and that's what I'm working on, but I love having the curves now. I finally have shape. What kills me though, is when I see old co workers, or friends I haven't seen in a while, the first thing out of their mouths is "OMG you got fat!" I think to myself, I'm not fat, I'm healthy, happy, and I love the new shape my body has. People just get so use to seeing you one way and just expect you to stay like that.

I'm not fat.....I'm fluffy!!!