Do I have Dumb A$$ written on my Forehead?

Glamour Girl · 07-22-2006, 12:56 PM

I am so pissed off right now! I have a neighbor (who is literally next door and supposed to be my good friend) who has been pregnant with her 3rd child (bad move - can't handle the 2 she has), but these past 2 months she has locked herself in her house with her husband and kids and hasn't spoken to anyone (including me), because her pregnancy was "just too hard" and she didn't want to deal with people. Well, that really hurt my feelings, because I thought she was a "good friend", and who the hell does that? Anyway, she finally had the baby last Wednesday, and I didn't call her until this morning to say congratulations (because I'm a nice person and I wanted to give a few days to adjust). Well, she did answer, and we chatted for a few minutes and then I told her I was going to Target - did she need anything? She asked me to bring her back a frappachino. So I told her I would be over within a couple of hours and she said no problem. While I was at Target, not only did I get her her coffee, but I picked a baby outfit too, and wrapped it all up. When I got to her house, there was a note on the door saying "M - had to take baby upstairs for a nap, call you later" - I was so pissed! Here I am, after 2 months, holding a freakin' coffee and gift for her and she decides to go take a nap with the baby! (I even had my cell phone with me, and she didn't call). She knew I would have her coffee - HELLO! you asked me to get it (and it's not like their cheap!).

Well, after this incident, I am through! I'm a good person and I don't need to be treated like shit. Thanks for letting me vent everyone!

***bluebird26*** · 07-22-2006, 01:03 PM

That's too bad. I can't believe she didn't call you to apologize or anything. We try to be nice and they just give a pepper about it.

***kellianne76*** · 07-22-2006, 01:09 PM

I'm sorry that she treat you in such a tacky way. It sounds like she needs a lesson in manners.

Glamour Girl · 07-22-2006, 01:10 PM

thanks girls

***Pauline*** · 07-22-2006, 01:13 PM

Hi GlamourGirl...i am sorry that you feel your friend has let you down.Try to bear in mind she has just had a child and from the sounds of it she is very depressed. I reckon by the time the few hours had passed and you got round to visiting her,your friend was totally exhausted and couldn;t keep her eyes open. Try not to take things so personally...be helpful towards your friend and try to see things from her point of view. I know you went to a lot of trouble,but realistickly the poor woman must be run of her feet with 2 kids a new born baby!

Glamour Girl · 07-22-2006, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pauline

Hi GlamourGirl...i am sorry that you feel your friend has let you down.Try to bear in mind she has just had a child and from the sounds of it she is very depressed. I reckon by the time the few hours had passed and you got round to visiting her,your friend was totally exhausted and couldn;t keep her eyes open. Try not to take things so personally...be helpful towards your friend and try to see things from her point of view. I know you went to a lot of trouble,but realistickly the poor woman must be run of her feet with 2 kids a new born baby!

I totally hear what you'r saying, but the thing is that her parents live across the street and have been taking care of her boys for the full 9 months! She has been waited on hand and foot. I would agree that she she will be exhausted "now" by the baby, but while she was pregant, she really should not have neglected everyone.

***lovelyarsenic*** · 07-22-2006, 01:24 PM

Hey Glamour Girl - sorry to hear your troubles, I hope things look up for you. However I must say I agree with Pauline as well - pregnancies can be a tough thing for quite a few women, some handle them better than others. I have three sister in laws who are all going through the motions with children and believe me when I say it has been one hectic/interesting/exciting experience all at once.

***VenusGoddess*** · 07-22-2006, 01:25 PM

When I had my FIRST child, I didn't want anyone over. You don't realize how draining it is to have a child...until you have one. Call her later and ask when would be a good time to visit and go then. BTW...I've had people say, "I'll be by in about 2 hours"...and that 2 hours stretches into 3 or 4...and dammit, I'm tired! And, that was with one baby...I couldn't imagine with 2 toddlers/children and 1 newborn.

She's going through a rough time right now, and while it's not good to let anyone walk all over you (her not calling was kind of rude) it's also important to know that she has a lot on her mind and would probably benefit from some compassion.

Speak with her about this...and let it go. If she does it again, then write her off...but if she's just a little frazzled and not really thinking clearly...then you haven't lost a friend and she'll be happy that you stuck around.

Good luck!!

***pinkbundles*** · 07-22-2006, 01:31 PM

hey M! sorry that happened to you. it really, really sucks when you go out of your way for someone and they don't even have the courtesy to call you when plans have changed. just had a baby or not, it's really no excuse. it takes two seconds to dial your cell number and that is nothing compared to the amount of time it took her to find pen and paper, write a message and then tape it to the door to let you know she's going to take a nap! i feel for her i do (i know what it's like to have a child and a newborn). but that's ridiculous!

Glamour Girl · 07-22-2006, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkbundles

hey M! sorry that happened to you. it really, really sucks when you go out of your way for someone and they don't even have the courtesy to call you when plans have changed. just had a baby or not, it's really no excuse. it takes two seconds to dial your cell number and that is nothing compared to the amount of time it took her to find pen and paper, write a message and then tape it to the door to let you know she's going to take a nap! i feel for her i do (i know what it's like to have a child and a newborn). but that's ridiculous!

Thanks girlfriend! I've had 2 of my own, so I know I'm not being compassionate.

***kaeisme*** · 07-22-2006, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VenusGoddess

When I had my FIRST child, I didn't want anyone over. You don't realize how draining it is to have a child...until you have one. Call her later and ask when would be a good time to visit and go then. BTW...I've had people say, "I'll be by in about 2 hours"...and that 2 hours stretches into 3 or 4...and dammit, I'm tired! And, that was with one baby...I couldn't imagine with 2 toddlers/children and 1 newborn.

She's going through a rough time right now, and while it's not good to let anyone walk all over you (her not calling was kind of rude) it's also important to know that she has a lot on her mind and would probably benefit from some compassion.

Speak with her about this...and let it go. If she does it again, then write her off...but if she's just a little frazzled and not really thinking clearly...then you haven't lost a friend and she'll be happy that you stuck around.

Good luck!!

***Satin*** · 07-22-2006, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VenusGoddess

When I had my FIRST child, I didn't want anyone over. You don't realize how draining it is to have a child...until you have one. Call her later and ask when would be a good time to visit and go then. BTW...I've had people say, "I'll be by in about 2 hours"...and that 2 hours stretches into 3 or 4...and dammit, I'm tired! And, that was with one baby...I couldn't imagine with 2 toddlers/children and 1 newborn.

She's going through a rough time right now, and while it's not good to let anyone walk all over you (her not calling was kind of rude) it's also important to know that she has a lot on her mind and would probably benefit from some compassion.

Speak with her about this...and let it go. If she does it again, then write her off...but if she's just a little frazzled and not really thinking clearly...then you haven't lost a friend and she'll be happy that you stuck around.

Good luck!!

Ditto!

Even I came to kn ow how difficult it is to manage a child.I once went to my in-law's house and she has given birth to a baby a month ago and u could see how busy she was taking care of the baby.baby gets up,cries,sleeps,getsup,sleeps and the routine continues...so I saw how difficult it is and u cant easily tell how many hours it takes etc.

savvy_as_98 · 07-22-2006, 04:53 PM

that is not a very courteous thing to do but new mothers are often frazzled - maybe u can let go this time and give her another chance !

***Ricci*** · 07-23-2006, 01:45 AM

Depression or not she knew a drink was comming to her and she could have at least waited till u showed up but yes depression sucks I have three kids it is hard

Eragirl · 07-23-2006, 01:53 AM

Hey, yeah... And you never know. She could be insecure about how she looks too! I go through agoraphobic(sp) stage