Sponsors
Click for Mortgage and Loans Info
Current Newsletter Newsletter Archives
blah blah
Go Back   MakeupTalk > Announcements - Introductions > General Chit Chat - off topic talk
User Name
Password

Abbreviations Rules/Regs
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-09-2005, 08:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
.·´¯`²ºº8~admin~²ºº8´¯`·.
 
Tony-admin's Avatar
Tony-admin's Notepad
Tony-admin's Reviews
Tony-admin's Swaps
Tony-admin's Friends

User has 17,234 Posts
country flag United_States
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: SOCAL Bro
Blog Entries: 11
Thanks: 38
Thanked 55 Times in 34 Posts
You have Two Cows....

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.


IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.


FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.


CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They
make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold
likes the ones with the big udders.

__________________
Please Visit

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Please note I don't answer support questions via e-mail or PM - please use the relevant thread or forumxxx
Tony-admin is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.us
Reply With Quote To THE TOP!
Old 03-09-2005, 08:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
Janelle~ MuT's Hair Guru!

 
NYAngel98's Avatar
NYAngel98's Notepad
NYAngel98's Reviews
NYAngel98's Swaps
NYAngel98's Friends

User has 11,503 Posts
country flag United_States
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: You have Two Cows....

Thats funny T! LOL
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Helping to MakeOver the World... One Post at a Time
NYAngel98 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.us
Reply With Quote To THE TOP!
Old 03-09-2005, 08:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
Video Access Queen
 
wongy74's Avatar
wongy74's Notepad
wongy74's Reviews
wongy74's Swaps
wongy74's Friends

User has 967 Posts
country flag United_States
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Honolulu, HI
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: You have Two Cows....

Click the image to open in full size.
__________________
*Jess*

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
wongy74 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.us
Reply With Quote To THE TOP!
Old 03-09-2005, 10:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
I love Scandinavia!
 
lilla's Avatar
lilla's Notepad
lilla's Reviews
lilla's Swaps
lilla's Friends

User has 5,197 Posts
country flag United_States
Join Date: Feb 2005
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: You have Two Cows....

This was very good
__________________
NotePad Edited 12Mar06
37 year old, Normal/dry skin
Fair skin (Chantecaille Real Skin SPF 30-Fresh)
Dark green/hazel eyes, Dark brown hair
lilla is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.us
Reply With Quote To THE TOP!
Old 03-10-2005, 08:15 AM   #5 (permalink)
Millennium Talker
 
Laura's Avatar
Laura's Reviews
Laura's Swaps
Laura's Friends

User has 11,798 Posts
country flag Ireland
Join Date: May 2004
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Re: You have Two Cows....

What does the Irish Corporation do with their 2 cows Tony? Ok let me think.. firstly they'll sell them & charge the 21% VAT that is added on to every product in this country. Then they'll keep the money & tell the public that they never had any cows!
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Laura is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.us
Reply With Quote To THE TOP!
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Home - Product Review Center - Swaps - Member Market Place - Member Center - Search Reviews - Search Swaps
User Control Panel - Links - Link To Us - Advertise - Rules - Media - Help - SiteMap

Powered by: MakeupTalk, Inc. 3.7.4 Copyright ©2003 - 2008, AR WebSolutions, Inc
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.2.0
Page generated in 0.43674 seconds with 17 queries

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73