[brewgrl]

Seriously-

I have only a few grudges burning deep inside me, but they are there, and I can't seem to let go, nor does it seem like I actually want to let them go, when it comes down to it.

Maybe all this happy-face facade I do all day for work and for the kid has worn a little thin and I am in the mood for some dark feelings to emerge every once in awhile. But like I said in a post about falling out of love, resentment is a weed...

So, I sort of feel like i SHOULD let this stuff go... But how?

[GlossyAbby]

the only thing I have found to let feelings like that go is just time......it takes me quite awhile probably b/c im stubborn but time is the only thing that works for me...

[pinksugar]

I agree. Time definitely helps.

maybe you could try the ol' "burn" technique - you write down all of your resentment in a letter, and then burn it. It should help you to release your feelings of anger.

To be honest a little bit of healthy resentment or bitterness is natural! it's only when it starts affecting current relationships in ways that you don't like that you should start thinking about how you can let go.

[Johnnie]

I don't hold grudges. I feel there's no reason to allow anyone to make you feel that way. You're only letting them win and plus life's too short to dwell on the negative things in life. If you let it consume you, it will. Good luck!

[Ricci]

I dont hold grudges either.. its pointless and bad for your Karma and health
sorry my advice is to let go and smile!

[-Chelsey-]

Originally Posted by jmgjmg623

I don't hold grudges. I feel there's no reason to allow anyone to make you feel that way. You're only letting them win and plus life's too short to dwell on the negative things in life. If you let it consume you, it will. Good luck!

I completely agree!

[SqueeKee]

Yea, grudges take so much energy out of you! Of course I'm going to assume you know that already or you wouldn't be writing in the advice and rants forum

I really wish I had good advice, but I'm afraid that I can only agree wholeheartedly with what Johnnie said and hand you a link that I found googling "grudges" which you probably already did anyway

I'm sorry I'm not much help!! I really hope you feel better soon Just remember - the only person a grudge hurts if the person holding it Unless you're a super spy assassin ninja who can get rid of the problem and get away with it

[S. Lisa Smith]

I agree with Rosie, time heals all wounds...

[PrettyFlowers]

Originally Posted by Chelsey21

I completely agree!

I think it's easier said then done sometimes.

I agree that giving it time will help, but I totally understand how you feel.

Originally Posted by jmgjmg623

I don't hold grudges. I feel there's no reason to allow anyone to make you feel that way. You're only letting them win and plus life's too short to dwell on the negative things in life. If you let it consume you, it will. Good luck!

This is the part I meant with respect to not allowing it to get to you. That is really hard to do at times.

[tyarishanese]

I guess it depends on the offense because not everything should be handled the same way. I'm not really good at holding grudges either (thank GOD). Someone once gave me excellent advice for something I was going through and she said 'don't let other people define you'. It worked for me.

[kdmakeuparts]

In a perfect world we would all forgive and forget......well here we are in an imperfect world.
All kinds of emotions serve us, even angry or sad ones. There is a point where you have to draw the line though. If it is changing who you are or eating your happiness then something should be done.
I am sure some people will say, " It does no good to harbor such feelings" well too damn bad! Anger happens and bottling it up and pushing it away is not good. Feel it then deal with it.
It depends on the offense, I agree, but some things should never be forgotten or forgiven. IMO!
Bottom line, if it is affecting your daily life, do something, If not let it remind you to be more careful and learn from it.

[arphsfriend]

Since all of us need forgiveness, who are we to withold it from anyone? That being so it will take years in some cases of refusing to hate. It is in part an act of will. You can't do it alone anyway. Pray about it and pray for the person. Remember the terms of the Lord's prayer: we ask to be forgiven as we forgive!

[katana]

I don't think I let go of grudges, I mean yeah, time heals, and I may not feel as strongly as I did before.....but its always there. You may forgive or accept apologies for mistakes, but it will always be there.
So I think it for me, its more of a letting go by not speaking or thinking about it ever again, but I don't think I ever feel like the grudge or hard feelings have disappeared entirely.
Thats your natural survival skills. To hold grudges.
It prevents you from being hurt by the person again, or experiencing the same painful things over again.

[KristieTX]

I wish I had some good advice for you because I am holding a major grudge myself right now that has been years in the making. If you find out how to handle it, could you pass the advice my way?