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Old 12-09-2007, 12:45 PM   1 links from elsewhere to this Post. Click to view. #1 (permalink)
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I have to tell this anybody...

I don't know whats wrong with my family We are never together! My two older sisters hates each other, My oldest sister don't like us all much because we don't have much money...she's a damned snob! Everything has so be expensive and she teached her kids only big gifts are good gifts, like a gameboy or playstation game, cheap gifts like some candy or anything or clothes from a discounter not good enough! My second Sister don't have much money too...and my oldest sister hates her to death, i don't know why...They both live far away in an other federal state.I can't remember when we was all together... I live with my parents and they are not very healthy, i have to help my mom sometimes to get her clothes on. I love my parents but sometimes i think i don't have a real family. I see so many lady's on MuT with their family pictures... My sisters both got pregnant with 18/19 and moved in their own apartments ( there are 10 and 12 years between my sisters and me..), they both liked their "new" parents more and don't visited us or anything ( they lived about 15-30 minutes away from us...). Now they are both divored ( oldest sister 1x divorest, 2x married, my other sister 2x divorced 3x married, both with 4 children ). Now it's christmas time already...and we are alone. without my sisters, no grandparents, no nieces/nephwes, no aunts and uncles and no cousins...Just my parents and me. My oldest sister don't even give us a call! We are all so weird! My oldest niece is in a therapy because her little brother ( my oldest nephew ) moved to his father and leave her alone with her half brothers and she is injure herself. The oldest daughter from my other sister moved to her father after my sister married the cousin of her ex husband. My dad was in therapy too and i'm sure my mother need a therapy too ( she was abused by her father as she was a little child ) but she don't want to go...she's often depressive and she bites the skin around her fingers bloody. I'm waiting for a therapy too and take antidepressants...We are all so weird! I'm sorry if i bored you and this is a little bit confusing...but i had to tell this anybody *sigh*
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Old 12-09-2007, 02:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

awwww honey.......don't feel your family is not normal, there are many diff types of families and just b/c ppl may look happy in pictures does not tell the whole story!!!!
we all have been dealt a different amount of crap and I think we are only dealt the amount we are each able to deal with!!! sorry that you are sad right now........I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 12-09-2007, 03:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

Right.....happy pics does not always equal perfection. Everyone has their own stories and problems. I am sorry that you are feeling so bad about things and this time of year, it's easy to do for a multitude of reasons. Know this........you have your parents. Both of them and that is a lot more than some people have. You are a gift to your mother and not everyone has a daughter willing to help. Start some new traditions that only the three of you share and dont compare yourself to others. If your siblings dont want to participate.....their loss. Its very hard to be thankful for what we do have instead of wishing for what we dont and a lot of us are guilty of that. Remember the blessings that are in your life and I hope you feel better.
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Old 12-09-2007, 03:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

Christmas can be a pleasure for some and can be lonely time for others. Well by the sounds of it I would rather you as a friend who looks after her parents rather than someone who takes off and does not bother to keep in contact. Its sad. And you are so not alone, as there are so many families like yours. There are very good words of comfort above.
Take care hope you feel better
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Old 12-09-2007, 04:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

I'm sorry things have been so awful. I really don't know what I could say to make you feel better. Family can be a huge burden and it's sad that your sisters have left you to take care of your parents all by your self. I hope that things get better for you and I hope that your therapy helps. Hugs.
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Old 12-09-2007, 05:27 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

You are a good person to stay with your parents. You have more than many people have, even the ones with the "happy " pictures. Many times things are not what they appear, people who look happy are not and have problems that are even bigger than yours. You have the knowledge that you are helping people you love and who love you.
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Old 12-09-2007, 05:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

I'm sorry. My family is a bit twisted too, so you're definitely not alone, but like Kelly said.. If your sisters don't want to be there then that's their loss.
Hope you feel better soon.
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Old 12-09-2007, 06:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

I don't think you are alone and your family situation sounds pretty typical.

You can't change any of your family members unless they want to in the first place, so I suggest you make amends with your feelings.

Good luck in resolving your feelings, it takes awhile but you'll get there.
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Old 12-09-2007, 06:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

Thanks a lot for the nice words! It makes me feel a little bit better. I think that i have to do this because my parents gave me a lot. Your parents take care of you and someday you have to give all the love and all the things back. My parents tease me sometimes a little bit ( i know they don't mean it nasty ) with phrases like "poor daughter, you are the one who have to take care of us, i'm sure you will have fun when we are old and senile" It scares me to death. I have a "Social Phobia" and don't go out much. Only to the Drugstore, Supermarket, Doctor and stuff. I don't know why but people scare me to death and i get panic when somebody is looking at me for longer than a second. I'm the stupid little sister who don't have a boyfriend since years. I Hope i have my parents for a long long time...but take care of them alone? My Mother have a disease named fibromyalgia so she have pain all day long and with this disease came depressions, i've read hear diary one day ( i know it was wrong but she was so depressed and i had a bad feeling...), she wrote about suicide. My Dad is cardiac and diabetic. The whole situation is just scary. But i think its the easiest way for my sisters to shift the responsibility to their youngest sister. But NEVER anybody ask me what i think about it and if i'm strong enough to be in charge for my parents. It was too much for me in the last months. I had to tell this anybody. Thanks
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Old 12-10-2007, 11:06 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: I have to tell this anybody...

I think it is wonderful that you look after your parents. It shows how much compassion you have for others. I use to work as a health care aid in senior's homes and apartments. Some children couldn't care a less about their parents health and some were wonderful. I saw all kinds of situations while working in that field.

I don't have an ideal family so I know what it is like. Unfortunately you won't be able to change your sister's views/attitudes they have to see to it themselves.

If you are finding looking after your parents is stressing you at times do you have gov't agencies that have health care aids that can come into your home, apartment to give you some relief? I know when I worked in seniors home, apartments it was to give the families a break. Anywhere from 1 hour to 8 hours depending on what the parents and caregivers wanted. Caregiving can be stressful at times even though you want to be there for your parents as much as possible.

I hope this helped! Please keep us updated. Were here for you.
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