[P.I.T.A]

My sister in law is having some major issues at work. She's constantly being yelled at by her boss for pety things, in front of the students (she works for an AMR school) and other co workers. A few months ago a co worker decided she was too stressed at work and took disability. She came back a couple of months early. As soon as she got back her and another co worker started ignoring Suzy, talking crap, creating fake myspaces to talk crap, pointing and laughing everything they walk by her office. 3rd grade actions pretty much. Well, Suzy has tried to go to the boss on numberous occasions and the boss tells her SHE'S the problem and to stop acting pety. Suzy can't go to HR because her boss and the HR guy are buddy buddy.

Last week her boss held a "Team Meeting" and it was pretty much an attack on Suzy allowing the other 2 girls to say whatever they wanted to, to Suzy and never let Suzy have anytime to defend herself. Suzy is pretty much the backbone in this job. She was also threatended to be fired if SHE didnt shape up her attitude. Suzy has been trying to make nice on a professional level but the other girls act like theyre 3. Suzy is now to tell the other girls when shell be leaving her desk, so she does, only to have the other 2 girls roll their eyes or say "bye" like a 3 year old in time out would.

Is it possible she can seek out a lawyer and have a legit case on her hands? She's been suffering from anxiety, depression, and insomnia due to her work place.

[-Chelsey-]

I think she should definitely get a lawyer, that is not acceptable behavior at the work place. My friend right now is in a court battle with her old job because of very similar things. Is there anyway she could go to anyone above HR like corporate? There is no excuse for being treated the way she is at work, it should be a professional environment and I definitely think she has a legit case and should get a lawyer soon.

[P.I.T.A]

Thanks for the reply. She's been leaving mssgs for lawyers but none of them have called back yet. Poor thing just wants to get out of there ASAP. I asked her if she could go to someone higher than HR, but in order to find out who that is, she has to go to her boss. If she does contact that higher up, then it gets back to HR, then he goes and tells her boss which will make the situation work. Is it best if she just says screw it and walks out. Or continue putting up with this emotional abuse on a daily basis until she gets a lawyer?

[-Chelsey-]

If I were her I'd probably just leave, but thats me. Even if she does get a lawyer though it's going to take time and who knows if the situation would get worse or not. I feel sorry for her!

[magosienne]

it's definitely harassment and she should get a lawyer. tell her to wait a bit longer until she gets a lawyer. usually with problems like this everything revolves around the proof which can be difficult to obtain. however, i suppose she saw a doctor for her depression and insomnia, so she could use that, and also show her prescriptions(if not, i suggest she does that). if she could also get a testimony from each close person, people she sees regularly, neighbors, friends, family, that could help.

and if really she can't bear it anymore and feels she needs to go away, she could use that to say her boss made her work so impossible to do she had to leave, she was forced to quit. simply put, it's like she's fired, but in a disguised way. with the advantage it's free for the boss, no paperwork or any money to give to the employee.

the third point of attack would also be, you said she works for a school, he despised her authority in front of the students, so how is she supposed to handle them if clearly her authority is questioned by her boss ?

anyway, here's how i'd put it. keep in mind i'm just a student, and i only know french law, so there might be some differences in the U.S.

[pinksugar]

I agree with the others. I would do***ent the fake myspace, maybe secretly record some of the comments. Then take it to a lawyer OR whoever is higher up in her company.

If she really is the backbone of the company etc, I would just leave. They'll soon realise that they're screwed without her. Maybe if she even indicated she'd leave then they'd change (although that seems unlikely) - work is not worth this kind of stress. She needs to get assistance from an outside source and if she can't do that soon then I would suggest leaving.

Your poor SIL hope it gets sorted out

[Aprill]

That is really horrible what she is going through and I have been through something similar and it is very very very hard, even with them on videotape to sue. I dont wanna be like negative or anything, but truthfully.

To argue harassment or discrimination in the workplace, you would have to first file a complaint with the EEOC, and they wont even look at it if her situation as to how she is being treated is not comparable with someone who is opposite of her (race, age, origin, blah blah.) (dumb I know, but trust me as someone that was fired after a whole bunch of harassment and drama, and attempted to sue and was shown the door)

Sometimes the best thing, if possible, is to resign, cause if you cant go to HR for help, there's really no where to go unless there is an open and honest, anonymous HR hotline, where she could call but im sure they would know its her and retaliate and end up terminating her and giving her a bad name when its time to find a new job.

That really sucks that is happening, good luck to her

[Dragonfly]

In Canada, we have Federal employment insurance that also covers maternity and sick leave. Does her state have this? If so, why doesn't she ask for time off from the doctor, get her salary from the insurance, and look for a new job?

[S. Lisa Smith]

I don't know anything about California employment law. If she is having a hard time getting up with an attorney, she should contact her local bar association and ask for their lawyer referral service. They will refer her to an employment lawyer who will talk to her for a minimal amount of money. Then she will know if she has a case.

[Darla_G]

I take it there is no union that she belongs to either. If she did perhaps a grievance could be filed through them.

[P.I.T.A]

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I greatly appreciate it.

So, here's an update since yesterdays post.

She texts me around 3 to tell me she just had a severe panic attack and her boss sent her home. She got home and contacted 3 different lawyers all of which had told her basically too bad, so sad. She can either leave or stay and put up with it. Her case isn't strong enough. She has pretty much given up with trying to settle this out of court. Her new plan is that her last day is July 3rd. The 5th, we're going to her work to pick up all her stuff and let the company suffer without her. She does almost all the work there while the other 2 talk about the students they're sleeping with at the moment and making personal calls. This is going to suck financially, big time!

[Adrienne]

I'm so sorry that your friend had to go through this. I have a friend who recently quit for the same reason at her job and my sister in law used to work for an insurance company that had 5 other coworkers, 4 women that were relatives and the boss.

She had such a horrible experience there, the women were so mean. The boss had told her that if the girls didn't like her than she'd have to go. I guess that hinted at what was expected to come in the near future.

I'm glad that your sister in law is leaving. Hopefully this gives her an opportunity to work somewhere where her work is appreciated.

[aney]

That is just awful! People can be such idiots! I think the ebst thing she can do is quit and spare herself more trouble!

[P.I.T.A]

Victor and I are taking her to her job one weekend so she can clear everything out. She was written a letter stating that her resignation will be effective immediately. She also just found out she's got 8 grand in her 401 K that she can take out as well. I think she's gonna be ok. Now, we just need to get her a job lol.