[Ricci]

She totally betrayed me

Ok her on and off boyf has abused her severely,
call her a goof one week ,next week says she's his angel etc,
he has shot guns at people , selling crack for 13 yrs on and off and many peeps wanna kill him etc
u get the picture Hes in jail now
he will be out in 20 days
shes pregnant due Dec 13 so I been not only supporting her food and shelter out of my heart I also found her a place right beside me I managed to talk my landlord into renting it out to her
I even managed to help her get the first month rent paid
I told her I'd Support her before and after the baby emotionally etc
prior to getting her the place she agreed that she wouldn't let him over much (its his baby )
Agreed he can only come over w/ his parents
and not move in and take over which he will try to do
she agreed it was time to forget him and focus on her and the baby NOW that shes moved in ( since Aug 1) she turned the tables on me and said u cant tell me he cant move in etc and she can do whatever she wants etc and started to yell at me and get very mean!! (WTF is it with people treating nice people like shit??
anyhow My landlord and I wanted to make this place crack dealing free drama free nice and quiet etc

She wants him back .. if he moves in it will get really bad .. he keeps guns on hand , will deal crack once hes out (20 days) beat her , etc

OMG what should I do..
Its so weird how someone can act soo nice and sweet and wonderful and turn in to a completely different person the next
I know a few already in life and online


You should have seen
mean look on her face
I have done so much for her spend hundreds of dollars on her ( just cuz I love her) sheltered her, bought her stuff from Victoria secret.. talked to her in support terms ... I been basically throwing all my attention on her
its her first child
shes 22 ugh

[katana]

Ricci I'm sorry your having such a hard time trying to help out your niece.
You seem to be really going the extra mile to help her and her unborn baby.
Shes only 22 and may still be a bit immature....being with a man like that proves this.
She really needs to start thinking about herself and her babies safety.
I'm sure this isn't the type of environment she wants for her child, but she's young, has a history with this man, believes she is in love with him, and maybe thinks he'll change. It can be hard to get her to see things differently.
I'm not sure what advice I can give, except that you are doing all you can, and more.
Its obvious you love her, and only want the best for her, but you can only do so much. Don't be hard on yourself for her being moody and unappreciative.
She's probably trying to deal with a lot of emotions right now, and it may be a long time before she clears things up.
The most you can do for her is be there, like you have been.
If she messes up the situation you have helped her to set up, then it's her problem. Not yours. You've done more then your share.
Just let her know, you love her, and your going to be there if she needs you.
Don't get yourself down..she is the one digging the hole deeper.

[Dragonfly]

You can't do anything more for your niece - she is 22 not 12.
But you can protect her child.

The moment you suspect the child is exposed to drugs - Call the Police
The moment you suspect your niece has been assaulted - Call the Police

Children's Aid will remove the child from the parent/parents and will be placed in a loving, safe environment. If your niece hopes to get the child back - she will have to undergo extensive councelling and will have restrictions placed upon her.

[Aprill]

Sad but true I agree with Carolyn.

There's no need to baby her, you did everything in your power for her. Now let life whoope her butt.

If she lets him in, you see a gun...call the police
If she lets him in, you see drugs being sold....call the police.

They are gonna take her baby....but make it so that you are (not saying that you are not) 10000000000% stable so that if you want the child, there will be some hope that the baby can be taken care of by you...if that's what you want.... Governments would rather children be with relatives rather than strangers.

Niece needs a wakeup call...there is no more loving help for her

[Gwendela]

I agree wholeheartedly with Carolyn and April. I am terribly sorry that you are going through this Ricci.

[Ricci]

Originally Posted by katana

Ricci I'm sorry your having such a hard time trying to help out your niece.
You seem to be really going the extra mile to help her and her unborn baby.

ya i have maybe too much thanks hon!

Originally Posted by Carolyn

You can't do anything more for your niece - she is 22 not 12.
But you can protect her child.

Very true Thank u xxx

Originally Posted by Aprill

Now let life whoope her butt.

lol great way of putting it thanks April

Originally Posted by Gwendela

I agree wholeheartedly with Carolyn and April. I am terribly sorry that you are going through this Ricci.

Thanks Gwen

[xtiffanyx]

What you've been doing is absolutely wonderful, hopefully she will realize this later on. I am very sorry about the situation you're in...your niece is lucky to have you around.

[MakeupByMonet]

Originally Posted by katana

Ricci I'm sorry your having such a hard time trying to help out your niece.
You seem to be really going the extra mile to help her and her unborn baby.
Shes only 22 and may still be a bit immature....being with a man like that proves this.
She really needs to start thinking about herself and her babies safety.
I'm sure this isn't the type of environment she wants for her child, but she's young, has a history with this man, believes she is in love with him, and maybe thinks he'll change. It can be hard to get her to see things differently.
I'm not sure what advice I can give, except that you are doing all you can, and more.
Its obvious you love her, and only want the best for her, but you can only do so much. Don't be hard on yourself for her being moody and unappreciative.
She's probably trying to deal with a lot of emotions right now, and it may be a long time before she clears things up.
The most you can do for her is be there, like you have been.
If she messes up the situation you have helped her to set up, then it's her problem. Not yours. You've done more then your share.
Just let her know, you love her, and your going to be there if she needs you.
Don't get yourself down..she is the one digging the hole deeper.

AGE has nothing to do with it I'm 22 With two babies & I would never stay with a man who beat me or anything My kids ALWAYS come first!!! Hopefully she realizes that her baby is special & needs to come 1st before any one or any Man but if not Please try to be there for that poor child because no kid should be put through so much violence!!!!!Hope everything works out!!!!!

[Shelley]

I agree with Carolyn and Aprill.

I have been in an abusive relationship and at the time in my life I always thought he will change or he will turn back into the person I first met (as in nice, charming etc). Abusers never change their ways unless they get counseling and then there are some who will never change no matter what help they get. It took me awhile to realize that and I hope your niece will realize this before its too late.

Ricci, you have been wonderful to her and a great support. Please keep us updated.

[Karen CD FL]

I have to agree with some of the other posts. Since your niece is a legal adult, there is nothing you can do about her but you can protect her child.

I would contact a good attorney to find out how you can protect the baby. You can even start with a group like planned parenthood to get you in the right direction.

Your niece can be arrested and put into protective custody till the child is born to make sure she does no harm to the child before and after she gives birth.

At that point, the county or state will remove the newborn and find a place in the system to make sure it is protected.

I am so sorry you have to be going through this especially since you gave so much love and care to her.

[pinksugar]

Rickster, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to support this girl.
I don't think that age should be an excuse for her behaviour.

The others have given good advice. I hope everything works out.

[StereoXGirl]

I'm so sorry, Ricci!

I agree with what everyone has said, there's not much more you can do aside from calling the cops to protect the baby if it comes to that!

I wish you the best! Hopefully she'll come to her senses!

[Johnnie]

I agree with Carolyn and April. I'm more concerned about this baby than her. It truly breaks my heart to hear that this child is already at risk of getting hurt and that is a huge problem for me. Since, there's nothing more you can do for her at least try and do something for this baby. She/he is the innocent one in all this.