[GillT]

So, there are people who just cannot live any kind of life without medication. I lump myself in that category however there are people much worse off than me. I'm very aware of that so I'm not going to go on and on.

I don't know. Is anyone else on the same boat? Have you found something that helps you? Are you worried or upset about taking medication for the rest of your life? I am sometimes. Like now. I don't want to have to take medication to feel normal enough to get on with life. I'd like to be able to live without it. It seems weak to be unable to cope with daily life without taking tablets.

For the record I've been without the medication for a while now and it's not been the right time. I don't think it ever will be. I'm going downhill pretty fast and a lot of stuff has happened at once making this an even less suitable time for coming off it. It's not just the mental but the physical aspects as well that it helps with (stomach problems/shooting pains). How long before you say "Enough is enough. Put me back on the tablets. I can't cope."? Do I try and persevere or do I go back on? Do I try something else? Therapy never worked for me. Medication saved me.

Argh! I'm a madwoman. I could type about this all night but I'm going to stop before I make anyone's head explode.

[I realise I'm typing very strangely, like I don't have a decent grasp of English. Where has my ability to type like an intelligent person gone? It's become a bit of an effort and seems very forced. I'm not doing so well. I honestly think I sound (in as much as my typed words can 'sound') loopy.]

[SimplyElegant]

Well it depends on what you have and the severity. Usually the best thing is a low dose of medication with lots of therapy, and trying more than one different kind to see what's right for you. There are lots of different therapists out there and they offer different things so I wouldn't turn down therapy and science is advancing newer therapies right now anyway. I don't think that medication is the cure for everything and I don't think it works 100%.

[GillT]

I can't count the number of different people I've seen and therapies I've tried. Honestly. You name it I've tried it. Down to the 'mind-over-matter, you can walk on hot coals and I'll show you how' kind of thing. That guy was stranger than me. o.0

Anyway, nothing went in any upwards kind of direction until the medication. It's the only thing that has worked for me.

Also, this thread includes all illnesses related to psychiatric medication. There's me and people like me but there are also people who have to take medication. People with severe problems e.g. seizures. I'm not so bad that I risk dying purely from lack of medication but some people are. I want to hear from those people. How they feel about the medication because it's not without its side-effects. How do they cope with them? What are their general thoughts on it?

Meh, my last post was worded really badly. I rambled and went off on a bit of a tangent. This one isn't a whole lot better but my head is feeling less fuzzy. I've still not properly defined what I'm hoping to achieve from this. I'm not looking to 'praise' medication or say it's the only way, just that for some people it is (or certainly seems like) the only option. How do they deal with that?

[Aquilah]

Cyera's godmother is on meds for the rest of her life, and she just trucks on through it. She realizes it's for her benefit, and that the consequences of not being on the meds aren't good.

Sometimes, it might just be a matter of knowing it's making you better, even when you don't think it is. Knowing the difference in how one feels on the meds as opposed to off might be enough to keep them on the meds.

I don't think I'm chronically depressed, but I do recall my old therapist diagnosing me as having Borderline Personality Disorder, which basically means I need to be on meds that I'm not on.

It's possible you haven't found the right therapist, and it can take numerous ones before you find the right one. It also depends on how often you go I think. I mean, once a month won't do as much good as once a week, or even twice a month. And, sometimes it means changing meds until you find one that works. Even if that means one worked for a few years and you had to change it again.

I wish you the best of luck with it all. I know how hard it can be, but keep your head up and don't give up!

[GillT]

I went to a day unit every week. I suppose it didn't help that they basically admitted defeat. I tried everything they had to offer and more outwith the unit and they saw me not improving in any way. I'd wanted to try all other options before going back on medication since my first experiences with it were awful and I pretty much did. The medication was an attempt at some kind of improvement before they felt they had to send me off for a stay at the local ward (which I ended up in anyway) because they feared for my safety.

I'm not being defeatist (I think - am I?), just that because of the kind of person I am therapy either did nothing or made me worse. It's all down to playing the victim or not. I understand all too well that getting better is more a matter of choice than some people like to think. Certainly in the case of depression (I'm believed to be bipolar but who knows). I don't play the victim, although I did for donkey's years. No one can help you if you have that kind of mentality. The hard work comes from you. In order for me to be able to do that though I need the medication to help. Without it I fail much much more at picking myself up and dusting myself off. It brings my mood to a level that I can carry on from.

Therapy not working for me makes sense. If I'm not going every week to reiterate and focus on the latest crap that's happening or panicking in absolute terror while sitting in a circle of people then yeah, I'm not going to feel as bad. Don't get me wrong, it's probably not obvious at all in any of my posts but some of it was cathartic, however I didn't find a single one where I didn't feel like a victim. I don't think that I am able to not feel like a victim with any kind of therapy other than drug therapy. And if I feel like a victim I'm going to be one.

Does that make sense? The only thing other than tablets that's helped was my psychiatrist getting annoyed at me and telling me I was acting like a child. It made me so angry. Unbelievably angry. How dare he! I'm ill! You don't say something like that to people who can't help it, you just don't. But, I decided that it made me that angry that I was going to prove him wrong. It was the kick up the backside that I needed.

To get better people need that kind of thing. Or something like it. Something that will give them the motivation they need to improve things. I think people have the wrong idea about therapy. I did. It will NOT 'cure' you. Its aim is to enable you to allow you to do that yourself. Without the mentality that I gained from those few seconds with my psychiatrist I wouldn't be typing like this. I'd probably be going on and on about how everything sucks. Sometimes I might even think it. Sometimes I might even think I believe it but I there's something else in my head that allows me to give myself a mental kick.

To summarise, before I type all night/morning, I'm stronger than I was thanks to my medication and that brief tiff with my psychiatrist. Other than that therapy held me down. I am however losing my ability to bounce back despite what I know. I don't want an uphill struggle all my life to remain logical and put negative thoughts in their place but without the medication part of my motivation is gone. I'm honestly trying to deal without it but it's very, very hard and it's affecting everything.

Urgh, thinking about what I've written it doesn't make sense anymore. I'm saying mentality counts for everything (or did I not say that?) and yet I'm saying I still need my medication. Um. I can't phrase this bit right. Even with the medication, especially if you get the 'honeymoon period' at the beginning and then it settles down, you aren't going to feel suddenly better and able to move on. Nothing is going to magically make you content with life. You need to do some hard work yourself. For some people medication isn't needed. For some people it is.

Finally, I'm not decided on whether or not I should take the medication. It would improve my quality of life and that's a big thing but I also feel it would be relinquishing responsibility for my own emotions. Do I want to go through life with a general malaise? Should I just deal with that? I'm just undecided. I'm often on the fence with a lot of things. I like to be open-minded and be able to see things from different angles but this makes some other things difficult.

Holy hell is this all over the place. I think I've even contradicted myself in places but I don't know if I have the energy to go back and organise it all. As I'm sure you can tell this was mostly for my benefit to help me figure out where my mind is at in the whole scheme of things.

[4getmeNot]

well..i am prescribed to xanax & if i don't take them everyday, i get extremely aggravated with simple daily tasks that shouldn't be a problem at all. they help me feel calm & collected, & without them, i am a nervous, anxious wreck! i hate the fact that i need to take them, but i just do it to cope...

my doc says that we can try slowly decreasing them so oneday, i won't need to take them at all but for now, i definately don't wanna decrease, as i feel i have too much stress in my life! although you have tried different forms of therapy, there is always hope & other paths you can take. sometimes the pills are the best thing you can do for your health & your mental stability. maybe speak with your doctor about something else you can do, or maybe switch or decrease medications.. HTH & good luck!

[Dragonfly]

To begin with, I totally disagree with this statement:
Certainly in the case of depression (I'm believed to be bipolar but who knows). I don't play the victim, although I did for donkey's years. No one can help you if you have that kind of mentality. The hard work comes from you.

Both Depression and Bipolar Disorder are chemical imbalances of the brain. They can be helped by both therapists and medication.

I don't know what your diagnosis is - to be honest I had trouble following your thoughts.
I wonder if you have experienced some misdiagnosis.
From my experience, certain kinds of Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder have overlying symptoms.
A skilled and experienced Psychiatrist can make an accurate diagnosis after several interviews with their patient. But even then, misdiagnosis can occur.

You asked about serious illness and medications - if you are experiencing a side affect that is uncomfortable, tell your doctor. There are many medications on the market that can substituted. Sometimes you have to play the guinee pig until you find the right meds and dosages that are tolerable.

I have been battling mental illness most of my life. I was finally diagnosed 10 years ago and started taking the right medications.
I take my illness as seriously as someone who has a heart condition.

I have met way too many people that do not take their illness seriously and do not take their medication as prescribed or not at all. Or they are afraid of possible side affects like putting on weight. So they refuse their medication and end up in the hospital.

In my opinion, you need to take your illness/diagnosis as seriously as a life threatening disordr. Take your medication as prescribed. If you are experiencing unpleasent side affects, talk to your doctor.

[AngelaGM]

Please feel free to IM me if you are able. I have Bi Polar Disorder and I used to feel as though my medication was a crutch but not anymore.

[GillT]

I agree that that was badly worded Carolyn and doesn't even make sense with what I said. It's very final. I said that my psychiatrist did help me. Sometimes people aren't going to improve until they have the motivation and until that comes things won't look up. That motivation may come from therapy. From a therapist. From anyone. It might not come from a person. It could be anything.

I think that generally therapy wasn't a good option for me because it brought me down. Until I got that kick people were unable to help me for years. I'm not sure that totally makes sense because in the end it was one of those people who said something that got through to me. Had I not been in therapy I wouldn't have seen my psychiatrist and he wouldn't have been able to say to me those words that he did. It mostly didn't help but those few seconds did. I think that that is what I needed out of it. I'm not sure if it would benefit me now in this frame of mind. I'm not convinced it would. I don't think it is for me.

Is that worded any better? :S

I was titrated off my medication very slowly over the past months and have been off them for a month. When I started things in life had got pretty good: I'd moved in with my boyfriend, got a job, gained much more confidence. But a lot of stuff came at once, just as I was finishing them, like my dad's tumour and losing my job. I don't know if I should wait until things are better in life to decide if I honestly need them, if I can, or if I should go back on them now knowing that they improve my quality of life. I'm not worried about the side-effects as the medication agreed with me very well.

It's all becoming less coherent as I go on. I like to get across everything but I end up rambling on and not completely making sense.

[speedy]

I don't take psychiatric medication, but I do take medication every day (I have an autoimmune disease). I too went through the stage where I didn't want to be taking medicine for the rest of my life and wanted to get well enough not to need it, but I came to the realisation that when I didn't take it I wasn't well, and I came to accept that I need this medication to make me feel okay.

I am still pursuing other options to get better (natural medicines, etc), but they all tell me to stay on my medication.

I think it you have a better quality of life with medication, then keep taking it. Lots of people have to take medicine for all sorts of reasons, and that's okay, don't give yourself a hard time over it.

[S. Lisa Smith]

As usual Carolyn is right. I had a clinical depression and take generic prozak. I've been on it or some other antidepressant since 1985.

[AngelaGM]

I thank God that there is a medication that keeps me stable! But it is a shame mental illness is stigmatized!