VENT: stupid future brother in law

Rissa928 · 07-15-2008, 01:48 AM

AAAAHHHHHHHRRRGGGGG!

My soon-to-be husband's brother's life partner is such a flake! He is a coward and doesn't follow through on his promises. He is a drama queen in all sense of the phrase.

Basis of this rant: Well soon-to-be (Chris) and I are getting married in Rome, Italy. Since the beginning, we made people well aware that this is going to be a big financial and time committment. Future BIL was on board since the moment we announced it to the family. Great, right?!

NOT!

Up until 2 days ago, Chris and I were under the impression that he was going since he was talking about getting tickets and renting a car while in Europe during the bridal shower. We find out from Chris' mom that he isn't going. Mind you, a day before Chris' mom broke the news, he told us that he was going. BOLD FACE LIE!

I digress. Once I heard this from future MIL, I phoned FBIL. Of course, he didn't answer (avoidance much?), but I left a message. This was 2 days ago, and I have yet to hear from him.

F****** coward!

ETA: Chris' bother is equally to blame. He's a coward too!

Johnnie · 07-15-2008, 07:37 AM

Why is it so important to you that he's not going? Maybe there's a financial reason.

***pinksugar*** · 07-15-2008, 07:53 AM

hmm. If it was me, if I really couldn't afford, I would still be upfront, regardless of how upset I knew my future SIL would be. Honesty costs nothing, and if you are sensitive and appologetic no one can get angry - if you're too poor to afford it, you can't help that.

SO yeah, financial considerations don't excuse his avoiding you! he sounds like a PITA.

but do you really want someone who might/might not turn up, might/might not screw up your wedding, might/might not be a drama queen? annoying if he doesn't come (and disappointing too) but maybe for the best?

but yes, it's rude. Try to see the positives! and congrats, omg, that wedding sounds soo amazing. I wish I Could come!

***magneticheart*** · 07-15-2008, 08:44 AM

He might not be able to afford it but what he has done is plain rude!
You should just forget about him and look forward to the wedding. I'm sure you'll have a better and easier time without him there.
Good luck with the wedding! Sounds like it will be great!

***Adrienne*** · 07-15-2008, 08:50 AM

Speak to him and find out why he isn't going. If its financial problems and he apparently knew ahead of time that he was not going, then this is just plain rude. I'm sure he is to play a role in the wedding itself if you can't stand him and its that important that he goes. I think the least he could've done is just been upfront about it.

peachface · 07-15-2008, 08:57 AM

As much as I think it's rude of these people to not be honest with you and don't return your call, I am not exactly sure why you are so upset over the fact that your future BIL isn't going to be at your wedding... Is this someone you really wanted at your wedding? (I'm getting the impression that he's not...!?) Is your fiance's brother not attending as well, or is it just his partner? Were they supposed to be part of your wedding party?

I'm sorry you are upset. My sister got married only a couple of months ago so I know a little bit of what it's like to be planning your own wedding and how much stress it causes. But I also know that the stress can make your emotion more fragile and sometimes, make people be a bit less understanding and a bit more unreasonable...

Maybe there's been a miscommunication between you, FBIL and FMIL... Whatever it is, I hope everything works out.

Rissa928 · 07-15-2008, 11:35 AM

Him not going isn't the point. Him maybe not being able to afford it isn't the point.

He is family, and regardless of his quirks, we would like him to be there. FBIL and him have been together for 15+ years. He is a brother to Chris.

The point is that up to this point (24 days before the wedding), he has led us to believe that he is INDEED going. Him being misleading is upsetting. He has yet to tell us that he isn't going. His failure to tell us that he isn't going could've cost us a bunch of Euro! Good thing we found out before hand.

Be upfront about it, that's all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksugar

hmm. If it was me, if I really couldn't afford, I would still be upfront, regardless of how upset I knew my future SIL would be. Honesty costs nothing, and if you are sensitive and appologetic no one can get angry - if you're too poor to afford it, you can't help that.

SO yeah, financial considerations don't excuse his avoiding you! he sounds like a PITA.

but do you really want someone who might/might not turn up, might/might not screw up your wedding, might/might not be a drama queen? annoying if he doesn't come (and disappointing too) but maybe for the best?

but yes, it's rude. Try to see the positives! and congrats, omg, that wedding sounds soo amazing. I wish I Could come!

Pink (and everyone who has said something similar), this is exactly what I needed to hear. Everything you've said is on point. I'm glad to hear it from "strangers". =) *hugs*

Chris says that it was meant to be, b/c he is certain that chaos would happen if he attended. And who wants chaos while in a different country. =)

flychick767 · 07-16-2008, 01:06 PM

Hey, don't worry about it. Just enjoy your wedding.

***pinksugar*** · 07-16-2008, 04:43 PM

oh, yeah, I didn't even think of that - all the extra money you'll be spending that you can't get back now because it's too close to the date. *shaking fist* I dont like his attitude, LOL.

And no doubt he's had plenty of time to save! haha, I came back and reread this, and felt irritated all over again :P