[speedy]

I hope it all works out for you. Personally, I wouldn't be able to trust someone who'd lied to me like that, but only you know if you can forgive and forget. And it will depend on how far he's willing to go to prove to you that he's changed.

[Killah Kitty]

This is a good question that I wish I knew a good answer to!

Ive sort of been in your shoes, while I have made mistakes too, he has too, he was on dating sites, had a secret second email for a few months, called chicks all the time, things like that, but alot has changed since it all came out in the open and we talked about it.

I will say, that if you both want it bad enough, there is always a chance for the trust to come back, but it is an everyday struggle, it is not easy, and it will take a while, because it will linger in your head for a long time. Moving on is always a hard thing to do, and honestly, I stay on top of things a lot more now, ask him everyday about if hes been up to anything like what he was doing, just bluntly be clear about it, and it seems to help having things out in the open like that between us.

So if you are looking into eventually marrying this guy, make sure he is on the same page, and that he will stay on that same page for however long it takes to get trust and honesty between you two, because it might take a year or more you never know, but please I really advise you not to get married until that happens, because marrying someone you can't trust just seems like a recipie for a disaster..

[Maysie]

I believe that people make mistakes and can change. But I think its a pretty crappy excuse he gave you (to say the least) about needing to turn to another woman when you were PREGNANT because he needed intimacy. That's the most vulnerable a woman can be in my opinion. Then again no reason he could give is going to make it better. Several years ago my fiance cheated on me (was talking to and had kissed a girl at work...we weren't engaged yet), and we were able to get past it through counseling and time. I did check up on him often, but he understood that it was going to take a LONG time for me to trust him again. And since he knew that and was supportive and went to counseling with me, I believe we're closer than ever as a result. Then last year he proposed and we're going to be married this coming May. I think it really depends on the person though...he needs to fully understand how he hurt you and be committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work. I wouldn't go making any big decisions about marriage for at least several years. One thing about counseling if you go, make sure it's someone you feel comfortable with the first time you go...you may need to go to a few to find someone you like.

[bia910]

Originally Posted by MakeupByMonet

That is Way tooooooooo much secrecy for me I'd be gone in a heart beat kid or no kid!!!!!!!!!! I wouldnt want to teach My daughter that its ok for a man to treat you this way & I wouldn't want my son to think its ok to disrespect Woman that way!!!!! If you even have to ask to take a lie detector test..........its not worth it...trust me no matter how much you love him or how how many times you say you forgive him You will NEVER truly forgive him becuz no matter where he goes Or what he does Your always gona be thinking hes doing wrong! & EVERYTIME that phone rings your gona be thinking its another woman , & nobody wants to go through life always stressing out!!!!!!! Just my opinion.Good luck with your decision!!

i completly agree.