[Tony-admin]

Originally Posted by Ricci

How do u know have u necked with a smoker before?

please lol

[Ricci]

lol

Originally Posted by Tony(admin)

please lol

[love2482]

I feel you on this one hun. I am also with a smoker, and it sucks horribley. I'm trying to get fit, and run more, but being around his smoking is really making it hard for me to workout! I asked him to start smoking outside, which he does do when I am over, but it doesn't seem to help much. Blah. I hate cigarettes.

[nikky]

it is good that you have these feelings about the smoking. smokers don't realize the danger they are putting non smokers in especially children. I am 32 years old and have been having problems with my throat since I was a kid I kept telling my parents that I was allergic to it and it was making me sick and they would get mad and keep smoking, a couple years ago I was over my mothers house and she and my sister was smoking and all of a sudden my throat closed I had to be rushed to the hospital and the doctor said I was loosing my voice box and had to give me steroids to make the swelling go down since then I had to have 3 surgeries for my throat and I can't talk for long because my throat hurts. I suck on cough drops all day because of the pain that I am in and my voice box feels like it is about to collapse. so stay strong about your opinion on the second hand smoke it is not good for your baby to have to suffer because of someone else parent or not.

[laurreenn]

i think you should be supportive and try to help him through this. while your ultimatum might work, it might also alienate him and make it harder for him to overcome this. addiction is a hard habit to kick, and he will relapse and make mistakes and he's going to need your support. see how it goes and adjust yourself to accommodate your relationship.

[S. Lisa Smith]

My wife smoked when we first met (she started when she was 14 or 16). I never have, except for a cigar here and there. I suggested that she stop. Not really an ultimatum, but I let her know it was a deal killer. She gave it up cold turkey and except for one incident when we were married and living in Hawaii (she was under a bunch of stress at work) she hasn't smoked since. That was 33 years ago. Stick to your guns!

[debbiedeb77]

smoking is bad no doubt but relationships are about working through these things as a team...you could give incentives instead of an ultimatum, it may give him less stress and allow you to conquer something together. I really think that you have to take it day by day and be supportive of his journey in quitting this nasty habit. anyway- good luck, i hope he has success in quitting!! aloha~ deb

[jessiej78]

Originally Posted by ag10v

I personally don't think I'd have any patience with a smoker. I once was dating a guy that smoked.

I knew he did and I thought we'd be able to get pass it but one day he was smoking and as soon as he finished, he kissed me! I was so grossed out by the flavor and we didn't last one week.

I couldn't even imagine someone smoking around my child. This is a very harmful addiction and no child should have to be forced to smell this. I personally agree with you. Now your a mother and a good parent will put their childs needs and safety first before anything else, and that includes his father. If he wants to put his child first, then he'd quit.

[Sarah84]

How are things going? did your boyfriend give up?

Im in a simular sitaution at the moment. My boyfriend gave up soming july 1st last year and went away a few months ago to amsterdam for the weekend and thought it wouldnt do any harm to smoke but it has and now he is smoking everday again and its driving me insane.
I really despise smoking for a number of reasons it smells, is disgusting and not good for your health on top of that i also suffer with a lung condition which makes me relise how valuable healthy lungs are and him abusing he's by smoking makes me really angry. He was a smoker when i first met him and he knew i couldnt stand it and i was so happy when he decided to give up but now i feel so disapointed that he's started again. I did something stupid over the weekend maybe some might see it as over reacting but i said that i was going to stay at my mums for a while as i just cant be around him smoking, although he smokes outside he still stinks when he comes in and i know he's had a fag. He says its just a phase but to me it doesn't feel like he has any intention of trying to give up again at least not at the moment. arghh i just feel annoyed with him for being stupid and smoking again after 9 months of hard work quitting.

[Johnnie]

I can understand where you're coming from. Sure, smoking is gross, bad, etc.... I know because I used to date one. All I can say is that he's compromised by smoking outside but obviously it's not enough for you. He does seem to care otherwise he could've continued to smoke inside. Like everyone has stated habits are hard to break and I can only suggest that you put yourself in his shoes. You try having someone throw an ultimatum in your face even though they know you're this "perfect person" but don't care because you smoke. ?? As someone else mentioned...I'm sure he'll come to his senses when the baby arrives. For you to consider breaking up for this very reason, I feel is unreasonable and a bit selfish. He's not around you when he smokes and I'm sure he won't be when the baby is near either. People are going to say stick to your guns, etc....and to have it your way or the highway. It wouldn't be fair to him if you left with the baby. He could be the most awesome dad ever and because 'god forbid' he smoked, he's out. If you choose to leave then I hope you find someone who's just as perfect as he is. Good luck!

[kdmakeuparts]

I definately say be patient. Smoking is a chemical and mental addiction, and just as hard to quit as any other drug.
My Husband and I quit when we decided to start trying to get pregnant with our first child. I swear I thought we were going to kill eachother!!!
It is tough and he needs your support. From an entire pack down to 5 is significant. And let him know you are proud of him for that.
I definately agree that smoking should never be done around children, and when he sees your baby I am sure that will be just the motivation he needs.
Stress is not an excuse, it is a valid trigger and it will take him time to learn to deal with his stress in a different way.
And in his defense you met, fell in love with, and decided to have a child with a smoker. While the reason is valid, you are still asking him to change and it will take time.
Good luck and congrats on the baby!

[ivette]

your definetly not a bad person. i don't like anyone smoking near me either.

its not a good thing for you to be inhaling smoke, especially since you're pregnant.