[Ricci]

He cheated now hes acting like an ass sounds so suspicious
sorry your having problems

[Faith-Abigail]

Originally Posted by Carolyn

Everyone has suggested counselling - I think that's a good idea.
If he doesn't want to go, please consider going by yourself.
It will help you see your marriage through clearer eyes and you learn better coping skills.

I was going to suggest the same thing. At the very least, you'll be able to work on your own issues and discover what it is that you want out of your relationship and what you can do to acheive it.

[Adrienne]

Thanks everyone for all your support. I feel like i can't talk to anyone because the people i associate with are all family and in situations like these, living with his family temporarily, they are gonna speak on the behalf of us staying together, not through what actually is good for me.

All day today and yesterday afternoon, he was very distant towards me and didn't say much of anything. A friend called and he wasn't on my a$$ like normally asking who is that who is that and today i went in late to work and when i asked why didn't he call when he went on break he told me that i told him i didn't want him checking up on me. I let him know that i mind when he calls to see how i am but i don't want to have to answer 20 questions (what did you do, did anyone call you, did you mess with your phone, did you send any messages). I guess im to the point Im kinda hoping it doesn't work just because i'm so tired. I just feel that if he can't be caring without jealousy, than i can't be with him. I know he has his own insecurities and i know thats why he's acting the way he does. I'm tired of "saving" him changing who i am or how i do things just to keep him happy. Does anyone think a break would actually help? I know he won't go to counseling for crap bc i've asked him numerous times.

[MakeupByMonet]

I used to think a break would help BUT Honestly what if all he's thinking during that "break" is who is she being with , who is she calling etc & you'll be thinking the same thing & God forbid if he did do somethin u didnt approve of during that break & u find out & confront him All he's gona say is "well ur the one that wanted this break"!!! I think if u want to fix it try to fix it let him know you cant go on like this & if u dont want to fix it than as hard as it is let the drama/him go!!!! IDK I have just been through things like this & would hate to see u hurt MORE in the end !!

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by MakeupByMonet

I used to think a break would help BUT Honestly what if all he's thinking during that "break" is who is she being with , who is she calling etc & you'll be thinking the same thing & God forbid if he did do somethin u didnt approve of during that break & u find out & confront him All he's gona say is "well ur the one that wanted this break"!!! I think if u want to fix it try to fix it let him know you cant go on like this & if u dont want to fix it than as hard as it is let the drama/him go!!!! IDK I have just been through things like this & would hate to see u hurt MORE in the end !!

yea that does make a lot of sense. hopefully he's willing to change his attitude for the sake of our son but if he's been like this since i met him, i dont expect much of anything from him anymore. in the past year its like i've started to care less and less but i'm really scared of breaking up. I feel like itd be harder than dealing with this but i think im just scared of seeing him with someone else.

[emmy2410]

Hi adrienne,,

I am sorry for what's happening over there with you. I am sure all the ladies here have said comforting words. Pls dun be discouraged. I myself have been a jealousy person - I was very jealous to the extent that I can tell off my bf in public, hit him out of anger, watch where his eyes goes when he sees a woman. I love him alot as he was my 1st guy in my life and the love blinded me so much that I failed to realise it that I am also causing him pain NOT that he is a saint though. He does fool behind my back and does stuff, he hits me terribly and I was able to forgive him. He does all the tings and the blame comes on me. I could not get rid of my jealous feeling but eventually I learnt to let go that feeling..its not easy though but life experiences has tot me alot of thing. Even before I got married to the man who is my hubby now I was feeling jealous tooo...I could not avoid it though. He is a foreigner and I felt that I am no btr compare to other gals and stuff. This was because of the inferiority complex that I had within me and I felt that I am not better than others. But eventually I learnt alot in my life's journey and now that I am married and with a 2 year old son...i think I adore my son more than my husband..haha. I learnt life some hard ways and appreciate for the person that I am with GOD's help. Sometimes the jealousiness creeps in me but I kick it away. Pls get someone not from your family to be the mediator/councillor. Its a long process but just hang in there and I am sure some changes will come out of it. Sometimes due to Guy's ego they don like if we women telling them whats right and wrong. Instead when some one who is in a respectful position like a councillor educates them they might have something go up in their head. All of us human does err sometimes but if that error becomes a continuation than something is wrong. Every one of us has a limitation when that limitation breaks free than no one can stop it. I hope I did not say anthing wrong over here. Take care dear.

Emma

[mariascreek]

I understand your feelings of just not caring anymore, but feeling really scared to break off and seeing him with someone else at the same time. Instead of focusing so much on him doing something with someone else during a "break" what if YOU meet someone wonderful, or not even, what if you find out that you really are at peace when you're alone with your child and don't have to answer 20 questions every time your significant other calls you. If a break doesn't make him miss you terribly and beg for you back and promise things will change, if instead he goes off with someone else...then isn't that your answer???


i know it may sound super easy on paper, that's only my point of view from here where i am. i wish all the best for you.

[Jorja Anne]

I’m sorry you are going through this. It sounds to me like he is insecure, has some issues to deal with and growing up to do. Like others have said, try to get him into some counseling. If he won’t go to counseling I am afraid for you. Think about this.

• he has already cheated on you
• he is having jealous outburst
• If he is not now physically abusing you, he will be

I know you have at least 1 child. You have to do what is best for you and your child. I hope this works out for the best for you.

[MakeupByMonet]

If a break doesn't make him miss you terribly and beg for you back and promise things will change, if instead he goes off with someone else...then isn't that your answer???

SO TRUE I knew this already but hearing from someone other than my self lol helps ME to do what i need to do as well....Thanks!!

[pinksugar]

I totally agree with Mariascreek too - I hope it doesnt come to that though

[speedy]

Wow, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it must be tough! It sounds to me like you are already leaving the relationship emotionally. If you've started to switch off and not care so much, it's like you're getting ready for the inevitable.

I hope it doesn't come to that, but if he can't change his behaviour, maybe you'd be better off without him.

[Adrienne]

Thanks everyone for the support. Its so much easier to get an unbiased response. it really helps me set things into perspective a bit more.

Special thanks to MakeupByMonet and mac-whore. You guys have been so sweet.

[Ricci]

How are you feeling now?

Originally Posted by Adrienne

Thanks everyone for the support. Its so much easier to get an unbiased response. it really helps me set things into perspective a bit more.

Special thanks to MakeupByMonet and mac-whore. You guys have been so sweet.

[Adrienne]

Originally Posted by Ricci

How are you feeling now?

I'm feeling little better but not about the relationship necessarily. All this really helped me put a lot of things that i really didn't think about out there for me. I never realized how much this has actually changed who i am and how tolerant i've become. I'm not asking for a knight in shining armor or anything like that, just a relationship where i dont have to be alert 24/7 and watch how i say something or how long it takes for me to answer or what words i choose or how i act when i say it. I swear, jail inmates arent this confined lol