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At what age did you start having children? - Page 2

post #31 of 58
I have two children. My husband and I were married at 26 and 25, respectively. We were blessed with our son when I was 28, and our daughter a month after I turned 30. For us this was the "right" time. We got to spend 4 years as a child free couple, then progressed together as parents. I feel blessed as I was told, due to medical issues I may never have children. Three months after I accepted that we would be childless, I became pregnant!
I knew at a young age that I wanted to be a mother. My sister on the other hand decided at a young age to never have children. Though I would love to be an auntie, I respect her decision. Being a parent is the most frightening and beautiful experience in this world. There is no "right" time to have children, as you only have so much control in the process. Choosing to be a good parent is the only thing within your control.
post #32 of 58

My friend had a baby at 19!!! I think its too too young to take any responsibility!!!

post #33 of 58

I think at a certain point, it's less about age and more about how prepared you are; having a kid in your late 20's when you're studying to get your MD is totally different from being a stay-at-home mom in her late 20's with a kid. I knew a girl whose mom had her in med school, so she was raised by her grandparents most of her childhood.

post #34 of 58

I'm 28 and still like a child myself, I don't feel prepared to take on a lifetime responsibility for another human being just yet.

I just got my Master's and now we're trying to save up money for a house downpayment. I want my child[ren] to have everything they need for a healthy life and right now I just can't afford that.

post #35 of 58

This is a normal feeling for a caring parent so don't think it strange that you feel that way. It is alright to plan and get the basics ready before you make babies but if you want to get everything ready...you might never have any children. If you settle, have a home to stay happily and can provide food for the table, you can start and save gradually as you go along for the rest.

post #36 of 58

Halle Berry was 41.

 

 

A response that usually shuts people up when they start nagging about when you're going to have kids is "Whenever God decides to bless us."  Doesn't matter if you're trying or not.

post #37 of 58

Had my first one at 24 and my last one at 29. I have 3 natural children and one that was a gift package that came with my hub, so I'm a mom to 4...plus my hub... and dachshund... and guinea pig... and a plecostamus. biggrin.gif

post #38 of 58
Truth is I always thought I would have kids by now- I'm 34. I've been with my husband for 7.5 years and he's amazing & I love him so much. We're both so busy with work and furthering our careers that it really has never been "the time". The more I think about it, I think it's never " the time" & that its probably just one of those things that you work your life around. I'm at the point where now I see what having kids involves and I'm thinking its not what I want in life. I hope I don't regret my decision. I work for a family business and when I get home I'm exhausted - the last thing I really want to do is be up all night taking of a child. The older we get I think the more selfish we get....
post #39 of 58

I had my two boys at 25 and 27.  It has worked out perfectly for us, as I was able to finish up my education right after I got pregnant with my first (it was a surprise, lol!).  I'm always weird about numbers, so when I figured out that I'd turn 30 right when my oldest started kindergarten (and my youngest started preschool) at 5 and 3, and I'd turn 40 right when I got two teenagers at 15 and 13, I thought that was so cool!  Due to all the financial craziness, I got an IUD right after my second son was born, and my hubby and I are now trying to decide if we want one more, or just want to call it quits with the boys.  I seriously want a daughter, but I just know if I get preggo again it'll be another boy!  

 

I agree with what some of the others have said, that having a baby is much more about maturity and financial readiness than any numerical age.  I know some people who have been excellent parents at 19, and some people in their 40s that should never have kids!  Find someone stable to raise your children with, and have kids when YOU'RE ready, not when someone else tells you to.

post #40 of 58

Hubby and I started trying when I was 18 but didn't happen for us till I was 24 or so but with the help of IVF though.

post #41 of 58

I had my daughter a month before my 20th Bday. If I had a stable relationship and some financial stability I would have like to have another one then and be done but life had other plans. After 11 years as a single parent I met my now husband, we eventually married and had our son 9 months later. By then I was in my mid 30's and wasnt having anymore! Even now I sometimes wonder if I left it too late - Im in my 40's and dont have the patience I wish for a busy almost 10 year old.wacko.gif

 

Im glad my daughter, who's 24 and married this last summer, is waiting. She wants more schooling and to purchase their first home first. Her time line is to TTC by age 29 and be done in a couple years. Although Im interested in grandbabies Im happy shes wanting the stable family base I wasnt able to give her.

post #42 of 58

24 yrs old.

post #43 of 58
There really is no right or wrong answer to the question "what age should you be when you have kids?" It is a very personal decision that only you will know. I had my first when I was 21 & have had another every two years since then. I'm now 31 years old & am having my 6th (& final) little one in May. People think I'm crazy & certainly aren't afraid to tell me how they feel about someone having 6 kids so young, but I feel like if you are ready & capable, there is no greater blessing in this world than a precious little one looking up into you eyes telling you how much they love you.
post #44 of 58

I had my first at 19. I was in a stable relationship, we were married and financially secure. My daughter is 3.5 now, and today her father and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary, and we're currently expecting our second daughter (like ANY time now, I was due last Saturday). 

 

There's definitely no "right" or "wrong" time that's universal for everyone. I am absolutely, positively certain that I was ready to have my daughter when I did. Some people aren't ready until they're significantly older, and that's great too. It's such a personal decision.

post #45 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrittneyMarie View Post

There's definitely no "right" or "wrong" time that's universal for everyone. I am absolutely, positively certain that I was ready to have my daughter when I did. Some people aren't ready until they're significantly older, and that's great too. It's such a personal decision.

I agree completely, perfect response!

 

I'm 26 and I just had my first three months ago (omg, three months already!) and I'm already revved up to get number two cooking.

post #46 of 58

I had my first child when I was 20~ Then 23 and then 30!!!!  If I could do it over again, I would wait until I was older!  At least done with college!  Also, I would also wait to have sex until I was married.  I had two of my children out of wedlock.  My first one and my last one!  Talk about a stressful time!  Don't let love lead you into situations that you are not prepared for!  Boy was I not prepared!  LOL!!!  But thank God I am married now!  :)

post #47 of 58

Congrats!  

post #48 of 58
Hi, I was 21 when I first got pregnant and had my son at 22. I'm glad I did, I loved being a young mom. Even though I was young I don't think I was too young. I had so much fun, I think by still maturing made it more fun for me that and him being a good baby. I think it all depends on the person and how their life is going. I knew I was ready because of all of the feelings I was having before I got pregnant.
post #49 of 58
Hi, I was 21 when I first got pregnant and had my son at 22. I'm glad I did, I loved being a young mom. Even though I was young I don't think I was too young. I had so much fun, I think by still maturing made it more fun for me that and him being a good baby. I think it all depends on the person and how their life is going. I knew I was ready because of all of the feelings I was having before I got pregnant.
post #50 of 58
I got married at 18 and pregnant a few weeks before my 21st birthday.

I've always wanted children and have worked in childcare since I was 18.

I feel that I'm pretty prepared, but still have some anxiety about it. Baby is due in February!
post #51 of 58
We had ours when we were 40 - seems late but it has turned out great!
Tamsin
post #52 of 58

I had my baby at 16. I know it's young, but me and the father are married now and everything is still going fine. I know that seems really young, it was and it was hard at first, but now my hubby and I both have good jobs and we recently got our own place and everything, so it's nice. (: 

post #53 of 58
You don't have to have children untill your ready and settled. There's absolutely no rush, unfortunately the age of pregnancy is gradually getting lower, there's people of age 11 now.. Teenage mums are everywhere, and as I am one, as much as I love my bump I wish I'd of waited, it was totally unexpected but now I can't live life to the full, partying concentrating on school ect. I'm a month and 16 days pregnant. At 14 years of age, and I will be Judged for the rest of my life.
Edited by tasha123 - 10/19/13 at 8:01am
post #54 of 58

I got pregnant and had my son when I was 19 almost 20. I love him terribly, but sometimes wish that I had waited.  He is 17 now, and I at 37 and I am now in my last year of University.  I am a single parent with no help from his father, so it took me quite a long time to be able to go back and finish my degree.  I was also ill for about 10 years with a mystery illness that took a lot out of me.  I sometimes feel if I had waited I would have been able to give him a better life - one where I wasn't sick all the time.  Of course ironically enough, the mystery illness has left me unable to have more children, so had I waited I would not have been able to have a child at all.

post #55 of 58

1st at 15, second at...23? Yeah, 23. lol

Don't get pregnant at 14/15 kids, just don't. =p

post #56 of 58

I got pregnant with my first at 18, he's now 11, my second was born 6 days before my 23rd bday and she turned 7 yesterday. i married their father before the first was born though i was 5 months along when we tied the knot...but we were engaged before conceiving and not trying to prevent a baby(wanted to start a family right away)..it's almost 12 years later and we are still together, i had my tubes tied after my daughter was born cause the military let me and i knew i did not want to be having more after her, i love kids, don't get me wrong, i even loved teaching 2 year olds...i just knew that when my husband's medical discharge for his shoulder went through it would be way to difficult financially to add to the group. i've regretted it from time to time and wished i could have another, but that usually passed fairly quickly. i'll only be 41 when my youngest turns 18, my husband and i will be young enough to enjoy life and enjoy grandkids.

 

my family has this weird unplanned tradition too...

greatgrandmother was 15 when she started had 5 kids

grandmother was 16 had 4

mother was 17 had 3(granted all were unplanned and 9 yrs apart each time)

i was 18 had 2 kiddos

 

long story short...i love how my life turned out...yes waiting would have made some things easier, i went back to school at 23 years old with a preschooler and a baby..but i did it, i work a crappy job now, but we manage. i had the blessing to be home with both my kids when they were little and when i did go back to work i taught at the daycare my daughter was in and where my son had prek.

i say do what's right for you, no matter if you leap in or wait you will make your own path and you will do it no matter what to the best of your ability.

post #57 of 58

I had my kids when I was 24-28. I have 3. For me it was the right decision. I am glad I did because I am 33 and premenopausal. And I had a friends that got pregnant at 30 and was told she was high risk just because of her age. So I definitely don't think you should have a child if you don't want to, but you should be aware of the risks of waiting also.

post #58 of 58

I just got married last year at 29 and now I'm 30...I still don't want to take the plunge with children. I can't even think about what trying to have a baby while I was in college would have been like. Yikes!! I feel like I might not have that maternal gene because my biological clock has yet to tick. lol I just can't imagine adding anymore to my plate. I work full time (bring home the main paycheck), do 90% of the household chores, and do volunteer work in my community constantly. I can't imagine adding baby, no sleep, and less money to that.... Maybe I'm overthinking the expense part but when I found out day care could cost up to $1000 a month I just couldn't fathom how we would come up with that kind of money. I don't dislike children but I'm not dying to make one of my own either. Maybe I'll change my mind?? 

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