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Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?  

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
I've been with my BF for almost 2 years and We've been going through somethings for awhile...We had a long talk last night out of many...I love him very much...but the relationship seems to be fading...and one of his concerns are that I can be very quiet and not very social especially in groups(I'm just shy sometimes)...and he's very social...He also thinks that we don't have much in common because we don't like the same things...Thats just a small part of it...We're also going through some things personally as well...So we almost took a break...but then decided not to...I want to make things work...I don't want breaking up to be the Solution...I want to work through our issues together because we're a TEAM...Hes a Wonderful guy I couldn't ask for anything more...and I know he loves me very much as well I... We didn't take a break...but I wanted opinions... Are Breaks healthy to take in relationships?
post #2 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

I think it is healthy to want to step back and reevaluate the relationship. You might decide although you love each other that you are not "in love".
post #3 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

I went on a break with one of my boyfriends, and although it kinda seemed really hard at first, it was nice to get away and kinda clear the head. It made me think about things more because I took a step back and looked at the relationship from a different point of you then I would still being in it. And when we did end up together it was like. . amazing. Because it was like we were when we first started dating, so I think if you can get over the hurting bit at first it isn`t necassarily a bad thing.
post #4 of 13
I don't really believe in breaks. While I totally see what Vintage glam and Angela are saying, myself, I personally feel that you can't resolve a problem in your relationship by staying away from each other. I think if you really want it to work you should be working on the problems you have together.

I know I'm old fashioned, but that's what I believe. I guess it depends on the situation. I do think it's healthy to be apart, but also that it's an indication that something is seriously wrong.

Ok I'm going to stop now since I'm just contradicting myself, lol
post #5 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

I don't! We're either together or we're not.
post #6 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

What does taking a break mean? Does that mean you are still a couple and you have nothing to do with each other for a few months? Can you date/sleep with other people while you work things out?
Better get the ground rules in writing because you have to know that your partner is not going to view "a break" the same way that you do.

Personally, I don't believe in "taking a break" from a relationship. Either sit down and work out the problems or split up and find someone that you can have an even better relationship with.
post #7 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

I'm very old fashioned as well. I don't believe in breaks. The only situation I believe in a break is when its the basic ultimatum of a relationship and separation is in the near future. I don't want to be in a relationship where everytime we get into the hardships we feel we have to runaway from each other. It kinds defeats the whole purpose of dating which is usually when someone is in search for marriage and who wants a marriage with someone they can't depend on?
post #8 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

Originally Posted by jmgjmg623 View Post
I don't! We're either together or we're not.
I totally agree!
post #9 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

My husband and I took a break, basically we were just fighting too much/often and I decided to live with my parents for a while, and we were almost going to divorce. We were still going to be friends and try living together again, but we just weren't used to living together.

It worked because not even a week later he was all sweet again, like when we first met, and a month later he opened up with me A LOT. It wasn't like a "we're going to see other people" thing, it was more like we needed to realize we are better together and not apart.

We are doing soooooo much better now. I'm really glad he broke down and apologized because sometimes it might not feel like he cares, but I always rememeber that day when I realized he did.

Anyway, I'm not sure why he it's such a problem that you're not social. I think it would be cute if I was a guy and my gf was a little shy. As long as you aren't shy with him, it shouldn't bother him. Maybe a break for both of you to realize what you're missing MIGHT be a good thing. or you'll meet someone better or more compatible with you (no offense, I'm not trying to drive you to someone else).

I hope things work out, 2 years is quite a while because you're still young, but then again we've also just begun to live.
post #10 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

Originally Posted by Carolyn View Post
What does taking a break mean? Does that mean you are still a couple and you have nothing to do with each other for a few months? Can you date/sleep with other people while you work things out?
Better get the ground rules in writing because you have to know that your partner is not going to view "a break" the same way that you do.

Personally, I don't believe in "taking a break" from a relationship. Either sit down and work out the problems or split up and find someone that you can have an even better relationship with.
Yep, that's how I feel.
post #11 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

I tend to feel if your in a relationship and you need time apart maybe that person is not for you. IMO
post #12 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

Originally Posted by Adrienne View Post
I'm very old fashioned as well. I don't believe in breaks. The only situation I believe in a break is when its the basic ultimatum of a relationship and separation is in the near future. I don't want to be in a relationship where everytime we get into the hardships we feel we have to runaway from each other. It kinds defeats the whole purpose of dating which is usually when someone is in search for marriage and who wants a marriage with someone they can't depend on?
I totally agree
post #13 of 13

Re: Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?

I agree with the girls that said nope. I don't think breaks are necessary. Space, yes. Breaks? Not really. In some cases its right, but in most cases it isn't.

If your going to go on a break make sure you both know the rules as far as seeing, talking, dating other people may go.

I see a break as prolonging a break up thats going to happen, and that person is probably not for you. No offense. But again like the other ladies said, he's either with you fighting the battle, or he's not. It gets tough sometime, but those who are meant to make it through will. If you don't, remember everything happens for a reason. Don't let attachment bog you down in a bad relationship.
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