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Upsizing a little?

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I'm still panning, no worries. BUT, I'm obsessed with growing out my nails now. They're good nails, just get ruined at work so have to keep filing them. I bought a dyi gel polish kit. It's helping, but there is a learning curve, and the first few removal processes were tough on my nails. Still better than naked nails or regular polish, since it keeps them from always being soaked through and through with water and cleaner. I only wear clear gel for now. 

I bought a thing here and there apart from the gel kit, but it's stuff that's being used. 


 General trend is still spending more than necessary, still working on that.


Going from not smoking to smoking and back again frequently. I'm fine for weeks, then the crisis happens. Mostly I miss my five minutes alone with something to comfort me, I start eating even more and gaining weight, and the first couple of weeks of quitting again I become so weepy from flashbacks to my mother's cancer and grandfather's violence and things like that that I start to worry I won't be able to hold back tears at work. Nicorette gum made my ulcer bleed because I over-chew. You're supposed to bite into it a few times to release the nicotine, then store it in your cheek like a hamster. I kept chewing out of habit, and swallowing the nicotine. So had to quit those. The patch is more expensive, but next time I quit, I might try that. Or hopefully I'll be so tired of myself i'll quit cold turkey with no aid. 

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I wish you all the happiness and treats and enjoyment in the world. :flowers:

I can relate to flashbacks and tears at work. I get flashes when I wake up at night out of a deep sleep. And then I recall my stepfather died, my mom died, and it's been years now. It makes me feel so scared. Like I block it out the rest of the time. I'm not in total no buy control but not on a big binge any more either. I got better when my second job started back up. I don't feel that guilt and shame I was having before when I get things, and I have been getting fewer things without really trying. 

Be well my friend. 

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