Awww...sweetie.. I def know how you feel. When I was your age I was with someone who I was friends with first, and he knew everything about me, and I never had a friend like that, for real, I could be stupid around him and act myself and it was just perfectly normal and fine, and then one day it turned into a relationship and it was awesome. Then you know, things were rocky at the end, he was like "going thru something" and then eventually he dumped me. I was so surprised and shocked, like I would NOT get over it. I would cry and cry, and I was so depressed. I acted like a stage 3 at times, he lives over an hour away, and I drove to his house once because I could NOT shake missing him, every part of my being was hurting, so I sat outside his house, but I parked up the block and then when I saw him come home, I got out of the car.. and he was like "what are you doing??" He wouldn't even let me in and told me I had to go, and I was like, "but Mike!! I drove an hour!" and for the first time, he was mean to me. I thought he would have gave in and let me in. I also remember I had some gifts for him I never got to give him, so again, like a stage 3 clinger, I dropped them off at his house in front of his bedroom door (he had a seperate entrance). It would have been too painful for me to keep them, so I figured whatever.
I don't even remember how I stopped finally calling him and playing "cold as ice" and hanging up, and being stage 3 clinger, but I do know that I did join the gym, and I got a really great job in NYC and that kept me really busy. The gym was my everything at that time. I ended up making friends there, being able to work out for hours, eating there at the snack bar, I just ended up becoming so friendly with everyone it was like home and there was cute guys to look at! Of course, no one was like Mike.. but I had vowed to myself I will never let a guy hurt me like this again! And I didn't date for 6 years... but, I would have casual sex and then not call the guy back and think I was in control and I was the one hurting men now, but really looking back, I was totally hurting myself, but you live and learn!
You will be alright, and I know it's so annoying to hear, and I remmeber when I was younger someone once told me, "The older you get, the easier it becomes, and break ups don't really even phase you anymore" and it's the friggin truth. I have been with the same man for a couple years now, and he is just not what I want my husband to be and I just don't see a point in going on anymore if he is not going to live up to all his claims and promises, I'm too old to do this crap and I want a man who is already a man, and is what I would look for in a mate, not dealing with a man who is still trying to be a man and is trying to CHANGE in order to BE what I want in a man. At this point, it looks like I'm beating a dead horse, and for what? Cuz he's good looking? Shit, at this point, his looks are nothing when he is sitting in friggin jail, yeah how ghetto is that!
Anyways, I'll be praying for you girl!