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MALE v FEMALE AT THE ATM

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came across a version of this long time ago about getting out of an automated car park.

Ready ? Lets go

A new sign in the Bank reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined
below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed.
Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'






MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the ATM.

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off.

************************* ******
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth.!!)



1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance
from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back
page.

11. Enter PIN .

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.?

20. Reverse back to ATM machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 kilometres.

27. Release Hand Brake.

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Oh my goodness, I definitely relate to the backing up and forgetting about hand brakes...I back up all the time at the gas station. It's crazy! This definitely made me laugh, thanks so much!

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This is the Deareux method of ATM use:

 

1. Drive up to the atm LIKE A BOSS.

2. Roll down window with left hand, grab card with right hand.

3. Ninja-throw the card directly into slot (slightly exaggerated)

4. Press buttons.

5. Grab cash + receipt.

6. GO SHOPPING!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deareux View Post
 

This is the Deareux method of ATM use:

 

1. Drive up to the atm LIKE A BOSS.

2. Roll down window with left hand, grab card with right hand.

3. Ninja-throw the card directly into slot (slightly exaggerated)

4. Press buttons.

5. Grab cash + receipt.

6. GO SHOPPING!

I completely agree with step 6 :)

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I do everything in my power to avoid the reversing step, so I drive up slowly and extremely close to the edge, all while chanting "don't hit the curb, don't scrape the car, don't hit the car, don't be an idiot." lol.

 

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