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At what age did you start having children?

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My sister, brothers and most my friends, had kids young.  When I say young I mean 19 - 23.  I am 27 this year and can't even dream of having a child.  I don't know if it's a mind thing or what, but I still think I'm way too young to become a mother.  When my mother was my age she had three children already.  My sis is one year younger than me and she  has two!! 

 

Most of my friends keep saying, what's wrong with you?  Are you gonna wait till you are like 45?  I just nod and laugh it off but seriously, I can't see that happening now.  Maybe its fear or just plain selfishness ......or maybe it's the fact that I'm single (hehe).

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Most of my friends are married right now, some have one kid, some have two. That's a little abnormal for the rest of the country, but at my school, BYU, it tends to happen that early. I'm 20 and my friends are already asking me when I'm going to have kids.

 

I'm just not ready either. I agree with you, maybe I'll think differently when I'm 27 or 28, but I want to experience things first. Me and my husband want to travel to Europe and do fun things and have time together. He's a soldier, so deployment already takes away some of that time. I also want to finish my PhD, which will (at the earliest) be done when I'm 26. So I'm thinking I'll finish school and see how it goes.

 

People criticize me for wanting school first and not really wanting to have babies, but I'm not there yet. Maybe I'm just not the nurturing type because it really doesn't excite me.

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It seems like more people are having kids later these days which is totally acceptable.  My sister didn't have her first until she was about 33 or so.  I got preggo with my first when I was 26 but it was an accident (a good one).  I have a friend who has 3 boys and she's like 25/26 years old and her eldest is about 8 maybe a little older.  I also have a friend who got preggo our freshmen year of HS.  I have a lot of friend who are just not ready for kids, some are even married.

 

Don't let anyone pressure you into feeling bad about not having kids yet.  You'll have them when you're ready, if you want any at all!

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I got Pregnant at 19 had a misscarriage and Than Got pregnant & had my first daughter at 20!!  Than had my son 2 days after my 22nd Birthday!!!!!    I wasnt extremely young And although life would sure be easier had I waited later I love alot about having my kids young.

 

My mom had me at 18  & I remember loving the fact that in 6th grade my mother was & looked young while everyone elses mother looked like my Grandma.

 

I think its totally fine no matter what age you decide to have kids as long as your ready & do your best!!! 

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I know people who had children at 15 and I know women in their 40's having children now.  You do what's right for you.

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I had my daughter at 24. The only people I know who waited until they were in their mid 30's are my boyfriend's parents. If you're not ready then you're not ready. I don't like when people pressure anyone to have kids. They always ask me when I'll have my second. It's really no one's business. 

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More and more, women are having children later.  Professional women that I know are 30+ when they have their 1st baby.  I was 29 when my son was born and 34 when my daughter came.  There are many of my high class mates that had children early... I think they missed out on the partying and fun while they were young and are now sadly trying to make up for lost time in their 40's (sad).  I did my clubbing, partying, dating and fun in my early 20's instead of changing diapers.  I was more financially stable and willing to stay home with the baby and be a mom with some life experience and direction in my 30's.  Do whatever is right for you and your children.  Sometimes things just happen and you can't control those.  

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Most of my friends dont have children yet, but do want them a.s.a.p.

My mother had me when she was 17 (one month later she became 18 tho)

 

I just stopped taking birth control a few weeks ago. I just turned 23 in april and my boyfriend and I agreed that its time for us to make a baby.

I dont think 23 is young or anything.

My sister in law just turned 18 in april and she is 6 months pregnant. Thats a bit young I think, but its her life.

 

These days there are huge differences. Some woman have their first baby in their 30's and some have their first baby at a much younger age.

I think you should start having kids whenever you feel your ready :)

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Nothing wrong with having a baby - just make sure that you can afford to.

 

I waited until I was 28 AND I had graduated from college.

 

When my husband and I split up - I did not rely on any form of assistance. I had a decent paying job and could easily afford to raise my son and live comfortable.

 

Too many women don't take into account that they might have to raise the child or children without the assistance of the father or fathers.

 

They end up on assistance and the child or children go without - a very unnecessary struggle.

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Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post

 

Nothing wrong with having a baby - just make sure that you can afford to.

 

I waited until I was 28 AND I had graduated from college.

 

When my husband and I split up - I did not rely on any form of assistance. I had a decent paying job and could easily afford to raise my son and live comfortable.

 

Too many women don't take into account that they might have to raise the child or children without the assistance of the father or fathers.

 

They end up on assistance and the child or children go without - a very unnecessary struggle.

 

I know for me, I don't want to think about that possibility, but you're totally right. In my case especially. My husband is a soldier. I agree with you though as far as affordability goes, it used to drive me nuts when I'd have friends who would have kids knowing that government services would pick up their slack. It's one thing to use it because you really need it and didn't anticipate needing it, it's another thing when assistance is worked into the equation from the beginning.

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Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post

 

 

Too many women don't take into account that they might have to raise the child or children without the assistance of the father or fathers.

 

They end up on assistance and the child or children go without - a very unnecessary struggle.

 

That´s a very good point and something I always thought about. If the father of your child gest in a accident and dies, and you don´t have the education to get a good job and support your child yourself, what´s going to happen?

 

I`m almost 27, but nowhere near ready to have a baby, and people only jokingly ask me when I´m going to have a baby. I got married sort of young (25) for Austrian standards, so I think people are still shocked about that lol. My husband is from Texas, and 90% of his high school friends are married with children, but very few of them ever went to college, let alone graduated. I on the other hand only have one friend who has a baby, and one friend who is married. Crazy, right?

My mom had me at 24, and for her that was ok because she had already finished her education and was working in her dream job field. I recently graduated and want to work in my field for a couple of years, achieve some things for myself etc before I have a baby.

 

And I think about the financial aspects a lot! Not only do I want to be able to afford a baby, I also want to be able to give my child the same opportunities that I had. I want my child/children to be able to go overseas as exchange students, or study abroad during college, and I want to be able to pay for their college education. So naturally it will take years until my husband and I are financially stable enough for all of that, and it´ll take about the same time for me to mentally feel ready anyway...so that works out perfectly! biggrin.gif

 

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I was 34.... my wife was 32.... We waited 10 years because we couldn't afford them and a house.....

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andi View Post

 

I`m almost 27, but nowhere near ready to have a baby, and people only jokingly ask me when I´m going to have a baby. 

 


I know the feeling. I'm around your age and I'm not ready to have children yet. I want to live my life a little bit more before worrying about someone else's. Financially speaking, it really scares me too. My Dad had a high paying job when I was born so I benefit from it while I was growing up as opposed to my sisters. Since my boyfriend and I work full time and daycare on average costs 1200 a month, it'll overwhelm us really quickly. My mom had me late, she was 38 with no birth complications, so I'm not too worried. icon_cheesygrin.gif

 

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I had my first child at 27 - I was married at 25. I'm turning 34 in a month and although I'm sad we're done having babies, I'm glad to enter this new stage in life.  I have to say for the longest time I wasn't ready and then boom like overnight a switch flipped and boom I couldn't have a baby fast enough. I think its different with everyone. 

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I am 26 and just starting to think about a baby lots because I have an few incredible nephews I didn't have say five years ago when I never wanted children. I am not ready by any means mainly because I am still terrified and we are building a house soon so it will have to wait at least a year.

 

I was a terror for my mother and there are many things I will do differently and have done thus far as my mother was only 18 as well  I always knew if the same thing had happened to me it would disappoint her for sure that I had failed to get an education like she did. My mother went to college afterwards but there is no way I could do the same especially where I live. 

 

I don't think anyone is ever fully ready no matter how long they wait for one there is always some deep down internal fear. Some girls who choose to have children very young make out just fine as well so I think many stages in life are right it just depends on the person.

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I never really wanted kids.. then my sister got pregnant and just had one.. the idea kinda crossed my mind for a fleeting second...

 

and then today I got to talk to her after she had the baby..

 

she totally re-affirmed my belief that kids.. are not for me ha ha ha.

but I will spoil the nephew.

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Originally Posted by Its Only Nicole View Post

 

I never really wanted kids.. then my sister got pregnant and just had one.. the idea kinda crossed my mind for a fleeting second...

 

and then today I got to talk to her after she had the baby..

 

she totally re-affirmed my belief that kids.. are not for me ha ha ha.

but I will spoil the nephew.

 

Same for me, but it was my sister-in-law.  Very fleeting.  

 

I'm way too selfish for kids(I'm unable anyway).  However, I just dislike my nieces and nephew.  Too much noise and stress and breaking things.  My brothers kids do nothing but get into and break stuff.  Perfume bottles, wine bottles, electronics, etc.  They break it all, and I hate having to ask my brother to pick up the tab(but he damn well better!).  No thanks.

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Had my first just before I turned 19. Yes, he was planned, and I was with his father. I ended up leaving him when my son was nearly a year old due to the fact that he was a chronic alcoholic and wife-beater. I didn't want my son growing up around that, as I had as a child. My second baby came when I was around 22. That baby was not planned, and I knew I wasn't ready for a second after experiencing how much work even one child was. I was scared to death, hysterical, especially since his father walked out on me when he found out I was pregnant and shacked up with the woman he was screwing around with behind my back, but I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion, so I had my second son. I will say that I do not, however, judge anybody who chooses to have an abortion. I know it is a decision that can tear you apart and is rarely made lightly. Nobody should judge any woman who chooses abortion over giving birth. I do have to say, however, that as hard as it was bringing them up, I loved/love my kids more than anything or anybody and would kill for them. I was brought up in a very abusive family, so I was determined to not be an abusive mother myself. Thank god I succeeded in that, although I can't claim I was in any way a perfect mother. Nobody is, no matter how great they may think they are compared to their neighbor, whoever. We all screw our kids up to some degree, even though we may try our best, simply because we are all screwed up ourselves. Some more than others. There are, however, many people who definitely do NOT try their best. Those kinds of people I have no respect for. Like my own mother. And she is STILL a sad excuse for a mother who never should have had children.

 

My kids are now in their 20s, bigger than me haha :-)

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Thank you for that story.  I'm glad it worked out for you.  It usually does when you have a goal to be a good parent and work towards that goal. 
 

Originally Posted by afkhanadan View Post

Had my first just before I turned 19. Yes, he was planned, and I was with his father. I ended up leaving him when my son was nearly a year old due to the fact that he was a chronic alcoholic and wife-beater. I didn't want my son growing up around that, as I had as a child. My second baby came when I was around 22. That baby was not planned, and I knew I wasn't ready for a second after experiencing how much work even one child was. I was scared to death, hysterical, especially since his father walked out on me when he found out I was pregnant and shacked up with the woman he was screwing around with behind my back, but I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion, so I had my second son. I will say that I do not, however, judge anybody who chooses to have an abortion. I know it is a decision that can tear you apart and is rarely made lightly. Nobody should judge any woman who chooses abortion over giving birth. I do have to say, however, that as hard as it was bringing them up, I loved/love my kids more than anything or anybody and would kill for them. I was brought up in a very abusive family, so I was determined to not be an abusive mother myself. Thank god I succeeded in that, although I can't claim I was in any way a perfect mother. Nobody is, no matter how great they may think they are compared to their neighbor, whoever. We all screw our kids up to some degree, even though we may try our best, simply because we are all screwed up ourselves. Some more than others. There are, however, many people who definitely do NOT try their best. Those kinds of people I have no respect for. Like my own mother. And she is STILL a sad excuse for a mother who never should have had children.

 

My kids are now in their 20s, bigger than me haha :-)



 

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Thank you so much!  Things really do have a way of working out.  I'm glad it did for you :)

Originally Posted by afkhanadan View Post

Had my first just before I turned 19. Yes, he was planned, and I was with his father. I ended up leaving him when my son was nearly a year old due to the fact that he was a chronic alcoholic and wife-beater. I didn't want my son growing up around that, as I had as a child. My second baby came when I was around 22. That baby was not planned, and I knew I wasn't ready for a second after experiencing how much work even one child was. I was scared to death, hysterical, especially since his father walked out on me when he found out I was pregnant and shacked up with the woman he was screwing around with behind my back, but I couldn't bring myself to have an abortion, so I had my second son. I will say that I do not, however, judge anybody who chooses to have an abortion. I know it is a decision that can tear you apart and is rarely made lightly. Nobody should judge any woman who chooses abortion over giving birth. I do have to say, however, that as hard as it was bringing them up, I loved/love my kids more than anything or anybody and would kill for them. I was brought up in a very abusive family, so I was determined to not be an abusive mother myself. Thank god I succeeded in that, although I can't claim I was in any way a perfect mother. Nobody is, no matter how great they may think they are compared to their neighbor, whoever. We all screw our kids up to some degree, even though we may try our best, simply because we are all screwed up ourselves. Some more than others. There are, however, many people who definitely do NOT try their best. Those kinds of people I have no respect for. Like my own mother. And she is STILL a sad excuse for a mother who never should have had children.

 

My kids are now in their 20s, bigger than me haha :-)



 

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I first got married at 21 years old, and a year later at 22 I had my daughter, Layla (who is 5 months), and I am currently 2 weeks pregnant (I am 23 right now). But I say over 21 is OK. 

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i got my first child after 28yrs. now the child is about 2yrs...Am hoping to get two other kids before i reach menopause age...i hate going back to diaper changing when i am working on something else.

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