Bullied...

So I'm bullied a lot and I just need some advice on how to deal with it. I'm a teen so it really hits me crucially :/. Do any of you have any advice?

Firstly, are you a girl or guy?  Bullying is different for different genders.  

boys tend to be physically bullied and girls are psychologically bullied and they require different strategies.  Psychological bullying you can gain power over your aggressors by not giving them the power by getting upset or embarrassed.  If you take it in stride and appear completely unaffected, eventually, they will realize that their words have no power to affect you.  

Physically bullying requires more parental intervention or intervention of a teacher.

Both bullying, you need to tell someone.  Either a parent or a teacher or your friend's mom if you don't feel comfortable telling your mom.  

My son was victim of a bully but this bully was 6 when my son was 12.  She was a 6 year old disturbed girl who was upset with my daughter who was also 6.  She decided to pick on her older brother.  She would rush up to him and tell him how much she hated his sister and how she was such a spoiled brat.  She also told him that she knew he couldn't do anything to stop her.  She knew he was in a compromised position of either defending his sister from a 6 year old girl and possibly be in trouble with the teachers for confronting a 6 year old who was 1/2 his size and weight or just take it.

He chose to tell me and I had a talk with my daughter's teacher as well as his teacher so that they can straighten this out.  

Bullying comes in many forms.

Of course you want to tell your parents or teacher - an authority figure

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If someone tried to bully me, I'd punch them in the mouth...

The moment you let anyone try to control or manipulate you, that is the moment they will do it relentlessly until you stand up for your self.

You might get a whooping but you will also get their respect.

By the way - have the confrontation OFF school grounds. The last thing you want is to get suspended just because you stood up for yourself.

How would you have handled the bullying from a 6 year old as was the situation of my son's?

Originally Posted by Dragonfly /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Of course you want to tell your parents or teacher - an authority figure

...........................................................................................................

If someone tried to bully me, I'd punch them in the mouth...

The moment you let anyone try to control or manipulate you, that is the moment they will do it relentlessly until you stand up for your self.

You might get a whooping but you will also get their respect.

By the way - have the confrontation OFF school grounds. The last thing you want is to get suspended just because you stood up for yourself.

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I don't know your son - only you know how to handle your son's problems.

the strategy does depend on the way that you are being bullied.

Have you told anyone in authority? Are they supportive?  It might be hard to understand, and even harder to put into practice, but people can't psychologically bully you if you don't let them.  Part of the effectiveness of bullying is that you deep down believe what they're saying.  If they're telling you that you're ugly, stupid, etc. etc. and you know, deep down KNOW that you're a beautiful, intelligent person worth knowing, then their words have no effect.

I remember I was in high school and someone started a rumor that I was a slut.  When it got back to me I laughed my butt off!  I then went around saying, "Can you believe so-and-and-so called me a slut? Isn't that funny?"  See, I wasn't allowed to date in high school and graduated a virgin.

If you are being physically bullied, I can't tell you what to do, but I personally would fight back.  You might not win, but bullies are lazy and their cowards.  When they realize that you will fight back they'll find someone that is an easier target.  But do NOT initiate the fight. You must be defending yourself, or you could end up in a lot of trouble regardless of past interactions with the bully.

You know no parents want their children to get into a physical altercation.  The reality is sometimes as a kid you need to stand up to your bully.  I know i did that in 7th grade and as Carolyn said after he saw I would stand up to him,  he never bothered me after that.

But Divadoll I am surprised you would ask  someone else advice about your child?

Carolyn wrote she would have punched the bully.  I asked her how would she have responded to a bully who was a 6 year old girl and the victim was a 12 year old boy.  Some things are not cut and dry.  We did resolve this issue without a hitch as this happened over a year ago and the little girl was talked to.  I was more worried that this girl would become violent towards my daughter because she was the true focus of this disturbed girl's hatred.  
 

Originally Posted by Darla /img/forum/go_quote.gif

You know no parents want their children to get into a physical altercation.  The reality is sometimes as a kid you need to stand up to your bully.  I know i did that in 7th grade and as Carolyn said after he saw I would stand up to him,  he never bothered me after that.

But Divadoll I am surprised you would ask  someone else advice about your child?

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Like everyone has stated, I would tell my parents and get some advice from them. At the same time one thing that I learned  my hair was always done, I had a lot of friends and was well like. The girls would never say anything to me face to face but they would say some things to my friends like they were going to kick my butt, because I wasn't one that ran my mouth and talk mess they thought I was scary until it all came down to the girls calling themselves wanting to jump me and I was like come on bring it on. At that point they wanted to talk and I didn't I was ready to fight. Well nothing ever happen because they had a change of heart once they saw that the quiet girl could act a fool too. Sometimes you have to break out of your shell to let people know that they can not talk to you or treat you any ole kind of way. One thing about me is I would never start anything but I had no problem with finishing it. I would try and use every avenue I could in order to not have to fight like talking to your parents and telling the staff at school but if you have to fight or tell them off I would advice you to do so. Good luck!

"If someone tried to bully me, I'd punch them in the mouth"

Let's be very clear about just what I said - I said I would punch someone in the mouth that was trying to bully me.

And I certainly don't advocate that pre teen age boys assaulting little girls.

And I don't tell other parents how to solve their childen's problems.

To avoid this kind of confusion in the future, ask me for advice through a pm please - and only for sincere advice.

Originally Posted by divadoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Carolyn wrote she would have punched the bully.  I asked her how would she have responded to a bully who was a 6 year old girl and the victim was a 12 year old boy.  Some things are not cut and dry.  We did resolve this issue without a hitch as this happened over a year ago and the little girl was talked to.  I was more worried that this girl would become violent towards my daughter because she was the true focus of this disturbed girl's hatred.  

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If you were still experiencing a problem that's what I would have suggested to you. Talk to the parents.   A 6 year is hopefully  going to listen to their parents especially if some older boy is going to retaliate against her if her bad behaviour continues.   I am glad you were able to resolve your son's problems for him.

In the case of a teenager I am not so sure a parent's intervention is so helpful or even desired.  Things can just can get worse for them if that happens.

Thats really quite the dilemma as the parents if you met them would not inspire you to have such a conversation with them.  I think they both looked like they have issues themselves.  They moved away so I'm thankful.  It was my daughter than the little girl was after but decided to go after her brother instead.  She would taunt him by saying she could do anything and say anything she wanted but He could not do anything about it at all.  She know he could not retaliate against a little girl. I was afraid that oneday she would push my daughter into traffic or something.

Ok but i think the discussion should move away from discussing little kids and bullying.  I don't think this is very relevant to the original poster who is a teenager and is looking for ideas.

But it does show them that it comes in many shapes and forms and the original poster has not elaborated on theirs any further than the first post. 

Thats weird. I actually typed out like a whole paragraph update but I guess it never posted. That stinks

  I can't find your post stuck in a queue.  It'd be great if you can update.

I was bullied from Middle School till around my sophmore/junior year in HS.  : /

/emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  I was personally never bullied in school, my short temper and tendency to fight made sure of that, but my little brother was.. When he was younger... he was very very overweight and was born w/hip problems so he had like.. 9 surgeries before he was 3?  I remember when he was very young he walked liked a penguin and got made fun of.. When he got older he had to wear special shoes and one was taller than the other because one leg was severely shorter than the other.  Everytime though.. I heard someone say something about him.. I was right there in their face, making them back off.  He always knew his older sister would protect him.  By older I mean its like 2 and a half yrs difference.. I wasnt pushing around 9 yr old when I was 16...

I've had the occasional snide remark that made me feel excluded.  Most times I felt excluded because my parents did not allow me to do things other kids did and being immigrants, they did not care about fashion trends and could only buy me clothes that they thought were appropriate and affordable.  By the time I got to high school, I found my own place in the system and knew how to play the popularity game.