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ox0xbarbiex0xo

Wedding Regrets?

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My boyfriend and I will probably be getting married within the next year.  I've been tossing around some ideas for a wedding... big or small, indoor or outdoor, fancy or causal... Gosh. I don't know.  It's overwhelming!

 

My sisters (both were married within the last 5 years) were talking to me about their weddings and trying to give me advice based on their experiences.  One said to hire a photographer so you get nice pics (she had trusted a family friend to do it, and the pics weren't great).  The other said no open mic... lol!

 

What's something you regret doing/not doing in terms of your wedding?

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I was married years ago so (and divorced 4 years following).

I'll share what I wish we had done done more or had thought more about.

 

We didn't assign seats for the reception/meal. My folks ended up sitting at the rear table with friends and not the closes family members. The weren't upset but I was a bit disappointed.

 

I loved how we did all the invitations by hand / caligraphy. We saved a ton of money and really customized our wedding - definatly one of a kind.

 

The venue that had our reception had a PA system - we brought our own tapes of 40s swing jazz .

Music was perfect and didn't pay a penny or dj or band.

 

My husband was a professional cook/baker. He made a fake 3 layer cake out of styrofoam. Covered it with thick butter cream icing and flower petals. It looked beautiful.

We did a few pics of us cutting it, but other wise at the desert that was included with the meal. 

The cake probably cost no more that $15 and I'm being generous.

 

I got married at Justice of Peace, in Dec - so it was indoors.

We went to an indoor portrait studio to get 20+ pictures of me, him, and our two witnesses

The rest of the pics came from guests at the reception.

 

I like the idea of putting disposible cameras on tables so that guests can takes pics of the fun.

 

We got some help with the cost - my folks paid for the meals.

His folks paid for the open bar.

We had 42 plus us for 44 total so it wasn't to expensive.

 

Final advise - don't get worked up about the small stuff.

Weddings are like moving day - you never know what will screw up...but something always does.

So have a good attitude, relax, be beautiful, and remember that you are there to become a union to your partner.

Believe me, 5 years after the marriage, all the small details everyone sweats over will fade away.

 

 

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If i was to get married it would be very DIY and it would be very multi-cultural and entertaining. hehe.

or it would have to be two weddings - one Russian and one Chinese.

 

- i would create my own menu - have catering to cook it for me with my mom supervising - i want specific Russian dishes. hehe

- open bar and VODKA on every table

- somewhere on a farm where anything goes, where I can do ANYTHING

- create my own playlist of music that the performers could perform for me

- after-hours disco and taxi/hotel service for drunk people...and i expect lots of drunkenness. hehe.

 

I definitely would hire 2 photographers with different styles and one would have to shoot in film ( old school film )

I think the most money I am willing to spend is not on the dress or anything frivolous like that, but instead on photography, art, atmosphere, and of course. FOOOOD. I have quite the appetite. icon_cheesygrin.gif And I've been to many weddings with very little food and the last one I went to... NO ALCOHOL. whaaat? how is that OK? lol... doesn't fit with my culture.

 

The Chinese wedding would have to be banquet style - traditional - with my bfs family and friends.

With the Russian Cossacks and Chinese Dragons.. dancing together. LOL.

 

 

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My boyfriend and I are planning a Vegas wedding. Not the tacky Elvis thing. But at the Wynn they have a ton of packages there from $1500.00 to $35,000.00.

 

They do the flowers, the photos, have different venues in (and around) the hotel to choose from, some of the packages even pick you up from the air port in a limo drop you off at the hotel and then the day before the wedding they get a limo to drive you to get your marriage certificate. I think its the most easy way. Its not like we're going to do a destination wedding where people are forced to go to an island somewhere, and are forced to stay in a hotel that costs too much. In Vegas you have OPTIONS, people can come for three days and stay where ever they want.

 

I think that people get too caught up in weddings. The little pointless non sense details that won't matter in 3 years, you know. Just do what you think is right, what feels right for you and your husband to be! =)

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Bombdiggity - my brother just got married at the Grand Canyon. Everyone left in helicopters, from Vegas.

I didn't go but I hear that it was a lot of fun. I think each helicopter was $1500. They used two.

Only problem was there was a very narrow window of time to take pictures as there is no shading.

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Oh my!!! pricey
 

Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post

Bombdiggity - my brother just got married at the Grand Canyon. Everyone left in helicopters, from Vegas.

I didn't go but I hear that it was a lot of fun. I think each helicopter was $1500. They used two.

Only problem was there was a very narrow window of time to take pictures as there is no shading.



 

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$3000 is not too bad especially if your guests paid their own way to the destination wedding to Vegas already.  Take everyone to a buffet for reception and you're all done ;)

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*pssst*  I've planned tons of weddings... anything and everything goes.  Its all up to you.

 

Fondant is bitter sweet and tends to cost more.

 

There's a layer of cream icing then the fondant over it.  Its takes some workings which is why it tends to cost more, but is used when the weather is less than coorperative (outdoor weddings).

 

As far as a set price - it all depends on the cake and the baker - everyone charges their own rate.

 

 

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Dragonfly - That sounds like it would be fantastic, If I was more into outdoor weddings that would be something to consider. Plus I don't do well in the heat lol I'm an Air Conditioning girl 100% haha

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I'm am also quite the A/C girl.  And definitely not a bug-girl.  I HATE bugs!

 

 

I'm also kind of considering eloping (are you supposed to "consider" that or should it be spontaneous!?  lmao!), but I am worried that I'll regret that later on if I don't get the "wedding experience."  I also want to have the nice wedding pictures.  I suppose we could dress up and take them anyway, but it's not really the same.  Our "elopement plan" would be something like going away for a week, getting married there at a JP or something, honeymoon where ever we went, and then come back and have a party with family and friends.  Not technically an elopement because it wouldn't be a secret... Hmm...

 

Did you/Do you know anyone that has eloped?

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I have to ask, why consider eloping?  Because you want a private ceremony or because you want to lower your costs?

 

Originally Posted by ox0xbarbiex0xo View Post

I'm am also quite the A/C girl.  And definitely not a bug-girl.  I HATE bugs!

 

 

I'm also kind of considering eloping (are you supposed to "consider" that or should it be spontaneous!?  lmao!), but I am worried that I'll regret that later on if I don't get the "wedding experience."  I also want to have the nice wedding pictures.  I suppose we could dress up and take them anyway, but it's not really the same.  Our "elopement plan" would be something like going away for a week, getting married there at a JP or something, honeymoon where ever we went, and then come back and have a party with family and friends.  Not technically an elopement because it wouldn't be a secret... Hmm...

 

Did you/Do you know anyone that has eloped?



 

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Originally Posted by DreamWarrior View Post

 

 

Fondant is bitter sweet and tends to cost more.

 

There's a layer of cream icing then the fondant over it.  Its takes some workings which is why it tends to cost more, but is used when the weather is less than coorperative (outdoor weddings).

 

As far as a set price - it all depends on the cake and the baker - everyone charges their own rate.

 

 

Yeah I make fondant cakes myself but if they were cheap enough I'd pay someone to do it....it's so time consuming haha

 

 

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The thought of planning a ceremony is just so stressful.  All of his family does not live close, part of my family doesn't live close. There's a few things we need to wait on before we can actually start picking a date and everything but we're hoping to get married probably before summer 2012, so we won't have oodles of time to plan.  It's not that we want a private wedding, or a cheaper wedding.  We just want to get it done.  lol!  :)  We've been together for 3 years, and 2 of those years we spent living in different cities.  We just wanna be married.  lol

 

 

Originally Posted by DreamWarrior View Post

I have to ask, why consider eloping?  Because you want a private ceremony or because you want to lower your costs?

 



 



 

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Then nooooo - not cheap at all.  If you can do it - do it yourself - bakers charge more for fondant.
 

Originally Posted by Bonnie Krupa View Post



Yeah I make fondant cakes myself but if they were cheap enough I'd pay someone to do it....it's so time consuming haha
 

 



 

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For the sake of just getting it done, then I dont recommend eloping.  My girlfriend did it and she regrets it - she ended up doing a full blown reception to make up for it and ended up not saving a dime (which was her initial reason for eloping).

 

There are a few options for you:

 

1 - small wedding at the justice of the peace either at the location of the party (my recommendation) or in "town hall" since you're low on planning time.

 

2- destination wedding (since everyone lives in seperate places, why not just "go" somewhere)

 

3- at home (I dont recommend, puts too much stress on the bride)

 

The best experience I had with brides that didnt want to do too much, didnt want to spend too much, and didnt want a big ordeal but still wanted something nice was the desitnation wedding.  If you do something, say with Sandals - they provide you a wedding planner that basically does all the work for  you.  You just have to invite the guests (which can be the mose stressful thing you do).  Everyone pays their own way to the wedding and all you are providing is a great party at a great location.  Most destination wedding give a 20% turn out... in-other-words, if you invite 100 people to your wedding, probably 20 will actually go. 

 

The pressure will be off of you because you invited everyone, and if they can't make it, then that's on them. 

 

Originally Posted by ox0xbarbiex0xo View Post

The thought of planning a ceremony is just so stressful.  All of his family does not live close, part of my family doesn't live close. There's a few things we need to wait on before we can actually start picking a date and everything but we're hoping to get married probably before summer 2012, so we won't have oodles of time to plan.  It's not that we want a private wedding, or a cheaper wedding.  We just want to get it done.  lol!  :)  We've been together for 3 years, and 2 of those years we spent living in different cities.  We just wanna be married.  lol

 

 



 



 

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Originally Posted by ox0xbarbiex0xo View Post

 

  We've been together for 3 years, and 2 of those years we spent living in different cities.  We just wanna be married.  lol

 

 

 

 

 

Did you live super far apart?

 

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We lived probably about 6.5 hrs (driving) apart.  In addition to that, I work M - F, and he was working W - Sun.  We just COULD NOT see each other.  lol
 

Originally Posted by Bonnie Krupa View Post




Did you live super far apart?

 



@Dream - Yeah, I guess a destination wedding wouldn't be too bad.  Would it be lame to have a U.S. destination wedding though?!  lol  I should google it.  :-P 

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If I ever get married again, I'm going to have a nice little gathering in a small venue or back yard.

It will be an afternoon affair with a justice of the peace, cake, sandwiches and wine - no hard core alcohol or big meals.

It would start at 1 and end by 4 - enough time to get the guests there and then on their way home again.

They wouldn't have to worry about hotel rooms.

 

My groom and I would each have a witness - otherwise no one else in wedding party.

I could easily do this wedding for $2,500, including my outfit.

 

 

 

 

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I don't think eloping is a goo idea either, I agree with Dream on #2 go somewhere and give people who live close and far the option to come. Then your not snubbing anyone, everyone will have a great time at your wedding and they'll get the added bonus of a vacation after your wedding. Thats why my boyfriend and I are going to get married in Vegas. I have a super small guest list (less then 50 people) and his would be nearing (or maybe more than) 250 people. We don't want to have that typical big hoopla european wedding here. We wanna do what we wanna do how we wanna do it (in vegas) and who ever wants to come is more then invited.

 

As for the local people who live near us who may not be able to attend we're going to have a small engagment party here before the wedding, and I'm assuming a bridal shower blah blah blah. lol I just don't want all the drama of a massive wedding. Plus I don't want to rake mine and his parents over the coals financially.


 

Originally Posted by ox0xbarbiex0xo View Post

The thought of planning a ceremony is just so stressful.  All of his family does not live close, part of my family doesn't live close. There's a few things we need to wait on before we can actually start picking a date and everything but we're hoping to get married probably before summer 2012, so we won't have oodles of time to plan.  It's not that we want a private wedding, or a cheaper wedding.  We just want to get it done.  lol!  :)  We've been together for 3 years, and 2 of those years we spent living in different cities.  We just wanna be married.  lol

 

 



 



 

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We had set a wedding date for 1 year after our engagement (it was for June).  I made no plans.  That June, we did visit some friends and their children asked if we were getting married.  We replied yes.  The children talked to their parents and a week later, they called and offered to plan and host our wedding.  Being close family friends, they were so excited to hear the news that she offered to interview the officiate and host the wedding.  All we had to do was show up!  As they owned an very old hotel, they able to provide the venue.  We arrived the day before, the morning of the wedding, we asked the children to go thru the neighbourhood and pick wild flowers.  Although it was raining in the morning, the sun came out an hour before our wedding.  Everything fell into place and that was almost 15 years ago :)

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I love old homes and I love the beach area so I decided that if I was to get married again I'd do it in this old town that is about 3 hours away from my home.  I consider it a destination wedding since most people will have to spend the night there - and who wouldnt since it's at the beach.   So, a destination wedding within the U.S. is fine - even if its a few hours away.

 

@Divadoll - that sounds sooo romantic.

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