New at this and needs help! XD

Hi Fellow MUTs!

I just got engaged and now, I'm not sure where to start! We played around with dates and are planning to have a winter wedding next year.. is 14 months enough? Where do you start? We've looked at budgets... and it seems we would only have at most 30k to spend on the entire wedding... is that enough?! but first... I really need to know where to start? Any advices would be awesome!

Thanks!!!

eLLah~ (I'm sooooo excited I almost wrote exclamation throughout this post XD)

Congratulations!

When I got married 19 years ago, this is what we needed to spend money on:

Wedding announcements and stationary

Justice of the peace - we got married at the court house

Professional photographer

Venue/hall to eat and dance

supplies and flowers to decorate

Food for guests

Alcohol for guests

Wedding rings and engagement ring

His new suit and tie

My dress, shoes and accessories

**my brides maid already had a dress so no cost there

gifts for her and best man

Hair styles for her and me.

Honeymoon - we drove to Niagara Falls/Toronto

hotels, meals, souvenirs - for five days

As you can see, this is a pretty basic list. I probably missed a few things on it.

My wedding probably cost no more than 8,000

My advice is to look at where you want to spend the most money

- might be your dress, venue, food, photography, cake, flowers

Go to halls, caterers, wedding dress stores and ask for quotes

Sit down with the groom and see how much you will hypothetically spend.

If you have 10,000 left, then price the smaller stuff.

See if you can get some things done free, to save money

- a friend does your hair, as an example

How we saved:

The justice of the peace was $50, I had silk flowers and my mom made the bouquets and centre pieces, my husband knew caligraphy so he did all the invitations by hand.

And we had a "fake' center piece cake, that he did as well.

His uncle did our pictures as a gift.

The venue let us use their sound system - we played swing jazz/Glen Miller kind of music

We bought a case of wine back from Quebec, instead of having the venue's wine with the open bar.

And we had a cheapie honey instead of flying somewhere.

I think that 30,000 will get you a very nice wedding

Just remember not to sweat the small things

Let people help you out:

Assign an individual task to each family member - mom helps with the florist, sister helps with the cake, etc

They will enjoy helping you and you still get to keep control of your wedding.

Hope this helps

@ Dragonfly: OMG... Thanks so much for the break down of things, I really appreciate you taking the time for this. It helps to see a real life example and you have some great saving tips! I want the wedding to be sweet and simple!~ I'm going to have to sit down with the fiance (ahhhhh it's not boyfriend anymore!!!) and talk to him about them XD I think its a good idea to assign task for people, except i'm not much of a leader and is dependent on others for 'guidance...' and so far our mums (his and mine) are not giving much suggestions. Neither want to decide on any of the basic and it just feels wrong for me to decide everything...

Ooohhh, I gota question for you,how many people did you invite for the wedding? We guestimated ours to be about 120 family members... so that doesn't even include the friends... Would 30K then be enough for 150 people? My mother freaked me out by saying Chinese weddings are expensive... ahhh.... 

Thanks again for your reply =)

eLLah

Hi

Our wedding was quite small - we had 45 people if I can recall.

Why not pick a venue/hall that the two of you would like to hold the dinner/dance.

Make an appointment with the manager - see if they can provide the meals.

If so, look at their menu and select 2 different entree for the guest to choose from - chicken, beef or seafood (also consider a few that might be vegetariens).

Look at the average cost per person for entree, desert, roll and butter.

If this is $25 per person, and you want to invite 150, then you would be looking at $3750 just for the main meal.

Also consider appetizers before the meal, cost of 3 alcoholic drinks per person, etc. Might be another 25 per person, so another $3750.

And these costs may just be for the food - how much is renting the venue for the night plus the cost for all the servers.

Do they include a DJ or is that someone you need to interview and hire.

Make sure that whoever supplies your food for the wedding gives you a sample so you know exactly how everything will taste.

This holds true for the wedding cake too.

..................................................................

To get an idea for the total cost, talk to your fiancee about what he would like - dj, limo, wedding night hotel room, venue, etc.

Let him know about everything you want - let him know about the cost of the dress you want.

Talk to each of the managers and just get quotes - don't commit yet until you go over all your finances.

30,000 might be reasonable, but always plan for mishaps and unexpected costs.

- putting guests in hotels, paying for their taxis, that kind of thing.

................................................................

The reason I like to assign tasks is because everyone is going to get really drawn into your wedding and will offer lots of ideas.

You might see that your mom /sister/sister in law might start to take over a bit.

This is a way to ensure that it is your wedding and your day.

If you aren't getting that responce, asking for help for just one area each will draw people in.

To be honest, I got a lot of help from my mom but not from my mother in law.

But my mother in law is more traditional and wanted us to do specific things like hand each guest a thank you gift at the reception, for attending the wedding.

.

Hope this helps

I'm curious, if you are going to wear a traditional chinese wedding outfit/dress or something modern?

Are you planning to have two weddings? If not, I think it will cost you 15-20k.

I've been to many traditional Chinese banquet style weddings with 7-8 course menu... the price seems to be in the food and cakes.

Hmm. I'm curious about the price. My bf of 5 years is Chinese and if we ever get married, his family will want Chinese wedding.
and my family hates seafood! Oh dear... I will have to have two weddings.

Originally Posted by eLLah /img/forum/go_quote.gif

@ Dragonfly: OMG... Thanks so much for the break down of things, I really appreciate you taking the time for this. It helps to see a real life example and you have some great saving tips! I want the wedding to be sweet and simple!~ I'm going to have to sit down with the fiance (ahhhhh it's not boyfriend anymore!!!) and talk to him about them XD I think its a good idea to assign task for people, except i'm not much of a leader and is dependent on others for 'guidance...' and so far our mums (his and mine) are not giving much suggestions. Neither want to decide on any of the basic and it just feels wrong for me to decide everything...

Ooohhh, I gota question for you,how many people did you invite for the wedding? We guestimated ours to be about 120 family members... so that doesn't even include the friends... Would 30K then be enough for 150 people? My mother freaked me out by saying Chinese weddings are expensive... ahhh.... 

Thanks again for your reply =)

eLLah

Click to expand...

Not sure about Toronto, but looks like in Vancouver the prices for Chinese banquet style dinner range from $400 to $1,000 per table of 10 people. That's $6k-15k for food for 150 people.

I've been to weddings over 200 people, both Asian and Western, I believe the price range was $30k-40k. lol. Not cheap.

oh, and CONGRATS!!!

Congratulations.

I tell my hosts to always start with a guest list.  Why?  Cause then you'll know where you stand budget wise.  You'll have a different wedding when planning for 45 than when you're planning for 200 guests.

Tell your parents, your fiance, your in-laws to write down a preliminary guest list and give them a week to do it.  Make sure they include everyone they want to attend.  Writing down Mr. Jones is very different from Mr. Jones and his girlfriend and their 20 year old kid. 

Once you have the guest list down (say 200 people) you can then start looking at venues.

There's no point in looking for venues now since most venues cater to a certain number of guests.  I would hate for you to fall in love with a place that has a minimum of 300 guests or a max of 50.

Also, if you love this type of stuff - then you can plan your wedding on your own... however, if you're not much of negotiator, not a big decision maker, easily stressed out - your money will be well spent on a wedding planner.  They charge an average of 10% of your budget and they have all the business know-how to maximize your money... however, if you can handle it - then save the $$ for something else.

Hi girls!! Sorry I've been neglecting MUTs lately, been busy, not planning for wedding but fussing over some baby showers for coworker and best friend~ ahhh so now I reply... haha..

@ Dargonfly: for the dresses, I would like to do both a white dress/gown for the beginning, and change into the traditional dress later on at night... I always wanted to wear a 'qi pao' (aka chinese red dress) hopefully I will find an affordable wedding dress that I love and be able to rent the traditional dress in my size~~~ Currently, the fiance doesn't have much to say about the wedding... I'm thinking maybe it would be easier just to elope, get married, and then come back and have a big dinner with everyone... haha (if my parents or his parents would allow it...)

@ musingmuse: thankfully we only have to one wedding reception... unfortunately it would have to be 'chinese' food... I'm really starting to think I'm not the one getting married because I can't even choose the food I want to serve (both our fathers only eats chinese food...) two receptions sounds painful tho...~~ On a different note: congrats on your 5 years /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> 

@ dreamwarrior: Thank you so much for your advice, a wedding planner might be what I need (if I can afford it) Then again, maybe I can get friends to help me plan, because I am not a big decision maker, I can't negotiate and as you pointed out... the stress factor... I can take very little of...(how will I survive in this world??)