Teenage Behaviour

My son is now 14.  I've notice dramatic behavioural changes in him that he did not exhibit earlier.  He's become more private and he tends to stay in his room much more than he did.  He had also been snapping at his sister. He's spending hours and hours in contact with his new girlfriend (not in person but on phone, texting, skyping).  He also surprised us with a $250 overage charge on texting!!!  We asked for and he did pay for this charge and now we switched to unlimited text. 

I have expressed my displeasure with this behaviour and slowly, we are working thru this.  

Anyone with teenage children, did you notice such a drastic change in behaviour?  What have you done to modify this or are you just accepting this as a growing pain?  

Yup.  I am on daughter #2 going through this phase, much worse than the first.  They need their privacy BUT, we set limits.  She has to be out with the family at certain times and we put limits on phone and computer use.  That seems to have made things better, at least for us ;-) 

It is funny how it seems that they would rather text and Skype each other than actually talk?  Go figure.

Debby

It's normal. My friends still get surprise bills at $1000 - all because of data use, txting, etc.

Blame the technology! Blame facebook...sigh...it ruins social lives....by making youth care only about their status updates. No more real life contact...even phoning is weird. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I haven't had a phone call from a friend in a month. Only my mother phones me. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

10 years ago, I am now 24, there used to ICQ, chatrooms, msg boards, then MSN instant msging...

now its Facebook msging and status updates, etc. etc. I only talk on Facebook / via email. My boyfriend calls me once every few months. The rest is email and txting.

I felt UNCOMFORTABLE talking on the phone, and had to take courses on how to talk well in real life. Can you believe it?

I started using the internet to communicate when I was 12. Sigh...

My children have always had privacy but not to the point where they have become a recluse.  This was a new development.  Phone and computer has now been limited to 9:30 and any overage will mean a shortage the next day ie. If he was still on at 10pm when I notice, he'll have to be off his computer by 9 the next day. Skype is an internet phone so he does talk on the 'phone'.
 

Originally Posted by Debglam /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Yup.  I am on daughter #2 going through this phase, much worse than the first.  They need their privacy BUT, we set limits.  She has to be out with the family at certain times and we put limits on phone and computer use.  That seems to have made things better, at least for us ;-)

It is funny how it seems that they would rather text and Skype each other than actually talk?  Go figure.

Debby

Click to expand...

What did your friends do with about the $1k bill they got?  Did the make their child pay for it or take their phone away?  My husband talked to Bell and they lowered the bill by removing the charges for the incoming texts - thats $125 difference.

Originally Posted by musingmuse /img/forum/go_quote.gif

It's normal. My friends still get surprise bills at $1000 - all because of data use, txting, etc.

Blame the technology! Blame facebook...sigh...it ruins social lives....by making youth care only about their status updates. No more real life contact...even phoning is weird. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I haven't had a phone call from a friend in a month. Only my mother phones me. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

10 years ago, I am now 24, there used to ICQ, chatrooms, msg boards, then MSN instant msging...

now its Facebook msging and status updates, etc. etc. I only talk on Facebook / via email. My boyfriend calls me once every few months. The rest is email and txting.

I felt UNCOMFORTABLE talking on the phone, and had to take courses on how to talk well in real life. Can you believe it?

I started using the internet to communicate when I was 12. Sigh...

Click to expand...

My friends, in their early to mid 20s, are just like kids, they still mess up their phone bills...and often end up paying a lot of $$$ for going over the limit. It's too easy ...surf the internet at work all the time.. instead of working. 

I'm glad you managed to lower the bill with Bell. I'm currently with Telus, but no smartphone nor iPhone for me. Although, i will have to get one very soon...some people expect me to check my email 24/7. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by divadoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif

My children have always had privacy but not to the point where they have become a recluse.  This was a new development.  Phone and computer has now been limited to 9:30 and any overage will mean a shortage the next day ie. If he was still on at 10pm when I notice, he'll have to be off his computer by 9 the next day. Skype is an internet phone so he does talk on the 'phone'. 

What did your friends do with about the $1k bill they got?  Did the make their child pay for it or take their phone away?  My husband talked to Bell and they lowered the bill by removing the charges for the incoming texts - thats $125 difference.

I bought a phone that didn't require a data package.  I had the web browser disabled.  My son had purchased his phone outright but no data package for his either. We did have 500 text but now we have unlimited.  We don't have internet connection at work   which sucks! but I guess I'd be surfing too if I did have it.  

I think if they want you to get a data package, they should pay for it for you /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Originally Posted by musingmuse /img/forum/go_quote.gif

My friends, in their early to mid 20s, are just like kids, they still mess up their phone bills...and often end up paying a lot of $$$ for going over the limit. It's too easy ...surf the internet at work all the time.. instead of working. 

I'm glad you managed to lower the bill with Bell. I'm currently with Telus, but no smartphone nor iPhone for me. Although, i will have to get one very soon...some people expect me to check my email 24/7. 

Click to expand...

Being a teenager is probably the hardest stage in life to get through. We've all been there. Some luckily get by smoothly enough and some have a harder time. I have several friends going through the same thing with their kids and even my own dentist has shared stories with me of how difficult her son is at this moment (he's 15). It can definitely be hard on the parent or parents too. Teenagers and their cell phones. It's as if they're physically incapable of putting them down. It is very important that your son realizes how hard you work to provide for him and that money doesn't grow on trees. It's great that you made him pay for that overcharge fee and switched his plan to unlimited texting. Try to be firm and not let him walk all over you. Teenagers can be master manipulators when they want something! Just remember this kind of behavior doesn't last forever, they eventually grow up to be completely stable adults!

When we got our daughter her mobile we took out a pay as you go plan - that way she can't go over and if she wants to she'll need to pay for it herself. Teenagers can be really difficult. My friend had a teenage stepdaughter who hates her and goes out of her way to make her life miserable!

Kids can be challenges, but it sounds like what he's doing is pretty normal. It's just important for you to set limits. Teens push your limits because they want them set, they don't know how to stop themselves so we have to step in and give them the correct boundaries. And then they are angry. And as parents we can't take it personally, yes, much easier said then done, but if we take it personally then we get caught up in their drama, and our job is to lessen the drama instead of escalate it. They will try to get you involved and on the defensive, but don't let them. It's not easy, but it is something we signed up for when we decided to have children. I am going thru unspeakable issues with my son right now, ones that are determining his life onward from this time into his adult life and even still, I have hope and know that I will always be his biggest advocate and protector. We have to be.

Not quite a child. Not quite an adult. Horribly inbetween. 

I think that they have to know that you are still the parent and your word is law BUT you respect that they are no children and you will not fight them over every detail. Don't sweat the small stuff. Sounds like this is what you are doing.

That's normal, he is really young and need some time just for himself. Just keep an eye on him and don't let him stay alone for too long, I mean, not always.

In my opinion, different teens react in different way in this age but still it is common. As a mother of a teen, I always try to check my teen's phone activity without installing any app because now, they can easily notice that they are being monitored. Though checking their message and social media activities is little odd nowadays but as a concerning mother I don't compromise on the outside activities. That's why I always prefer to track teen's location without any application with iPhone. Similarly, iPhone offer a variety of parental control systems that would help you to know what he is doing.

I think parenting is very hard nowadays especially if you are a parent of a teen.