Long Distance Relationships

Makeuptalk.com forums

Help Support Makeuptalk.com forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Joined
Apr 19, 2011
Messages
5,971
Reaction score
77
I have been dating a guy that lives about 8 hours away from me (i actually met him on here hehe) and it's been SO hard.  Has anyone been in a long distance relationship that can give me some tips on how to deal?   I'm moving in with him in Feb but it seems like that days are going by so slow.  We try to see each other at least 1 a month but we both get so depressed when we're apart.  We try to skype every day and we talk  on the phone/text all day long.

 
8hrs??? wow!  

For 4 years, my DH worked out of town (different locations). We saw each other 4 days every 14 or 7 days every 21 days.  It's hard but if you are working towards a common goal, then it'll be ok and time goes by fast.  We also had a 2.5 year old son at that time so it was even harder.  

MSN video chat is good and you get to see as well as talk with each other.  I would be a little weary of moving in with someone if you start with a long distance relationship.  Maybe you can start by finding your own place close by?  You have a young daughter to consider as well (excuse the mothering). It was difficult seeing him everyday after living that long distance life for 4 years. 

 
I personally can't do long distance relationships. My husband, before we were married, had to move to the city I was in at the time we were seeing each other. I made more money than him at the time, so that's how we decided who would do the moving. I told him that if we weren't in the same city, I couldn't continue the relationship and left it up to him. We obviously ended up getting married, and have been together 7 years now. Glad be made the decision to move :)

 
Originally Posted by divadoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif

8hrs??? wow!  

For 4 years, my DH worked out of town (different locations). We saw each other 4 days every 14 or 7 days every 21 days.  It's hard but if you are working towards a common goal, then it'll be ok and time goes by fast.  We also had a 2.5 year old son at that time so it was even harder.  

MSN video chat is good and you get to see as well as talk with each other.  I would be a little weary of moving in with someone if you start with a long distance relationship.  Maybe you can start by finding your own place close by?  You have a young daughter to consider as well (excuse the mothering). It was difficult seeing him everyday after living that long distance life for 4 years. 
4 years eeeeeks.  that must of been terrible!   I'm really actually not that worried about moving in with him.  We both have the same personality and we communicate so often I know how he is.   Maddi situation is already taken care of so I'm not worried about that either.  It's beeen talked over and talked over to death.   Like msn that's what we do with skype, video chat :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />    I really hope time starts going by a lot faster.  I saw him 2 weeks ago and it seems like 2 months :p /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
Originally Posted by satojoko /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I personally can't do long distance relationships. My husband, before we were married, had to move to the city I was in at the time we were seeing each other. I made more money than him at the time, so that's how we decided who would do the moving. I told him that if we weren't in the same city, I couldn't continue the relationship and left it up to him. We obviously ended up getting married, and have been together 7 years now. Glad be made the decision to move :)

awwww  that's so sweet ♥

 
I met my boyfriend on a video game. We were long distance for the first year together. We were also 8 hours apart (Me in FL, him up here in GA) and we only got to see each other 5 times during that year. It was rough, and we didn't have video chat. But sticking through it was the best decision I ever made. I moved on our 1 year anniversary (because he was in school and, at the time, I was not). We have been living together now for 3 1/2 years! Stick it out. It's worth it and you will be closer because of it.

 
No more gamer bf??? =oO 

My fianceé and I live in different states. . . Which is completely horrifying at times! But as long as you both put the effort into letting the other know they are still important, it's all good.

 
My S/O and I lived an hour away and I thought that was bad! LOL!  Wow.  We ended up moving in together about a solid 4 months of dating every weekend.  He moved in with me and actually it was just a gradual move in since all his stuff little by little stayed with me. LOL.  The official move in with furniture and all was about a year after we met.

Its not easy, but you'll get through it.  I agree with Divadoll - having a common goal is great advice.

 
Originally Posted by Basketcase824 /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I met my boyfriend on a video game. We were long distance for the first year together. We were also 8 hours apart (Me in FL, him up here in GA) and we only got to see each other 5 times during that year. It was rough, and we didn't have video chat. But sticking through it was the best decision I ever made. I moved on our 1 year anniversary (because he was in school and, at the time, I was not). We have been living together now for 3 1/2 years!

Stick it out. It's worth it and you will be closer because of it.
omg that must have been like torture!  happy to hear everything has worked out :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

thanks for all the advice everyone :) /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 
Bonnie's gonna be my new neighbor
icon_cheers.gif


 
Bonnie, I met my BF on MUT as well. Had me a bit nervous until I saw your profile pic...

We are about 8 hours apart, so I know how you feel.

Good luck with the transition of moving in together.

My friend and I will remain apart for now  - he's in the US and I'm in Canada - not so easy to relocate for either of us.

 
My husband is the sweetest, least selfish guy I ever met in my life, quite honestly. We also met online, got to know each other over 2 months of chatting and phone calls. We lived about 14 hours of a hellish train ride apart at the time, both in Indonesia. WÄ¥en my summer holiday came up from teaching, I stopped over there so we could meet in person. I expected the worst, but thought I couÅ‚d always leave within 48 hours to my originally planned destination to visit my friends if things didn't work out, or if he was a closet psycho. He ended up being every good thing he was online, and then some. I spent 2 weeks there, with him taking me along on his job, on call 24/7. He was a crÄ«me reporter at the time, so I got to see him in many different lights, in many situàtions. After a great experience, I had to go back home to Jakarta to work again. After a month of that, I just thought, if we're gonna do this, let's either do it or drop it. We obviously were planning on gêtting married at some point, even then, but I Äouldn't do it until we moved in together. Which can be quite dangerous there with the reliÄious fanatics. It really happened that quickly. I told him, I'll give you a month to decide if you're gonna move or not, but after that, I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to put myself through this emotionally. Fortunately, he made the right choice haha :) I knew, though, that he loved me, even then. We both knew that even before we met in person, I think. But I needed to sêe if he was the same person on a day to day basis, so wanted to live together before I could seriously consider getting married to him. We're both from very different cultures, and in his, men are generally extremely sexist, especially when they feel they have ownership of their women. Thankfully, he didn't pick up that sh1tty part of his culture :) and he's still the same to this day. He admits to having occassional internal fits of jealousy sometimes, but he meditates to get through it - he's Buddhist now - and has never given me even the slighteßt bit of grief over it. He realizes it's his upbringing/societal surroundings, not something I'm dÅing, and handles it maturely. I had a very bad experience years before I met him, with a guy from the same culture, who nearly killed me after we got married. Found out too late he had been married before and nearly killed his first wife, scarred her for life, and that he was pretty much a walking, talking male slut and pathological liar. Complete psycÄ¥otic pig. That taught me some major lessons. #1) No long distance relationshÄ«ps and #2) absolutely NO marriage before living together for at least a couple of years. And because of the psycho pig, I appreciate my current husband and his limitless kindness, faithfulness, respect, along with the complete absence of sexism in his actions towards me even more. Anyways, good luck with your own situation and hope things work out for the best :) I know from previous relationships that it ain't easy....

 
I met my husband when he worked in the city I went to University in, in Austria. He worked there for a year, and we met online (myspace was still cool back then lol), but met up in real life only 2 weeks after. We were dating for about 9 months before he had to leave. Neither of us really wanted to continue this as a LDR (because of the low chances of it working out long term), but we missed each other so much, and felt like the other person was "The One", so we just had to try it.

What followed was 4 1/2 years of long distance relationship, which included me finishing university in Austria, him continuing to work overseas and then being back in the US. We got married in 2010, which was followed by the ordeal & paperwork of getting a visa to the US. Mostly due to schedule differences & me being a poor student we could only see each other between 1-3 times a year, usually for about 3-4 weeks at a time. Everybody asked me how I handled it, but I can´t answer it. A lot of times I couldn´t handle it, but what was my choice? Letting this wonderful man go just to date someone local?

All of that is behind us now, I´m with him in the US and we´re happy. Everybody was concerned about this huge adjustment period of living together (we were never able to live together besides those short visits), but honestly it´s been a breeze. Missing my family back home is the much bigger issue, but I have no regrets.

For me, this wasn´t a naive fantasy of being with Prince Charming (which a lot of people probably suspect when it comes to LDRs). I finished university and we each had to live our own lives (while still trying to include the other person in it as much as possible).

We didn´t get engaged before we felt like we really knew each other. We made it through misunderstandings, fights, insecurities, pain, missing each other and all the stuff that normal couples go through. The fact that we went through that on the phone, in e-mails and on skype over this distance (which makes these things so much harder) and still managed to love & cherish each other & stay faithful to each other is more than enough proof for me that this is REAL. Anybody who had doubts about us (some of my family member didn´t even come to our wedding & had lame excuses for not attending) should walk a mile in my shoes and see if their relationships make it LOL.

I can´t really give much advice, because you seem to be doing everything right. As much as you´re in love, you gotta have realistic expectations. Keep in touch as much as you can, but don´t concentrate your entire lives on each other - you´ll go crazy if you do. At first it´s incredibly hard (I cried so much during my LDR & felt incredibly lonely most times), and I think most LDRs break off in that period, when you wonder why you´re putting yourself through so much trouble, pain & heartache. But if it´s meant to be, if the other person really is The One, it WILL work out!!!

Sorry this post is so long, but I always felt like it´s incredibly reassuring to hear stories of successful LDR when you feel down & you´re missing your partner. During my LDR, I was in e-mail contact with 2 girls from my country who were also in relationships with guys from the US. I felt like they were the only people who could really relate, because they were going through the exact same things I was going through. And both of them are also married & living with their husbands now!

 
My fiance and I did about 1.5yrs long distance. We met when we were both on holidays in New Zealand. He was from CA and I was from Australia. During that time we spent every weekend chatting on msn. I'm not going to say it was easy because it was really tough. I visited a few times and he came to Australia too. The hardest part was the time differences, it was almost opposite - day here, night there. In the end you just think, is this person worth it?

 
Originally Posted by kerker /img/forum/go_quote.gif

 In the end you just think, is this person worth it?

Oh wow ca - Australia!  That's rough!  Did you move to CA or did he move? 

He's totally worth it, not even a doubt in my mind!

 
Originally Posted by Bonnie Krupa /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Did you move to CA or did he move? 
lol yeh its quite a distance, there was a period where we didn't see each other for 7mths, it was getting too expensive travelling back and forth. He moved to Australia in May 11. We're getting married next month! So have you guys discussed who will be moving?

 
omg 7 months!!!  and here I am complaining about not seeing him for 1.5 months haha :( /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  Congrats on your wedding next month that's amazing!!!   I'm moving to tucson on valentines day hehe.  4 months AHHH  seems so far away!   We're also going to be getting engaged soon, I'm very excited.  My parents are worried that it's too soon but I just know he's the one.

 
Yep when you know he's the one, he's the one!! How long have you guys been dating? (don't have to ans if its getting too personal). My fiance and I were dating for a yr lol its pretty quick too but after 5mths I realised he was the one.

4 months will go by quick once you start organising the move there. Congrats for the two of yous!

 

Latest posts

Back
Top