Boyfriend dumps me out of the blue and then gets with ex girlfriend.

I am just so confused. I think its my own fault because he has disappeared on me before and I just keep letting him come back in my life even after saying he would never do it again. My now ex boyfriend and I were together off and on for 8 months. He would leave for a week at a time and not explain anything. He would eventually come back and say that he was sorry and that he only wants me and no one else. Well this last time we were doing great, he finally convinced me to get back together with him. We were even talking about getting a place together. He was the first to tell me he loved me and that he wanted to marry me someday....right... Then out of the blue he says "i want to take a break, i need time to think." And then comes back to say that "he doesn't want to be tied down, no matter how hard he tries he cant do it". When just that afternoon we were talking and texting like we usually do all lovey dovey. I am soo confused and hurt. I feel like such an idiot for even allowing him back into my life when i didn't want to in the first place. It seems like everytime i finally get over the hurt, here he comes to smack me back down.  I feel like hes tricked me into liking him again and its not fair that he gets to do this to me. On top of everything, i find out that not even a day later he is back with his ex!!! Has anyone ever been through this? Im just at a loss, i don't know what to feel. I just want to crawl into a hole somewhere.

Learning experience. The guy sounds like a player and wants his cake and eat too. Unfortunately he'll continue to do it to you again if you let him. My advice move on and find a guy that will treat you like a queen.

hey so sorry to ear about the break up but look on the bright side you dont have to stress over if he will come back or not, you will have more time to focus on yourself and your friends so go out and have fun!!!

Dont let him back into your life he will never change, MEN DON'T CHANGE!  

So put a BIG SMILE on your face and walk straight ahead for your goals in life and achive them sooo then later on in life he will realise what he lost!

Take care of your self   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Thank you for the replies! I feel a lot better. I honestly don't know what i was thinking but i know one thing, i deserve better. I guess i just feel stupid in a sense and like such a cliche for going back to him time and time again. I just wish it didn't feel this bad and that i didn't give him the satisfaction of dumping him first.

I totally know the feeling, doll.  Don't feel stupid over it, just make sure you learn from your mistakes.  There are a lot of mean people out there that only care about themselves.  A similar instance happened to me a few years ago but I let it continue for like 3 years.  Just don't make the same mistake twice and let him back into your life.  He doesn't deserve you..  There are good people out there.  And I ended up meeting a nice guy, who is triple the man my ex will ever be ;]

PS: 4 years later, I've gotten a private message on facebook from the ex apologizing, wanting to meet up and sh*t. Who has the last laugh now?

Men like that dont deserve good people like you. Dont worry about not getting the satisfaction of dumping him first because I have a feeling that once hes through with his ex, he will probably try you again... and this time you can tell him where to go!! As women we tend to want to be loved, and who doesnt right? But so many women (including me once upon a time) keep letting these losers get what they want because we are so trusting and soft hearted, but to these men we are only their comforters when something goes wrong in their life, they always have 'a home' to go back to...YOU!

The only way these types of guys are going to know your worth is when you put them in their place and stand up about who you are,  what you want and be a strong woman!!. Weak and soft women are always a target for these selfish men.

Look on the bright side hun, now you have one less headache to worry about.

I was like you, I was always getting hurt by men but one day I had had enough and decided to change my attitude towards myself, Im not a bad person so I deserve a good person in return....

Love yourself first and always believe that YOU DESERVE THE BEST!!

I know it hurts right now, but try to distract yourself from thinking about him or what hes done... hes not even worth one second of your life /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Ya know, men are always on their best behaviour at the beginning of a relationship.

Some will maintain a high level of adoration and respect for their woman.

Others quickly revel themselves to be selfish, self absorbed, using dogs.

Now you know which type of man you just freed yourself from.

Believe me, this guy is a player and will continue to play you as long as you allow it.

Rather than wanting to have the last breakup, be happy that you are finally free to find a decent man that will love, respect and adore you.

Originally Posted by Dragonfly /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Ya know, men are always on their best behaviour at the beginning of a relationship.

Some will maintain a high level of adoration and respect for their woman.

Others quickly revel themselves to be selfish, self absorbed, using dogs.

Now you know which type of man you just freed yourself from.

Believe me, this guy is a player and will continue to play you as long as you allow it.

Rather than wanting to have the last breakup, be happy that you are finally free to find a decent man that will love, respect and adore you.

Click to expand...

This is great advice. Move on. There are men in this world that will love you the way you are supposed to be loved. All humans are flawed but some seem to be inherently more flawed than others.

Ya know, men are always on their best behaviour at the beginning of a relationship. Some will maintain a high level of adoration and respect for their woman. Others quickly revel themselves to be selfish, self absorbed, using dogs. Now you know which type of man you just freed yourself from. Believe me, this guy is a player and will continue to play you as long as you allow it. Rather than wanting to have the last breakup, be happy that you are finally free to find a decent man that will love, respect and adore you.

Click to expand...

Well said, Carolyn! Move on and live the life that you deserve!

Thank you so much for your replies everyone. I can't tell you how much this has opened my eyes and has truly helped me. This has been very insightful. I will move on with an open heart and mind. Thank you again! /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />