19 & Still single!

Hello everyone!

First off, I am a guy. I figured the only place I would be able to get a females perspective on my story would be this forum. I wish I could add to the makeup discussion, but I’m afraid I would not do you any good J

I’m 19 years old, and am single. Actually, never had a girlfriend. Lately it’s been starting to get to me actually. I feel a little alone out there in schooling and my personal life. I have plenty of guy friends to keep my days fun and busy, but I feel like I just want something else that a relationship would give.

For example, there is this girl in my math class who I find really great. She dresses very modestly, has many similar interests to me, laughs at my jokes, stares into my eyes etc. Okay, maybe she just happens to be laughing when I say jokes, or is looking at my eyes because their red or something /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />. Because I feel like this happens a lot, I will get really into a girl that I like, and I think she likes me. However it turns out this girl already has a boyfriend, and every reason I thought she liked me for what she did was because maybe she liked me as a friend.

Anyways,

I’ve been trying to forget about her because its really hard for me to accept a girl that I like as a friend. She is just a very friendly person, to everyone.

My question is, what am I doing wrong. I don’t feel like im unnatractive, I am a fit guy who makes a lot of jokes and can be mature. I don’t drink, smoke or do anything bad. I have very good grades in college, and don’t want to date a girl that dresses innapropriately or who exemplifies certain body parts.

I just feel like a dumbo when I get really into a girl, tell my friends how great she is and how we have all these similar interests and I think she likes me, then find out she has a boyfriend and is just that friendly to everyone.

Actually,

I don’t think I really know why im posting this. I think I just wanted to share my feelings to someone. All my friends are guys. At least the ones I would share this with!

Thanks for reading so much J

We girls are very complicated! I used to have similar problems when I was your age, but I just felt like the guy I was into is too good for me. I would go out with someone who I think is not out of my league even if I actually like someone else more.. I would still keep laughing at his jokes and send mixed signals even if I had a boyfriend for the odd chance we might end up together (what was I thinking?!) So in the end the guy ended up dating my model bestie and years later I found out that he secretly had a crush on me but thought I wasn't interested. I dressed pretty modest too and thought most guys would rather date girls who show more skin. My point is, if she is anything like I used to be, she probably thinks that there's just no way someone like you is interested in someone like her. Take a chance and ask her out, it's the only way to know for sure. If you are rejected - so be it, this is not the end of the world /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> 

#YOLO as you young folks say these days haha   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Good luck!

And as an added bonus here's a pic of me from when I was 19 (I'm now 28).

I look at it now and can't imagine wearing a sweater like that EVER! Gosh, I dressed like such a dork /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Everyone, man or woman is complicated. It's all a crapshoot when it comes to finding someone for a relationship. At least 3of my past boyfriends have literally asked for me to take a chance on them when asking me out, including my husband of 16yrs. I think men have been designated to be the pursuer although there are women that pursue potential mates. Maybe she is just waiting for you to show interest. There is someone for everyone. Maybe it won't be for you at 19 but maybe 20 or 21.

Thank you both for the replies!

I don't think I will be asking her out, I mean she does have a boyfriend and I do get a few signals she isn't into " that " me.

I'll move on from her, I think thats the best way to remain sane /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Divadoll  is right, I may be 20 or 21 till I meet the one.

Thank you all again 

Its good to know when to move on.  There are lots of girls and you just need to find the one that bests suits who you are.  I was 24 when I met my future husband then and he was 32.  We've been married for 16yrs and together for over 19.  Its worth the wait if you want something worthwhile. 

Originally Posted by Achieve242 /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Thank you both for the replies!

I don't think I will be asking her out, I mean she does have a boyfriend and I do get a few signals she isn't into " that " me.

I'll move on from her, I think thats the best way to remain sane /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Divadoll  is right, I may be 20 or 21 till I meet the one.

Thank you all again 

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Originally Posted by divadoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Its good to know when to move on.  There are lots of girls and you just need to find the one that bests suits who you are.  I was 24 when I met my future husband then and he was 32.  We've been married for 16yrs and together for over 19.  Its worth the wait if you want something worthwhile. 

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Congrats /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Thanks for the advice.

I'm a bit emotional when it comes to woman I guess. I escalate and overthink the little things and over react.

But its great to know im not too old /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Things happen when they happen.  Take it easy and relax because the one thing that girls can pick up on and find really unattractive is desperation.  

19 is really young.  Take the time to know more about yourself and enjoy the things you like to do because what girls find most attractive is confidence (don't confuse that with arrogance). Since you are still going to school, its best to concentrate on that.  Many find it very difficult to juggle relationship and school at the same time... this included me /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Originally Posted by divadoll /img/forum/go_quote.gif

Things happen when they happen.  Take it easy and relax because the one thing that girls can pick up on and find really unattractive is desperation.  

19 is really young.  Take the time to know more about yourself and enjoy the things you like to do because what girls find most attractive is confidence (don't confuse that with arrogance). Since you are still going to school, its best to concentrate on that.  Many find it very difficult to juggle relationship and school at the same time... this included me /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

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That was really helpful. I think your totally right about desperation, and I think I may feel that way towards her now possibly. So I'm going to go out and enjoy doing the things I do and let them fall into place. I think if I try to hard with one girl it may lead to desperation. 

Anyways, just talking out loud now!

Thanks /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I think divadoll was spot on with her advice and thoughts. Relationships are a total crapshoot; nerves, emotions, our own perceptions...yada yada.. You are pretty young, too. Don't sweat it and just enjoy. Funny thing about projecting desperation or a strong desire to be in a relationship...I always ended up in relationships and meeting partners when I wasn't actively looking or seeking someone. When I did focus on finding dates or boyfriends...I was never successful. 

Originally Posted by MissLindaJean /img/forum/go_quote.gif

 I always ended up in relationships and meeting partners when I wasn't actively looking or seeking someone.

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That is so true! I think this advice can maybe help others who might be reading this thread.

I'm a girl but I feel the same way. Never had a boyfriend, doesn't want a guy who drinks, smokes and acts immature all the time. Just want someone to have fun with /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> But I'm only 20 and there are many people on this planet so /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />