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jessica33

Husband and girl that is friend

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Is it just me or I don't approve on my husband having a girl that was his friend it all started when he was working at his new job he would always call me at lunch to talk and then after a period of time he started to not call he was always having lunch with this girl he say that there was no flirting going on but come on for him to hide it from me and for me to find out out of nowhere what do you all think??!! I need truthful advise

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I say, meet the girl, have lunch with both of them, maybe drop in during their lunch time? 

That way maybe U will see she's really nothing, or if there's something going on :/

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Quote:
Originally Posted by v0ltagekid View Post
 

I say, meet the girl, have lunch with both of them, maybe drop in during their lunch time? 

That way maybe U will see she's really nothing, or if there's something going on :/

 


I agree with this.  I know it's hard not to jump to conclusions, but just try to stay calm and be mature about it and try to see what's going on, discreetly.  Snoop a little if you have to, I've always said it's perfectly ok to snoop when something is up.  I don't think you should just do it all the time and if you are, then there's something wrong with you and the relationship.   But husband having lots of lunches with a female at work and not calling you as much?  Yes, I would start doing a little detective work.  

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Second that. To have a lunch with them would be a great idea. You'll right away fell what energy this friendship has. Well, maybe not right away, but you will see the clues :)

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I'm a girl. I work. And I'd get seriously annoyed if a guy wouldn't have lunch with me because of my gender. A lot of work talk happens during lunch, it's unavoidable. Ideas flowing, responses formulated, even tasks getting assigned. Work relationships are essential for gaining support for your ideas, cooperation in keeping projects on track, or needing the occasional favor to get something done. Getting to know people and building that rapport is the key. Since he's new, he's probably trying to get a feel for things, and vice versa. Lunch with them is a good idea. I personally would welcome any girlfriend/wife to lunch. It would give me a better understanding of who my coworker is and how to work better with them. And if it were me in your shoes? I would absolutely expect my husband to find a way to include me somehow in this part of his life.

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In all honesty, it really is not clear one way or another if something is up. Him having a friend that is female is not a forgone conclusion that there is something up and taking issue with him over it is probably not going to win you any medals. 

Do you trust him? If you say no, then there is no problem. If you say yes, then you need to work on why? 

I know there is the fallback of I trust him, but not here, but that actually means you do not trust him. 

If you do not trust him, you need to see in yourself whether he is unworthy of trust or whether you are unwilling to give him trust. From here you will have an idea of how to proceed with things. 

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