GirlMichi~I'm so sorry to hear you're in so much pain and struggling. I think it's always harder when there is another woman involved. However, you mention that your ex is bipolar. That is a very difficult disease to live with, especially if he's inconsistent with medication and treatment and from his behavior it sounds like he isn't treated properly. Given what he has done to you in the past I would say that you are lucky he has gone, and I actually feel sorry for the woman he is with because eventually he will do the same things to her that he did to you.
My son is Bipolar, he is very seriously ill and non compliant. I am still friends with his ex and she is doing so much better now without him. I don't want to sound like a traitor regarding my son, I love him with all of my heart, but I also see his behavior and cannot condone it. When he is on his medication he can be the sweetest, most charming amazing guy, but when he's not, and he chooses to abuse substances he's absolutely horrific to be with. I would not wish that on anyone. Until he realizes that life is much better when his illness is under control (and it is an illness, no ones fault, it just is what it is, not unlike my youngest son who has Aspergers) he will not be a good candidate for a LTR. You are doing all the right things right now. You are reaching out to your friends both on and offline, and this is a great forum for support and encouragement, you are distancing yourself from him, hopefully, please do not return his calls or pleas to come back or that he will be different this time, it's not going to happen right now, maybe in a few years, when he's gotten it together things could be different, but right now there has not been nearly enough time for any positive change. And if he feels you are a constant, a take him back regardless of the cost to you he will try to come back at the end. Don't be that person who tolerates everything because of love, it's not really love if he's acting that way towards you, or it may be all he's capable of, and frankly you deserve better. Consider getting some counseling yourself, it's a great way to have a sounding board and if you can't afford a one on one counselor privately, contact your local domestic abuse shelter (if you PM me I can help you find one, I was a volunteer at our local one for years and it's often easier with someone at your side, even online), they almost always have both individual and group therapy at no cost. They even provide childcare in many cases so that you can attend.
An analogy that someone once gave me when I wanted my ex to change and kept going back was, 'don't sit under an apple tree waiting for peaches to fall in your lap". He's an apple tree, you need peaches, don't expect what he can't give you. If you do you're just waiting for those apples to conk you on the head. And from the abuse, you've had more then enough of his apples. When you're feeling weak, come here, someone will almost always be available to encourage you and help you through those cravings for the relationship. And ask yourself if you were in it because of him, or because you liked the security of a relationship, you may be surprised with some soul searching with what you've found. Please keep us updated, obviously we care about you and want you to be happy, and most of all, safe-both physically and emotionally It may not feel like it now, but it will get better, trulul ...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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It probably feels like it won't ever be ok, but I promise it will. When relationships end it feels like the end of your world, and it might be the end as you've known it, but from what you've said, perhaps that means a better world ahead. With your ex as part of your life you did not have the chance to be open to a strong, healthy relationship. As the Mother of a son who is Bipolar I can tell you it's a horrible, debilitating disease that turns our loved ones into someone we don't recognize. My son, when he's taking his medications and being compliant about not drinking, can be the kindest, most generous, loving boyfriend a woman could ask for. Then he stops doing things that are healthy for him and his world implodes. He is cruel and thoughtless and rather than unfeeling feels too much and worries about the woman cheating/not loving him/and all kinds of other insecurities that can come out in mental and physical violence. I cannot stand him when he is like that, though my love is unwavering as his Mother. I have remained friends with some of his ex's and frankly have told them to get out of relationships with h
I feel stupid. I would always forgive him thinking that he was going to change. Then on the third year he push me to the ground. Then some of his friends told me that he was cheating on me. After that i decided to leave for a few months. We were in contact while i was away. Then i came back and he was acted nice ,but then he left me for somebody else. 
/emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I dont know how to move on. This is so hard for me. I feel heartbroken.
