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Nov 17, 2013
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So this is pretty superficial but it's been an annoyance for a while and I thought I'd post for ideas on the best way to handle it (I feel awkward starting threads). I met this gentleman during my internship in Korea and I visit Korea regularly now. On my recent stay back in Canada it had been a couple months since I'd been in Korea and he hadn't contacted me. I was a little disappointed because I enjoyed his company. But even in Korea he was flaky about staying in contact so I shrugged it off. He contacted me again out the blue. I asked him why and he said "I thought about you a lot but I couldn't contact you before". So we talked for a while and he flirted with me and sent me pictures and asked for my pictures. And he kept telling me to come back to Korea. Now he's flaking again. And it's annoying. I don't want to be straight up rude but how do I tell him to either make his intentions clear or stop messing around with me? He's the one who said "let's talk often!" this time around and he's the one bailing. Not sure what he means with his words and actions. Also: I'm not keen on dating him fyi. I have a boyfriend of three years and this fellow knows.

 
He's probably married or something, there's no reason for him to be all vague and weird and keep disappearing/reappearing other than he has someone else in his life.  Move on.  Especially if you have a boyfriend!   

 
Lol he isn't married. I was at his home with his parents. He's only 26 (too young to marry in Korea considering culture and military service) and I'm almost 23. I've made it clear I don't want a relationship with him in that manner but we were pretty good friends for a while. I don't want to lose him as a friend but at the same time I don't understand why he keeps flaking. The fact that I only want to be friends and he knows is why I'm so confused by his behaviour. Most of my friends are guys but my two best friends are girls. Men and women can be friends.

 
Lol he isn't married. I was at his home with his parents. He's only 26 (too young to marry in Korea considering culture and military service) and I'm almost 23. I've made it clear I don't want a relationship with him in that manner but we were pretty good friends for a while. I don't want to lose him as a friend but at the same time I don't understand why he keeps flaking. The fact that I only want to be friends and he knows is why I'm so confused by his behaviour. Most of my friends are guys but my two best friends are girls. Men and women can be friends.
IMHO, how much you prioritize him is different from his. He may be eager to keep a contact with you but probably doesn't feel the need to constantly talk with you. Plus you live in different countries and that makes it harder to stay in touch.
 
Ahh ok. Well then he's just being a boy. He probably figures 'whatever' because A. You have a boyfriend and B. you live in different countries. Those are 2 major things and guys that age generally won't put much effort into situations like that unless they are madly in love with you.

 

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