Jump to content
zadidoll

Secret Santa 2014 input wanted

Recommended Posts

Ok. I'm finally caught up on this thread. I hadn't looked at this one in weeks!

I agree with the mandatory survey before being allowed to join, I have been very lucky to get very active giftees in both of my experiences and I honestly love these and am sure we can come together and have another successful SS.

A big thanks to the mods...I'm sure I have no idea how much work it is to get something like this to run smoothly-but it's great fun, so THANKS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all

 

I'm nervous to be posting this because I have never participated in secret santa or summer swap or any of those things.. But I've really enjoyed following along on the threads, and I thought it might be interesting for you guys to hear a perspective from a newer member who hopes to participate in the winter.

 

For all intents and purposes, you guys would probably consider me a pain to shop for. I don't participate a ton, and when I do, it tends to be in the subs or no-buy threads. I'm not super comfortable just chiming in with my opinion randomly, so when I do post, it tends to be because I have something substantial to share. If there was a minimum post requirement in a certain period, I'd worry that my number of inane, not really contributing much to the conversation would go up, just to make sure I'm hitting it. I read the forums a lot but never chime in with a "me too!" or "great haul!" etc. because I don't think they add anything to the conversation. Especially now with "liking" posts, if I like something, I just click the button. 

 

I'm not going to lie, watching these threads unravel, there is a very clique-ish vibe. I think the FGC one was particularly bad because you had to had participated in the winter SS, so obviously it was all older members. And I know you guys don't intend to be clique-ish AT ALL, but for someone who is a bit more introverted and awkward like me, it can be tricky to try to figure out when to jump in on the conversation. You guys all know each other so well that it can feel a little like the uninvited girl at a party standing on the edge of a circle trying to laugh along with an inside joke. I didn't follow the summer swap threads as much but really liked the questions because that helped everyone jump in.

 

I guess most of what I wanted to say that just because people don't participate in chat threads or have hundreds/thousands of posts doesn't mean they wouldn't really enjoy the SS process or don't participate in MUT. I am on the forums all the time reading, but I just don't always feel like I have something to say. That's just me. And it would feel kind of crappy if people that post "great box!" 10 times on the same thread got to participate and I didn't. 

 

I get that this might make me harder/less fun to buy for, but that's the purpose of the survey right? I'd just encourage you to keep the needs/nerves/concerns of newer and shyer users in mind. You guys are a tight knit group! If you just want to exchange gifts with your friends, then you definitely should do that and then bully for me, and that's fine! But I think the idea is to incorporate newer users and open it up to the community at large, and I'm not sure adding these different rules would accomplish that. 

  • Like 16

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The whole "clique" topic has been brought up by moderators to me as well. When I took over Secret Santa it was a way people to get to know each other since MUT at the time was filled with lots of members who had been around for a long time (many are no longer here) but really didn't know each other. It was also a place to give people a safe place to swap since I've seen (and participated) in Secret Santa exchanges on other sites. I don't want to turn Secret Santa into an event that prohibits or restricts newer or even shy members from posting. This is why I'm pretty sure I'm not going to change the rules to include a "must be active" requirement. The more I think about it and the more I think that's just a bad idea. So long as the person acknowledges the gift has been received - either to me, another mod who is helping me or in charge of the event and to the Secret Santa that's fine.

 

Last year there were issues with a couple of Secret Santas - including from one who is now banned from the site. In one case the items sent were clearly used items that came from a smoker's home. On top of it she sent the gift AFTER the Secret Santa deadline. There were a few other bad instances but that one is the one that still stands out to me because the person flat out lied to me multiple times. She eventually made off with a circular swap box which forced me to ban her account due to a swap theft.

 

With October just a few weeks away I'll have a more formal list of rules up. I think we'll soon have the poll questions up to see what rules we're modifying or adding/removing this year. By September I think.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@  I'm sorry but I truly do not understand what about it would be fun for you.  Regardless of a survey, people want to know who they're gifting and they get incredibly frustrated when that's not possible.  Knowing that you'd make it difficult and not fun, you'd still do it anyway?  I find that just plain odd.

 

PS:  I don't have a clique here on mut and I really can't say I've ever really noticed exclusionary behaviour...which is what cliques do.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DonnaD, I really like you.  Please know that I do respect you GREATLY and think you are one of the most generous members on here, and that what I say next I say as respectfully as possible.

 

Your ideas on this simply do not represent that of all of Makeup talk or, I certainly hope, of a majority of members.  In fact, I think your opinion is an extreme minority, at least to the degree to which you hold it.

 

I think you had a genuinely horrific experience in December with your nails Santee and I am beyond sorry about that.  I was appalled at how she treated you. I am also sorry that your more recent Santee did not meet your expectations.

 

However, your expectations are just that- yours- and they are yours to deal with.  Of my 3 Santees so far, only one was a regular poster.  I will admit I found it easier to shop for her than for the other 2, and was more confident in my gift to her. However, I genuinely enjoyed shopping for all 3 of my santees and felt no anger or bitterness that they did not post more.  I do not think they made it less fun for me.  I also do not think it is their responsibility to make it fun for me. Instead, I view it as MY responsibility to do my best to make the experience good for them and make their gift the best I can make it.

 

I think we all need to keep in mind that everyone has different personalities and also different circumstances.  Something that you have brought up A LOT is that everyone must  have 5 minutes to post something.  Some people would rather spend that time reading and keeping up with their Santee.  Also, (and again, respectfully) I think it is a fact based on some of what you've said about your life that you are lucky enough to have considerably more free time than some of us do.  I think if you saw my schedule and what I deal with on a day to day basis just in terms of where I need to be and for how long (as just a start, it is a VERY GOOD day if I only work from 8 am till 7 pm, and that is not my only obligation on my time, to say nothing of the personal obligations to other people I have) you would be surprised. Some days or weeks I can and do post from work.  Other weeks, if it is very busy, I just cannot. I do not mean this to say anything good or bad about either your or my situation, or to be like OMG PITY ME I am soooo busy, but it is just a fact.

 

As for there not being cliques, I feel they definitely do exist.  Certain members here have a downright following and follow one another.  I don't let it bother me but it is just a fact. I don't think these people are intentional about it (and some of them would be shocked that I think of them this way) but they do exist. If you are lucky enough not to see it I think that's great.

 

I really hope that my tone is okay, because again, I greatly do respect you.  But I really think your anger toward people who in your view aren't making it 'fun' enough for their Santa according to you is out of control. Some of your comments earlier on this thread almost brought me to tears.

  • Like 14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@tulosai  You're fine and I really do understand your points.  All of them.  To me the whole thing is like saying you want to join the softball team but you don't like pitching so you shouldn't have too.

 

And to clarify ONE MORE TIME...I am not saying that people be asked to do anything more than post onc a week on the thread and post a reveal with or without pictures.  THAT"S IT.  I think people have gotten it in their heads that I want forced participation and that's not what I'm saying.  You have to have a certain post count to participate so posting is a requirement and nobody is belly-aching about that.  Posting once a week for 4-8 weeks isn't twisting arms and breaking kneecaps.  It's asking for some courtesy and participation.  I can't see what about that is so monstrous.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all

 

I'm nervous to be posting this because I have never participated in secret santa or summer swap or any of those things.. But I've really enjoyed following along on the threads, and I thought it might be interesting for you guys to hear a perspective from a newer member who hopes to participate in the winter.

 

For all intents and purposes, you guys would probably consider me a pain to shop for. I don't participate a ton, and when I do, it tends to be in the subs or no-buy threads. I'm not super comfortable just chiming in with my opinion randomly, so when I do post, it tends to be because I have something substantial to share. If there was a minimum post requirement in a certain period, I'd worry that my number of inane, not really contributing much to the conversation would go up, just to make sure I'm hitting it. I read the forums a lot but never chime in with a "me too!" or "great haul!" etc. because I don't think they add anything to the conversation. Especially now with "liking" posts, if I like something, I just click the button. 

 

I'm not going to lie, watching these threads unravel, there is a very clique-ish vibe. I think the FGC one was particularly bad because you had to had participated in the winter SS, so obviously it was all older members. And I know you guys don't intend to be clique-ish AT ALL, but for someone who is a bit more introverted and awkward like me, it can be tricky to try to figure out when to jump in on the conversation. You guys all know each other so well that it can feel a little like the uninvited girl at a party standing on the edge of a circle trying to laugh along with an inside joke. I didn't follow the summer swap threads as much but really liked the questions because that helped everyone jump in.

 

I guess most of what I wanted to say that just because people don't participate in chat threads or have hundreds/thousands of posts doesn't mean they wouldn't really enjoy the SS process or don't participate in MUT. I am on the forums all the time reading, but I just don't always feel like I have something to say. That's just me. And it would feel kind of crappy if people that post "great box!" 10 times on the same thread got to participate and I didn't. 

 

I get that this might make me harder/less fun to buy for, but that's the purpose of the survey right? I'd just encourage you to keep the needs/nerves/concerns of newer and shyer users in mind. You guys are a tight knit group! If you just want to exchange gifts with your friends, then you definitely should do that and then bully for me, and that's fine! But I think the idea is to incorporate newer users and open it up to the community at large, and I'm not sure adding these different rules would accomplish that. 

I felt this way when I first started posting, after months and months of lurking. Once I jumped in a started posting I felt like everyone was really friendly and accepting. Sometimes I have info to share or sometime I just really like something someone posted and make a unnecessary "Oh pretty" comment. I try to keep in under control though, hehe.

 

I just started birchbox and when I post there I sometimes feel outside the group, but it's not because of cliques, but they all have a wealth of info (which I do not) and also because many of the people in the thread "know" each other from much time spent chatting.

 

*Also please join the xmas swap!!!

 

I guess I felt like I got to know a lot of the people because of the swap and that meant more to me then the gifts, although the gifts made it extra fun.  

Edited by sarap

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

I guess I felt like I got to know a lot of the people because of the swap and that meant more to me then the gifts, although the gifts made it extra fun.  

 

And that's exactly what multiple people (including @zadidoll) have said was the whole point of ss to begin with.   And it's where my frustration an anger comes into play most because they keep saying it but then say participation should be optional...which is a total contradiction.

 

I know I come on strong.  I think I read nastier than I actually am and angrier than I actually feel.  I got really angry over being made to feel like I was being an unreasonable b*tch and a bully when the only thing I was trying to say is that the whole thing is supposed to be about bonding and getting to know each other and if people are too shy or too busy to participate, then they're defeating the entire purpose of the exchange....to get to know each other!!!

 

It frustrates the crap out of me when people speak out two sides of their heads.  It's either social and about getting to know each other or it's not.  You cannot get to know someone who doesn't participate.  That's the long and short of it.  I just want to know what it's really about if participation isn't expected.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can we please stop acting like everyone is the same and everyone has the same priorities, interests, and personalities. Not everyone can just "jump right in" and make friends the same way. Not everyone joins SS for the same exact reason. Not everyone's definition of "fun" is the same. Not everyone treats SS the same exact way. Secret Santa is more than one thing to everyone, just as Zadi said it's both a social function and a swapping function.

 

Some people just want a safe place to swap, and MUT has a good reputation for that. And guess what? That's ok.

Edited by kawaiimeows
  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ I'm sorry but I truly do not understand what about it would be fun for you. Regardless of a survey, people want to know who they're gifting and they get incredibly frustrated when that's not possible. Knowing that you'd make it difficult and not fun, you'd still do it anyway? I find that just plain odd.

 

PS: I don't have a clique here on mut and I really can't say I've ever really noticed exclusionary behaviour...which is what cliques do.

I think there's lots of ways this can be fun for a member like @. I can see how the fun can just come by simply following along. If I had a rare but thoughtful poster, as @ makes her self out to be, I personally would find that enjoyable. Between the survey, those 50-100 or whatever posts (lol compared to my what? 2k+ yikes), I think I can take a lot from that. I'd rather see 50-100 thoughtful posts than 2000 "me too!" Or "OMG cute!" We can't ask everyone to make thoughtful posts all the time. And she's right, with the "like" feature, continuing to *not* post is easier.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi all, I've just stumbled into this thread and I've taken an ungodly amount of time to read from beginning to end. I think @hsalt did an amazing job (2 weeks ago) describing her feelings as a newbie looking in, and I want to echo some of her sentiments.

 
Firstly, I really enjoyed the Summerswap, which is the only swap I've participated in. Things I liked: lots of time to shop and stalk, helpful roadies, great/concise/thorough survey, separation of threads, and great discussion happening in the threads.
 
However, there were also some things that didn't work so well for me. Due to being busy and going on a 2-week vacation in early June, I missed the first 2 weeks of the discussion thread. Basically, I signed up, went on vacation, and came back to 60+ pages in the discussion thread. Having never done a swap like this, I felt like I might have missed a TON and I was overwhelmed. When I e-mailed for help because I didn't know 1) if surveys had been sent out, 2) if addresses had been sent out, 3) if we were going to be required to get something local/something handmade, 4) were public wishlists required? or 5) if anything really important had happened in those 60+ pages, I received a frustrated response from a moderator. Eventually, someone did send my buddy's swap answers and I appreciated that a lot, but I also felt very embarrassed and stupid for having to ask. I genuinely hope that this was a fluke/bad timing and that I was the only one to feel this way, because it could have been discouraging to others. 
 
At this time, the forum had just switched over, I had no idea how to view my buddy's posts, and I hadn't received her survey answers, so I felt really in the dark and intimidated. I don't consider myself to be super shy, but I really had a hard time just jumping into the discussion thread after that. I felt like the 3rd grader who joins class half-way in - I was out of the loop and didn't really know anyone. That whole experience honestly scared me away from participating too much in the discussion thread. I wish I had forced myself to participate more because it would have helped my swap buddy, but I didn't, and that's that. With my example, I really don't think it is fair to force discussion participation. Introverts like myself get intimidated easily. A good thorough survey should be enough to get to know someone, as long as said survey is distributed properly.
 
Nonetheless, I would love another opportunity to jump discussion threads, especially if there are related guiding questions. I'm good at talking when there are guiding questions. So, that's my end point - if we want to get as many people involved as possible without mandating it, a Summerswap Discussion-esque thread with lots of engaging questions is great! And if moderators/organizers have important announcements (like "We won't be sending out surveys until much later"), then those should not be posted within the midst of otherwise unimportant chit chat. Then people won't feel out of the loop, but they also won't feel pressured to be super active in the chit chat thread.
 
Secondly, this swap made me realize that I am not very good at sharing my personal life/interests in the way that others do, and I don't amass as many posts as others. I check this website a lot more often than my post count might indicate because I just don't post about myself very often. I'm a minimalist and I try not to be a self-talker, which probably made me harder to shop for. With hindsight, I have seen posts by my buddy saying that I was difficult to shop for and she didn't know where to start, etc. I honestly didn't think I'd be that difficult. She ended up doing an amazing job, but I hate thinking she was miserable. 
 
I guess my point is: please don't implement a strict 50-100 posts per 3-6 months or something, because I don't want to be pressured to post that much. I like posting on this site, but usually I'm not posting about myself or my likes/dislikes anyway. In the same vein, I don't want my buddy to be frustrated that they don't know anything about me, so I think the thorough survey is very important. Like I mentioned, I am okay talking about myself when there are guiding questions, but otherwise I am insecure. I assume there are other members like me.
 
Lastly, I want to say why I decided to participate and will participate again: 1) I love shopping for people, especially when it comes to make-up, and there is honestly no one in my personal life who enjoys make-up the way the MUT community does - I enjoy being able to give someone a gift they will love! 2) I see it as a social activity, but not because I want to get to know EVERY member of the swap... instead, I've gotten to know a few people (mainly my recipient and my giftee). Even just one new forum buddy is good enough for me. I don't think inactivity by a few participants will ruin the fun for everyone else. I sure hope my inactivity didn't ruin someone's fun. 
 
Edit: Sorry - this is so long. Tried to do some trimming.
Edited by jocedun
  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

please don't implement a strict 50-100 posts per 3-6 months

 

The reason they do that is more for reliability and longevity.  Anyone can come on the board and have 10 posts, sign up for a swap and never send something to their person.  If you don't post, not only does nobody know who you are but they have no way of knowing if you could be trusted. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The reason they do that is more for reliability and longevity.  Anyone can come on the board and have 10 posts, sign up for a swap and never send something to their person.  If you don't post, not only does nobody know who you are but they have no way of knowing if you could be trusted. 

Oh, I definitely understand the rationale behind a minimum post count. I think that's a perfectly reasonable expectation that participants have at least 50 (or is it more?) total posts.

 

However, I don't think frequency should be a factor (# posts over x amount of time). Quality over quantity. For example, I might only have 10-15 posts in the last 3 months (I actually have no idea - I don't keep track), but I have proven myself to be a reliable, long-term member in other ways (trading, being a consistent website user, liking posts, etc). 

Edited by jocedun
  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, I definitely understand the rationale behind a minimum post count. I think that's a perfectly reasonable expectation that participants have at least 50 (or is it more?) total posts.

 

However, I don't think frequency should be a factor (# posts over x amount of time). Quality over quantity. For example, I might only have 10-15 posts in the last 3 months (I actually have no idea - I don't keep track), but I have proven myself to be a reliable, long-term member in other ways (trading, being a consistent website user, liking posts, etc). 

I think there's way too many ways of communicating/expressing ones self on MUT, especially with the new forum switch, to make it posts per period, a minimum post count makes more sense to me because you can be a long term member, yet have something come up and not be super active for a few months, and it still allows new members a notice of some acceptable post count to attain.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

However, there were also some things that didn't work so well for me. Due to being busy and going on a 2-week vacation in early June, I missed the first 2 weeks of the discussion thread. Basically, I signed up, went on vacation, and came back to 60+ pages in the discussion thread. Having never done a swap like this, I felt like I might have missed a TON and I was overwhelmed. When I e-mailed for help because I didn't know 1) if surveys had been sent out, 2) if addresses had been sent out, 3) if we were going to be required to get something local/something handmade, 4) were public wishlists required? or 5) if anything really important had happened in those 60+ pages, I received a frustrated response from a moderator. Eventually, someone did send my buddy's swap answers and I appreciated that a lot, but I also felt very embarrassed and stupid for having to ask. I genuinely hope that this was a fluke/bad timing and that I was the only one to feel this way, because it could have been discouraging to others.

 

At this time, the forum had just switched over, I had no idea how to view my buddy's posts, and I hadn't received her survey answers, so I felt really in the dark and intimidated. I don't consider myself to be super shy, but I really had a hard time just jumping into the discussion thread after that. I felt like the 3rd grader who joins class half-way in - I was out of the loop and didn't really know anyone. That whole experience honestly scared me away from participating too much in the discussion thread. I wish I had forced myself to participate more because it would have helped my swap buddy, but I didn't, and that's that. With my example, I really don't think it is fair to force discussion participation. Introverts like myself get intimidated easily. A good thorough survey should be enough to get to know someone, as long as said survey is distributed properly.

 

Nonetheless, I would love another opportunity to jump discussion threads, especially if there are related guiding questions. I'm good at talking when there are guiding questions. So, that's my end point - if we want to get as many people involved as possible without mandating it, a Summerswap Discussion-esque thread with lots of engaging questions is great! And if moderators/organizers have important announcements (like "We won't be sending out surveys until much later"), then those should not be posted within the midst of otherwise unimportant chit chat. Then people won't feel out of the loop, but they also won't feel pressured to be super active in the chit chat thread.

 

You're right - when you're gone for a bit and the thread moves quickly, it's easy to get lost and feel intimidated to jump in. I think you bring up excellent points.

 

We did make announcements that someone who is gone for some time might lose in the mix - like address info and survey announcements.

 

I think the frustrating part on my end, and @@Babs28 can jump in here too, was that we had multiple users who asked us to "catch them up". Not necessarily JUST the announcements which are important to be caught up on of course! But we had MULTIPLE requests to "catch them up" on anything their BUDDY did/said over the past few weeks or whenever. I think that kind of request would sting any mod a bit since while we are watching the thread, we can't necessarily keep tabs on every single member and have a ready made summary to catch someone up on the happenings around MUT by a specific person (especially since we were running this swap in the middle of me finishing up my thesis and babs' work getting hectic beyond control/prediction). I'm sorry you got a terse response by a mod but those requests were something we were perplexed by.

 

I think somewhere at the gate, we should have a tutorial on how to "find content" to avoid this issue.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

An idea: maybe to make it easier, any major "announcements" ie- when addresses are going out, updates on surveys etc could be edited into the first post to make it easy for people to see/find? Just throwing it out!

 

Edit: and by survey info I mean "surveys will go out on xx date, not here's where to find your buddy's survey"

Edited by bsquared
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're right - when you're gone for a bit and the thread moves quickly, it's easy to get lost and feel intimidated to jump in. I think you bring up excellent points.

 

We did make announcements that someone who is gone for some time might lose in the mix - like address info and survey announcements.

 

I think the frustrating part on my end, and @@Babs28 can jump in here too, was that we had multiple users who asked us to "catch them up". Not necessarily JUST the announcements which are important to be caught up on of course! But we had MULTIPLE requests to "catch them up" on anything their BUDDY did/said over the past few weeks or whenever. I think that kind of request would sting any mod a bit since while we are watching the thread, we can't necessarily keep tabs on every single member and have a ready made summary to catch someone up on the happenings around MUT by a specific person (especially since we were running this swap in the middle of me finishing up my thesis and babs' work getting hectic beyond control/prediction). I'm sorry you got a terse response by a mod but those requests were something we were perplexed by.

 

I think somewhere at the gate, we should have a tutorial on how to "find content" to avoid this issue.

@ is right, we were both perplexed at how "we had MULTIPLE requests to "catch them up" on anything their BUDDY did/said over the past few weeks or whenever". Some of those weren't even requests, they were DEMANDS (not very nice) and people would outright say they haven't been active at all in that thread and probably wouldn't be, since they were very busy.  I get people are busy, believe me.  There were weeks I worked until 11 or 12 at night and then moved onto my Summerswap responsibilities.  But those responsibilities do NOT include updating people on their Swap Buddies (unless there is an issue).  If you know that you are going to be too busy to even read the threads then you shouldn't sign up. 

 

Aside from that, we had a GREAT group of Roadies who were super helpful that could be contacted.

 

At one point, Jess and I were SOO frustrated and felt so "battered" that we both couldn't wait for Summerswap to be over!!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll chime in here as well.  I know I'm not a super-poster.  I, like @@jocedun, find it hard to talk about myself.  Often times by the time I see something posted, there have been other people that have chimed in - my thought = what can I say that hasn't been said already?  I know this about myself and I did appreciate the guided questions in the SummerSwap thread and tried to answer as many as I could and to put out a fairly detailed list for the sake of my swap buddy.

 

On the other hand, my recipient was practically non-existent on the thread (except to say she was in and to post her reveal) and hadn't made out a "wish" list, so  when I found out we weren't getting the signup survey answers, I sent in a roadie to ask a few questions. It wasn't a big deal to me (really), but I do think that completing a list should be a pre-requisite to signing up/being accepted to the swap.  At least that gives some ideas for the person creating the gift if their recipient elects not to participate in the thread.  

 

Realistically, I don't see how requiring someone to participate in the thread could be easily managed or enforced.  Though, I do agree that participation does make it a more enjoyable experience for everyone, but there are many people who participate in these swaps and just as many levels of comfort in and schedule availability for participation.  

 

I'm sorry that @@Babs28 and @ had a bad experience with the SummerSwap.  I think you ladies did a fabulous job!  It sounds like some newer members participating and a brand new forum did not mix well together.  But it also sounds like there have been things learned and there are lots of ideas floating around to help things go more smoothly with Secret Santa 2014.  

 

I figure, whatever rules and expectations are ultimately decided for Secret Santa, I can determine my level of comfort with those and decide whether or not I choose to participate.  (But, really, I'm pretty easy to please - so unless I don't meet a qualification - I'm in :))

Edited by valeried44
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just found this thread today, but I think that @@jocedun and @_hsalt both made some great points. As someone who is painfully shy and socially awkward, forums like this one are incredibly hard for me to navigate. I'm just not the type of person that can jump into a conversation at random...unless I feel very strongly about what I have to say (which is the only reason I am writing here now). 

 

I participated in the Summerswap and really enjoyed it. I liked reading through the discussion thread each day and tried to jump in when I could, which admittedly was not a lot. I knew before I signed up that I'm not the type of person that would be making hundreds of posts during the swap, so I tried to be very thorough to help out the person that got my name. I made a wish list specifically for the swap, I have links to my blog and social media in my signature, and I sent a roadie a couple of other wish list links when requested. The reveal thread brought lots of smiles and I really loved seeing the gifts that everyone received. Sure, I wasn't the most involved participant, but I enjoyed it so much. I don't think it's fair to assume that just because someone isn't making tons of posts during a swap, then they aren't having fun or don't care about the swap. I lurked and read through each swap thread daily and liked tons of posts; I just didn't feel the urge to comment most of the time. I did post a lengthy reveal when I received my gift because I was extremely grateful. 

 

Reading some of the comments in this thread was a bit upsetting because it gives the impression that someone like me would be going out of their way to make things difficult. That couldn't be further from the truth. It's not like I would purposely not be commenting to make things difficult. 

 

I don't like the idea of x numbers of posts over a certain amount of time because I would likely be excluded, even though I just finished participating in a swap. Like @@jocedun, I'm on this site every day, reading through and liking posts at random. I just don't comment a lot. 

 

I think that a survey or wish list prior to sign-up is a great idea. This should ensure that whoever gets someone like me would at least have something to go on in order to purchase a gift. 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please don't misunderstand my post as saying people need to be required to post, that isn't what I meant at all. What I meant is that if you are knowingly  too busy to keep up with your "person" for the entire length of the event then perhaps participating in something like this isn't the best way to swap or get to know people. 

 

There were people who posted very little but brought a lot of useful information into the discussions and there were some who posted all the time and brought the same amount of information. Everyone made the discussion thread and then the reveal thread fun.  Although, we did, unintentionally, lose people to the MUT NEST once it opened.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok I wanted to post some thoughts/ideas I have had over the past few days as the posts people have been posting have been thought provoking for me.

 

I participated in the Secret Santa in 2012 the year I joined MUT.  That year we had "wish lists" but it was pretty much go out and buy $25 worth of stuff and mail it.  There was not really a discussion thread and there was a reveal thred but not like what there is now.

 

I also participated in Secret Santa 2013.  While the person I got did not post a lot, she had a trade thread so I had something to go off of.  I have to own the fact I could have sent more stuff but I was insecure in my selections that what if I sent her blush and she hates it?  This is why I think having the surveys helps so much.

 

An important thing to remember about the Secret Santa/summer swap is it is the members that make the group what it is.  In the 2 years I have participated the idea, concept, threads, support and gifts have evolved and that is because of the members who participated.

 

I think keeping to the requirements there have been for Secret santa must be a member for x long and have x posts, plus the survey will keep it fun for all.  And the mandatory post or PM of hey I got my gift.   I believe most of the ladies on the forum are kind, generous and want to make it fun for everyone.  of course there will be the random person/people who will do untoward things but I think those people are the exception, not the rule.

 

I want Secret Santa to be fun for all.  We all have different thoughts and opinons and that is ok and what makes makeup talk so great.  I hope people remember that it is about giving and keep things positive.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@  I'm sorry but I truly do not understand what about it would be fun for you.  Regardless of a survey, people want to know who they're gifting and they get incredibly frustrated when that's not possible.  Knowing that you'd make it difficult and not fun, you'd still do it anyway?  I find that just plain odd.

 

PS:  I don't have a clique here on mut and I really can't say I've ever really noticed exclusionary behaviour...which is what cliques do.  

 

I think there's lots of ways this can be fun for a member like @. I can see how the fun can just come by simply following along. If I had a rare but thoughtful poster, as @ makes her self out to be, I personally would find that enjoyable. Between the survey, those 50-100 or whatever posts (lol compared to my what? 2k+ yikes), I think I can take a lot from that. I'd rather see 50-100 thoughtful posts than 2000 "me too!" Or "OMG cute!" We can't ask everyone to make thoughtful posts all the time. And she's right, with the "like" feature, continuing to *not* post is easier.

I agree with what @ said. For me, part of the fun would be following along and getting to participate in something bigger on the site. As well as shopping for deals, trying to think about creative gifts, wrapping up something pretty, and generally just getting into a generous holiday spirit. I also actually get a lot out of just following threads--reading along is engaging for me just like chiming in might be engaging for you--but that might just be me being my introverted self.

 

I never said I wouldn't participate in the chat forums for SS. My point was that it is just harder for some people to open up than it might be for you--especially about general, open chat type of things--or jump in to an ongoing conversation between friends. If I participate in SS and don't talk much, my intent is certainly not to be difficult or un-fun, and I hate to think I would be making it harder for my gifter. I'm just not as comfortable/don't have as much time for random ongoing chit-chat, but I will do my best to respond to open questions and fill out the survey comprehensively to help my SS. 

 

Thanks to all for the support! 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know if this would work, but what if there was a question of the week? A quick @insertnameofmember to everyone who signed up.

 

I know not everyone would want to answer everything, but it would help people catch up with the threads. As well as give people a jumping point into the current conversation, if they're inclined.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • NARS Cosmetics Shop Cargo Cosmetics Today!


  • Recent images in this topic

  • Posts

    • Careprost is a regenerating agent that was originally developed to treat hypotrichosis and restore healthy eyelash growth. The product is a sterile solution that should be applied externally, treating them with the growth lines of the upper eyelashes and eyebrows.  Perfect eyelashes complete the look of your eyes; they add beauty to you and make you look attractive. Fuller eyelashes not only define your eyes but also sharpen your facial features. Eyes with long lashes look bigger and brighter. Whatever might be your skin’s complexion, your sharp features make you glow even in your dark skin color. The cosmetic market has a wide variety of eyelashes of different colors, length, density, and curvy ones etc. which you can wear with ease. But are these fake eyelashes are much being easier to apply or they are actually hassled. Putting fake eyelashes is a tough task and make the process troublesome is to make them intact for a long duration, controlling your hands to not to touch them. Using fake eyelashes is a temporary solution; it does not give you a natural look.
    • Yeah I totally agree  that the trends of fashion of clothes is growing with the passage of time so it's needed for everyone of clothes as make your appearance very obvious and awesome ..
    • Yes, it is quite good. Why do you ask this?
    • But what if she CAN'T afford experimenting with different products? That might really make the situation worse and harm her hair even more... Same with home remedies. If your really want to change your hairstyle then hair extension is a good option because you won't damage your hair and scalp. You can actually lookup the tutorials on the web, but videos on Youtube are more descriptive.

About MakeupTalk®

© 2003-2018 MakeupTalk.com®, an active online community and message board geared towards members wanting to discuss everything to do with makeup, cosmetics, product reviews, monthly subscription boxes and general beauty related topics. Our community provides product reviews, makeup and general beauty tips. Our most popular topics are subscription boxes and their monthly spoilers. Join our community for free to take part in the conversations and share your own beauty tips and product reviews with others. We look forward to seeing you online here at Makeuptalk®!

MakeupTalk® Facebook

×